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Old 11-08-2012, 04:32 AM
asemanepak1 asemanepak1 is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Detroit
Posts: 1
Question New in this belief system- long distance relationship

Hi everyone;

I have always logically accepted that we can love more than one person at same time but I have never experienced it to see how it works. It has been always emotionally a challange to me.
Now at the point in my life that I think I have to go through this. I have a boy friend who lives in Florida. I live in Michigan. We started seeing each other when we were both married and in same city. Now we are divorced and he lives in different state. Still we tried to work it out with visiting each other very 2-3 weeks. We knew we both need time after divorce to figure out what we want to do with our lives and what is that we need from relationship. We were not supposed to be exclusive sexually but some how I had the impression that we are loyal and faithful emotionally.
I just found out last week that he has fallen in love with another woman that I knew he is dating.
I knew he logically believe in polyamory but I wasn't sure if that is what he is trying to experience.
Anyway, it came out as a shock to me first and hard to digest but now after analyzing it and thinking about it I know that I want to continue my relationship with him but also I know I have hard time dealing with all the emotions and feelings.
My main problem and actually question is long distance.
How this can work in long distaance. How can I keep up with him and her.
How can I work this out? where should I start?
Is anybody here with this experience or is anybody that can help me with some advice?
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Old 11-08-2012, 07:09 PM
Tang Tang is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: gonzales, louisiana
Posts: 34

I understand your problem I too have a long distance relationship (though not that long of a distance) with someone. I had first met her after she was married and though we have never physically met we do share a deep emotional connection with each other. I have spoken with her husband many times about our relationship and he is understanding in the fact that the two of us can share our connection together, however not excluding him.

You might want to talk with both of them together and discuss the concerns that you have. Make known to all of you what are the intentions of all parties involved, you, him, and her and work it out. this however might cause a problem IF she does not know about you (and I say IF) or if she thinks of you as more of a weekend friend or the FWB type. Everyone needs to be comfortable with each other, as is with any relationship.

Jeez if I followed my own reasoning at first I wouldn't be where I am today.
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Old 11-08-2012, 07:37 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is online now
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 14,756

Hi asemanepak1,
Welcome to our forum.

My experience with LDR's is pretty limited. I just know that they are difficult, but if both people are committed to the relationship, I believe it can work.

Do you and your boyfriend have any long-term plans for moving somewhere closer together? Keeping in contact with someone remotely can be done, but it will never be the same as being there in person. Of course, you can visit each other in person from time to time, but not very often. I've heard it helps to communicate a lot with the remote partner: email, skype, what have you.

You might try a tag search for "LDR" or "Long-Distance Relationship" ... I'm sure the subject has been discussed on this site before.

That's about all I know, given my limited experience. I hope things get a little easier; maybe you'll even find someone to hang out with in your area?

With sympathy,
Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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