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  #121  
Old 10-08-2010, 04:34 AM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marksbabygirl View Post
Hmmm I wish. First thing I will need wherever I land on Friday afternoon is a shower
Well if you do decide to stay with us we have one of those!
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  #122  
Old 10-10-2010, 03:46 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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I am loving my life right now.

I made a decision. I put it into action. And I am relaxed, content and happy

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My Journey to Health and Fitness
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  #123  
Old 10-10-2010, 03:47 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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I am loving my life right now.

I made a decision. I put it into action. And I am relaxed, content and happy

Have I ever told you how awesomely vague your posts are ...haha
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  #124  
Old 10-10-2010, 03:49 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Have I ever told you how awesomely vague your posts are ...haha
Awesomely vague. I love it.

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  #125  
Old 10-10-2010, 04:27 PM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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What Ari said...spill the plan lady
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  #126  
Old 10-12-2010, 02:54 AM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
What Ari said...spill the plan lady
There's no real "plan"

I've been doing a lot of reading lately. Books, forums, and absorbing.

Love is a choice.

Happiness is a choice.

I have learned more about who I am - I don't know exactly where I fit on the non-monogamy spectrum - but I did figure out where my issues come from.

Regardless of where I personally end up - I know that I love my husband and that he loves me and his feelings for anyone else don't supercede that - they add to it.

And sometimes regardless of my feelings and twisty-ness - I need to make the choice to be loving, to be happy. I made that choice this weekend. Its been amazing.

We managed to have a conversation this morning - was a potential minefield.

At the end of the conversation I didn't have what *I* needed - and both of us were somewhat uncomfortable - but we had the conversation without yelling, screaming, crying or serious stress. It was amazing. It was awesome.

I know that time and successes will give me what I need. And I'm patient enough to wait for it
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  #127  
Old 10-13-2010, 03:16 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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I'm sick. I'm in that inbetween place where I could tough it out, go to work and hope to hell I don't get worse or stay home and take care of myself.

P & W had plans for a visit today at our house.

The basics of it all were if I was at work, she was coming over, but if I was at home, she wasn't. So I felt conflicted about taking the time I needed to get well because it would mess up their plans for the day.

I know, logically, that the conflict is all internal. But I, little miss subbie people pleaser, do not want to disappoint or upset others.

He assured me that I need to just do what I need to do and feel comfortable staying home if I need to. Its my home. I don't take days off *just because* I go to work sick, tired, and when I shouldn't. So for me to take a day off - I really am sick.

I still feel bad though. Just not bad enough to force myself to go to work
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  #128  
Old 10-16-2010, 03:08 AM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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I am... sad.

I don't know why...

I'm snuggled up on my couch with my hubby and my youngest boy watching a movie and eating popcorn.

And I"m sad. I have been feeling a pervasive sadness for several days.

I am making some changes, clearing up some clutter, and hoping that I can clear the mental clutter as well.

*sigh*
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I believe that happiness is something we create


My Journey to Health and Fitness
My Journey as a Widow

Jane
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  #129  
Old 10-16-2010, 03:13 AM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Maybe it has something to do with being sick. Wait till the sick passes and see if you're less sad when you feel well. <big hugs>
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  #130  
Old 10-16-2010, 03:40 AM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Thanks Derby.

I will give it some time - could be just being sick. Plus a few things that happened over the last few days.

I cleared 2 1/2 garbage bags of clothes out of my closet and dresser today. All clothes I didn't like, didn't fit or didn't want.

10 minutes later - someone picked them up - no chance of them making their way back into my closet :P

Put away all my clothes - in one dresser and the closet. Can totally declutter an entire dresser tomorrow
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I believe that happiness is something we create


My Journey to Health and Fitness
My Journey as a Widow

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