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Old 11-19-2012, 09:14 AM
Millersftw Millersftw is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2
Default Accidentally poly?

My husband and I started in the Swingers lifestyle about 10 months and are having a great time. About 4 months ago we met a couple whom we all four clicked with instantly. We have been seeing them now probably 15 or more occasions and have been in a sexual relationship all along. Now that we are getting more comfortable I and my husband have become very bonded to this couple, and they have hinted (in a casual way so it is hard to tell their level of seriousness or even a sense of urgency) that they would be comfortable with having a deeper relationship. "I could totally see us dating you guys". Examples include suggesting weekend sleepiness at their home, in their bed; letting us know that we are their favorite play couple; my husband having his first bisexual relationship with the husband; suggesting planning parties and vacations together, a handful of times where I went on a semi date without the husband it wife (with permission!); pet names, etc. This couple is also extremely flaky and hard to nail down plans with. They have probably 10+ other play partners, and are aware we still play with others as well. We backed off a fee months ago, and when we saw each other at the same club I was upfront about sensing that they were backing away, for whatever reason, and that it was fine. That I valued them as people more than FWB so I still wanted to spend time together. They were dumbfounded, assured us that was not the case at all, and said they would do their best to do their eat to be more available. So far, not much improvement but there is effort. A bit. I still feel that we are chasing them harder than they are excited about seeing us.

Now that you have some back story, I realize that we are new to open relationships, so I wanted to know if this is a normal level for swinging relationships, and if so am I possibly reading too much into these normal getting to be comfortable with a long term couple. Also, if it isn't typical, how do we go about navigating the first quad relationship landmines that could screw up a great thing. Does "date you guys" mean see each other more often and keep the emotions casual, or deepen the emotions as the course of the relationship unfolds?

We had no idea just opening up would be so complex, but this couple is so good for us, physically, as people we also value in our lives, socially. I don't want to read too far into this and ruin things.
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