Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 07-27-2010, 08:02 AM
Tomte Tomte is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3
Default

Thank you a lot for all your advice and this lively discussion.

I am quite busy over the day and have no time to respond properly but at nighttime I will answer then.

So far: I talked with her a long time and we had a great evening yesterday.

Thanks

Tomte
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 08-01-2010, 01:03 AM
Tomte Tomte is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3
Default

hey ya,

just had a busy week and didnīt have the time to chill out.

thank you again for your post, they really helped me to find a solution for me.

Ich reacted like this:

Impatient like I am I couldnīt wait and stay calm to show her how angry or disappointed I am. So I talked with her in the evening and forgave her. I really could see at her, that she was suffering the hole day, because I didnīt write or call her. I just told her all my thoughts and tried to get some more information about this situation. When something like this is happening, then there is always an active person and a passive person. She couldnīt tell me, whether my best friend started to kiss her or if she did. This would have been something really interesting for me to find out how she is really thinking, but after the conversation I think that my best friend did the action why I forgive her and afterwards we had a beautiful evening. the later the evening the more I could see how much she regrets what she did. She is in no way poly, I can hear it clearly how she is talking and thinking. What a pity.

One reason why she was so wasted was that she could not calculate how I would react on that. She couldnīt imagine, she knew I am poly but she never made experience with that before. She expected everything and nothing. And with my reaction I could show her, that there is a different way. Yes Superjast I was able to bring her polyamory a bit closer and more understandable. That is really good, now she knows more about me and my feelings, hopefully.

But with my best friend it is now very different. Yes he is a dick and I will reacted like AutumnalTone wrote: He does know what he did and he knows that well, he also knows that I do know it. So I wonīt go to him and start to talk. I will let him know with my silence that he has to act. If he is not man enough to talk to me, then he is losing more and more my friendship. Already he lost my respect.

Also I agree with AutumnalTone in that I just enjoy the rest of the time. I a bit typical German in this relation, I do things to 100% and no half half thing. So I enjoy the time with her now in this moment and just donīt overreact and waste worth full time. In 2 month we are going separated ways and I will find new love and so she is finding new love. Maybe if the future wants it we can meet each other again.
If I would think in a longer term with her I would spent more attention to that what happened, well if we would be able to stay longer together I wouldnīt choose a closed relationship.

Ok, I thank you again for everything. I really appreciate you post and be sure that I will stay with you in this forum.

cheers

Tomte
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 02:53 AM.