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Old 12-03-2015, 12:32 PM
MountainDancers MountainDancers is offline
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Default Looking for Kate and Leopold in the realm of Polyamory

Bach (he) and Beethoven (she) here to share a little story with you. When we met five years ago, we had both been studying polyamory for several years. Today, we remain captivated by the concept of shared values, homes, reducing our ecological footprint and sharing love, emotional support and affection with other people who come into our inner circle. However, as most "Poly Enthusiasts" have undoubtedly experienced, we are not only in a pro-poly niche market, but are constantly bombarded with centuries-old pent up sexual energy from uncouth members of society that seemingly believe that "orgasm" is the center of their universe. Now as much as we believe that this level of "social awakening" is natural and will eventually find its equilibrium, we personally have a desire to teach, give and receive transparent intimacy.

This place we speak of is certainly not for everyone and can even be an extremely uncomfortable place for people who are not used to letting others into their personal space. And yet, we submit that it is exactly this type of trust & transparency that can ("IF" balanced with genuine kindness & mutual respect) facilitate a path of growth and emotional awareness powerful enough to free us from long-standing emotional blockages... Let's face it folks, not one of us received an owners manual when we arrived on the scene. We are ALL unavoidably, a WORK-IN-PROGRESS...

So, getting back to the story: As a couple, one of our rituals has been to share our favorite movies with one another. Through the laughs and tears we have been inspired by many movies, but one of our favorites remains Kate & Leopold. For us, these two seekers exemplify a pioneering spirit of trust and transparency worthy of taking the like-minded to a new dimension. And so we ask: Must poly seekers find a secret portal to realize their dreams and desires? We think not! However, as many of you have discovered, the realm of poly is still being created, and make no mistake, each subscriber is helping to shape the future...

Are the Kate and Leopold of poly out there? Beethoven and I believe that they are and as we ALL know, relationship is NOT pie in the sky!! It is hard work that requires honesty, mutual respect, cooperation, and perhaps most important of all--- Communication!! So as Beethoven and I keep rolling up our sleeves each day, we continue to look to Kate & Leopold as our heroes...

HUGS & HAPPINESS...
Bach & Beethoven
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  #2  
Old 12-03-2015, 12:51 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is online now
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Wow... What an over romanticized view of polyamory.

Good luck on your search. I hope you find all the unicorns and rainbows you are searching for.
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  #3  
Old 12-03-2015, 01:08 PM
MountainDancers MountainDancers is offline
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Default Without Hope...

“You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.”
― John Lennon


Also, if you are among the percentage of the population that believes that it is actually possible for humans to rise above their own circumstances I invite you to enjoy the following video link by Dr. Brian Hare of Duke University. Thank you for your comment; we wish you well also...

B&B

https://youtu.be/eipgVjGyeyU
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Old 12-03-2015, 11:15 PM
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FallenAngelina FallenAngelina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MountainDancers View Post
" I hope someday you'll join us."
I'm not sure what your point is. Have you looked around this forum?
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Old 12-03-2015, 11:20 PM
Norwegianpoly Norwegianpoly is offline
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I totally believe it is possable to become better people, and that romantic relationships is a big part of the way to do that. Being truely intimate can feel threatening and can take some getting used to. For me it comes very natural, I am not scared of it, and I am realistic about the effort it takes. It is important to ask not for second best - to in life ask for butter instead of margarine. But you should also know the cost difference between butter and margarine and be willing to pay the price.
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Old 12-04-2015, 12:10 AM
MountainDancers MountainDancers is offline
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Thank You Norwegianpoly for being the butter you are a blessing! As for the other comments taking things out of context and only looking at bits and pieces of a post is not very nice. Thanks for being supportive (sarcasm). What part of "It is hard work" did you not understand. As far as taking the John Lennon quote out of context the whole quote refers to being a dreamer and hope you will join the dream. Ok so we want romance, we want transparency and honesty, what is wrong with that. There is no need to be negative. There is way to much of that in the world already. We in the Poly community need to support each other no matter our ideas. It is not like we are looking for Morphine and Chocolate. We are looking for real and depth and as Norwegianpoly stated "Being truely intimate can feel threatening and can take some getting used to." We are willing to pay the price. ~ Beethoven

Last edited by MountainDancers; 12-04-2015 at 12:17 AM.
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Old 12-04-2015, 10:02 AM
Evie Evie is offline
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Hi MountainDancers

Perhaps take some time to read around the forum and understand the high quality of contributions from the frequent posters that you have just aimed your sarcasm at. Nobody actually takes anything out of context here, especially not Angelina, but when you come in with your first post and second posts reading like adverts, well, that's not the most successful approach in here, generally speaking.

I'm sure with your research you are aware that you are describing an intentional community, which is very rare, probably rarer even than triads. There are some people who are part of poly networks, but generally not trying to combine poly with ecological sustainability beyond that of the average city or suburb dweller. You mention Kate and Leopold, but you sound more like Wanderlust would be your cup of tea.

Just because hardly anyone lives in an intentional community doesn't mean we don't experience true intimacy. Now I write that out, I'm actually rather peeved that your rhetoric suggests that your version of transparency, honesty and romance are somehow greater than those who don't live in intentional communities.

So, please, take a look around, read some blogs, some questions, see how they are answered, how people are supported, educated, celebrated with and commiserated with. See how the core members interact with each other, and with noobs, and perhaps you'll find the community you're actually looking for.

ka kite ano
Evie

Last edited by Evie; 12-04-2015 at 05:12 PM.
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Old 12-04-2015, 10:27 AM
tenK tenK is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MountainDancers View Post
We in the Poly community need to support each other no matter our ideas.
I cannot disagree with this enough. If your (or anyone's) idea of polyamory included abuse, coercion, exploitation, dishonesty, stuff we see and hear about all the time, then no. I do not support you. Not everyone's ideas about what polyamory is or isn't are something I would ever be willing to stand behind. That's just…no.

The community you describe is your idyl. It's not mine. I have nothing against your idyl, but it's not for me. I don't think it will achieve the things you hope, and I cannot see the connection between a relationship style (polyamory) and some kind of universal consciousness raising system/ecological movement. (And that isn't a request for more information so I can 'understand'. I am familiar enough with new agey human development philosophies to have some idea of what you believe - I just fundamentally disagree with it).

The nice thing about the world we live in though, is that me seeing your idea as pointless-but-benign does not affect your ability to try and carry it out in practise. So…good luck with that I guess.
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People tenK (bi, f, early 30's) is likely to blabber on about, and why:

Nina (bi, f, late 20's) <- life-partners with tenK; Scandi (hetero, m, early 30's) <- dating/fwb with tenK (on hiatus at the moment); Zymurgist (hetero, m, early 30's) <- dating with tenK; Aries (heteroflex, m, late 40's) <- fwb with tenK and Nina;

Adam (bi, m, early 30's) <- dating/fwb with Nina
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  #9  
Old 12-04-2015, 01:49 PM
MountainDancers MountainDancers is offline
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Default Subjectivism and Human nature

Greetings once again folks, Bach here...

First of all I will let the facts speak for themselves; the John Lennon quote was definitely "taken out of context." That is a fact!! Anyone who would try to prove otherwise is welcome to prove me wrong. Secondly, I didn't know this forum was a "Click." Personally, I think that is tragic.

As far as the idyllic, we very much believe that transparent intimacy (some may call it sacred sexuality) is possible for everyone who wishes to embrace it, but to subjectively minimize its value is also tragic. As the Dr. Brian Hare video (see above link) presents, human behavior remains in the evolutionary stages of growth. Beethoven and I do not claim to have all the answers, but we do strongly believe that higher plateaus of human cooperation are for the taking. I would like to think that we can all help one another with a hand up approach that accentuates the positives. I also believe that the dichotomy between our propensity for help and harm as humans runs a fine line...
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Old 12-04-2015, 02:36 PM
KC43 KC43 is offline
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It isn't a clique. (And the word is "clique", not "click." A "click" is a sound effect.) It's a place where people try to have reasonable, respectful discussions. From your posts, people seem to have gotten the impression that you're saying your way is the best way and everyone else should follow it, which isn't respectful and probably has a lot to do with the responses you've gotten.

You're talking about "higher plateaus" and "transparent intimacy" and such as though you have the one true answer about how to achieve that, and even though it's difficult to judge intent from text, some of what you've said implies that you're *at* a higher plateau than the rest of us because of how you do things. That type of thing may be rubbing some people the wrong way.
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