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Old 11-26-2012, 03:30 AM
beeswing beeswing is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Southeastern Wisconsin (Milwaukee)
Posts: 14
Smile Hello from Wisconsin

Hi, Everybody,

I'm a married woman who has been dabbling in poly dating. We've been swinging for about 2.5 years, and I found that that while swinging is great for my husband, it isn't ideal for me because of the lack of an emotional/intellectual connection. So we've continued with swinging, but added the possibility of me dating on my own.

So far I guess I've done a bad job of that. I seem to end up with guys who see me as a time-filler until a single woman comes along, or else they see me as more of a FWB than anything more. Not that there's anything wrong with either arrangement, but neither is really what I am looking for. I've been rethinking how to manage things better. I think one thing I need to do is allow friendships to develop for awhile before I consider whether I want to date a person. We are closeted in terms of our non-monogamy, so existing friends are out of the question for dating. I have been looking for dates on OK Cupid, but then I have been starting out "dating" them once rapport and chemistry has been established. I am thinking maybe if I slow things down and establish a better base of friendship, I'll get better results and weed out the guys looking for fuck buddies or who aren't really interested in getting to know me as a person.

I guess that sounds pretty obvious when I write it out that way.

At any rate, I'm excited to have found this forum. I already have found a lot of food for thought and hope to find more and make some connections.

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Old 11-26-2012, 11:22 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is online now
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 14,749

Hello Beeswing,
Welcome to our forum.

I think you have the right idea, to take things slower and just try a platonic friendship at first. I'm glad to hear you've enjoyed Polyamory.com so far, and I'm sure you'll make some connections here.

Glad to have you aboard,
Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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Old 11-29-2012, 11:12 PM
Letitbe Letitbe is offline
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 34

I am from Wisconsin too. Feel free to send me a PM.
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dating, doing it wrong, friendship, introduction, swinging

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