Blog of a Former Unicorn

[anotherbo]

Originally Posted by FormerUnicorn

Actually, he was up here recently, and I missed him completely! I tried texting and calling several times, but I must have had the wrong number or something. I feel bad to leave him wondering.

Ah, sorry you couldn't get through, don't know what happened there. But I wasn't left wondering, I knew you had a busy day planned and didn't expect to hear from you. In any case, the timetable of my trip turned out to be very tight, and then I was up til 6am talking to a new friend! She lives in Anchorage, but unfortunately she is moving to Washington within a couple weeks.

Originally Posted by lamnidae

Well, if I am ever in Homer or you ever find yourself in the valley.... coffee can be had! I absolutely hear you though. It can be hard to find people up here who understand what you are living.

I'd love to do that Lamnidae. Do you ever come to Homer? Lots of folks from other parts of AK vacation here.

I might make one more trip up your way in the next week or so, to see my new friend before she moves. If so, I'd love to meet up with you in the valley the next day, your schedule permitting. And maybe Formerunicorn and/or Mr. Unicorn would be able to make it too!


Anotherbo

P.S. Glad to hear you had such a restful yet fulfilling weekend, Formerunicorn.

[lamnidae]

Not really. But, if you are headed this way let me know. My schedule is a little bit bananas as I am starting a new job this week, but I would love to try to meet up. And it would be lovely if others could make it to. Mini support group moment and all

Originally Posted by anotherbo

Ah, sorry you couldn't get through, don't know what happened there. But I wasn't left wondering, I knew you had a busy day planned and didn't expect to hear from you. In any case, the timetable of my trip turned out to be very tight, and then I was up til 6am talking to a new friend! She lives in Anchorage, but unfortunately she is moving to Washington within a couple weeks.




I'd love to do that Lamnidae. Do you ever come to Homer? Lots of folks from other parts of AK vacation here.

I might make one more trip up your way in the next week or so, to see my new friend before she moves. If so, I'd love to meet up with you in the valley the next day, your schedule permitting. And maybe Formerunicorn and/or Mr. Unicorn would be able to make it too!


Anotherbo

P.S. Glad to hear you had such a restful yet fulfilling weekend, Formerunicorn.

[anotherbo]

Originally Posted by FormerUnicorn

I had run myself ragged with this whole new "being social again" experience. Took me a while to catch up on the sleep, which explains my absence from the forums. I am still having a blast.

I was having a problem though. On OKCupid, there's a profile section called "What I'm doing with my life." and I really, truly had no idea what to say. It was even worse when people asked me questions relating to that. I was sort of like... uh... I dunno. Not that I felt intimidated by the existential nature of the question, it's just that I was firmly in a transition phase, and the answer really was "building new relationships and working on being a better person" which is not a small thing, but does not tend to lend itself well to easy conversation that refrains from getting too philosophical or personal.

Also, the question of "what do you do for fun?" or "what have you done lately" sort of ate at me, because my answer was essentially the same: building new relationships and working on being a better person. I was truly passionate about it during the transition phase, and it was the only thing I was really focused on doing, the only thing my brain was ticking away at during the quiet moments. Sure there were things I *liked* to do, but there wasn't anything I was currently doing that seemed appropriate for new conversation.

I think I'm finally over this hump. I'm finally making time for the sleep I need, and there's much more balance in my life. And funnily enough, my life just got much more interesting. I certainly have no lack of things to talk about anymore. Take my weekend, for example:

I had a very busy weekend that still managed to feel low key. On Friday, my husband and I hiked Thunderbird Falls for the first time. The weather was beautiful, and there were mushrooms everywhere. I saw the biggest devil's club leaves there, huge things nearly two and a half feet across. They were almost big enough to be umbrellas!

Saturday I signed up for a gym membership, made some jam with a friend, and put together some new bookshelves and rearranged furniture. Sunday we spent the day at the State Fair, and even though it was raining, I wore a bright green coat and a flower in my hair and felt cheery in defiance of the weather. We had a lot of fun this year, got nearly everything on my shopping list, and even saw the guy who was free-flying exotic birds. That was very cool, especially since we have so many scary predator birds around that could have frightened them off. We stopped and picked up some movies on the way home and had a quiet evening.

Monday was both relaxing and productive. I finally got the part to fix my spinning wheel, so I took it out of storage and refamiliarized myself with it. It's been out of commission for over a year, and I had forgotten how much I truly enjoyed the meditative qualities of making yarn. I'm interested in getting my business up and running again, but we'll have to see what shape those plans take.

The most important part is that I really felt like I reconnected with my husband. I had somehow gotten into the habit of thinking he didn't like to do any of the things I liked to do, so I didn't ever ask him to do anything with me. No wonder I was so desperate to get out! We've had a wonderful time doing things together again, and I won't let it slip through the cracks like that in the future.

We had a very fulfilling talk about sex on Saturday night. Suffice to say that I had been really pushing aside my needs and that I needed help enforcing the fact that I needed certain things in order to feel fulfilled. Sexytimes ensued where he was a ruthless enforcer, and we got to bed several hours late (*cough* 4am). That probably did more to make me feel better than any amount of talking could have done.

All in all things have been fabulous.

Every bit of this sounds wonderful! Especially reconnecting so strongly with your husband again! And finding more balance (and sleep). And having such a productive, fulfilling, active weekend that still managed to feel relaxing (or at least on Monday). So glad to hear things have been fabulous. Kudos and hugs!


Anotherbo

[FormerUnicorn]

My life is so incredibly full right now, and it seems when it rains, it pours! Wow!

When I have a little time to catch my breath I'll get another good post in. Stay tuned!

[FormerUnicorn]

This is a feature of the blog called Headlines. I'll throw it out every now and again, and it's simply a collection of small blurbs about what's been going on with little to no narrative structure. I'm introducing this now because I am so happy I can barely compose myself in order to write. Cause, you know, I get excited like that. I'm just generally pleased with life at the moment. And also, cool stuff. So yes. Here we go.

First Date + Compersion = Frikkin' Sweet!

Went on a first date with a Really Cool Guy who may or may not be joining the forums. We ended up having lunch with my husband about two hours into the date, whereupon the two of them had a private moment refilling their drinks that went something like: "Wow, she's really smart." "Yeah, I know. Isn't it great?" "Yeah!"

That is in fact not the only opinion RCG and my husband seem to share. Later on in the evening when we had met back up at the house, I lost the both of them for a total of two hours (out of a 15 hour date) while they were off geeking out together. I was left sitting in the living room with the dog going, "Wait just a minute!" But there was no way in hell I was going to interrupt that sort of bonding.

Also during a moment that we were alone, my husband was teasing me about making kissy face with RCG, cause we had been snuggling on the loveseat all evening. When RCG came back into the room, Mr. Unicorn even teased him about how it had gotten REEEEALLY quiet out in the living room earlier and that he had an aha moment as to why.

There was a lot of kissyface. And he smells really good.

We also saw the most incredible night sky. Cloudless, moonless, with a fog over the nearest city that was holding in all the light. The sky has never felt so big, nor the stars so close. I got to be amazed with RCG before we got distracted, and when I came home again, I went out and marveled at it again with Mr. Unicorn. We stayed out until the fog rolled in.

RCG said he had been carrying around so much stress for the last month until he got to our house. He said he just felt comfortable and like he was able to relax. He said he had an eye twitch that completely melted away.

As I was saying goodnight to RCG, he told me to tell Mr. Unicorn: "Tell him thank you, and that I'll have to bring that video game out the next time I come." I can't for the life of me decide which part is more awesome.

The next day I was all happy and laughing at everything with secret smiles as I remembered my evening. Mr. Unicorn told me to thank RCG for making me into a giggly girl.

I want to go visit MarksBabyGirl, and I might get to do so in May! I dunno if it's kosher to say that aloud, but it's MY blog and I can be excited about the prospect if I want! I just think she's awesome. Ha.

Also, I just got asked out on another date, just now. It's certainly busy around here!

[marksbabygirl]

Originally Posted by FormerUnicorn

I want to go visit MarksBabyGirl, and I might get to do so in May! I dunno if it's kosher to say that aloud, but it's MY blog and I can be excited about the prospect if I want! I just think she's awesome. Ha.

ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO!!! I'm excited about it TOO!!!!

And I think you're pretty awesome

Sounds like a pretty freaking awesome day - I'm happy for you

[FormerUnicorn]

So RCG has joined the forums as Ulysses, welcome! I feel honored to be his introduction into poly. Mostly, I'm just happy to have made such an interesting new friend. He's going to be away for a few weeks and there are a lot of new developments in his life, so we'll see how things go.

Throughout all the emotional craziness with Seth and the intensity of my connection with Ulysses, I've also been talking with a guy I'll call Zen, because he's been quiet and consistent and manages to calm me down at the end of many a busy day. I've never met someone who is such a good listener in my life. Even over a chat program he just exudes calm. And he seems genuinely interested in me. I was tickled pink recently when he told me he just likes to hear me talk about my day. It feels so nice. From what I understand he's from a very conservatively christian background, so I've been hugely surprised that he's open to seeing where things might go. He's been very supportive and sweet, and I look forward to his gentle texts and messages every day.

Zen is VERY tall. Every time I've seen him he's been in uniform, and with his boots on he's nearly six seven. I thought I washed my hands of men who were that tall years ago when I was dating a guy who was the same height as Zen. I didn't like the fact that I couldn't easily kiss him... I had to pull him down to kiss me as if I were a child, and he wore sandals everywhere! But I guess I might be making an exception here. We're nowhere near kissing yet, but so far just his smile is enough.

The thing I like most about Zen is that when I brought up the fact that I spin wool into yarn, he didn't give me the "oh, that's interesting" line. He says he knows how to crochet and was actually asking me intelligent questions and said he would like to learn how it's done. I told him that I would be extremely happy to show him how it works and to teach him the basics whenever he had the time to come out for a few hours.

I guess I'm just appreciating his calmness and focus at a time that I seem to really need it. I can't wait to meet with him again soon.

[FormerUnicorn]

I posted that query late Sunday night wondering about how much to initiate conversation with new people. Happily, I got some advice that gave me some much needed perspective, and I feel much better about the whole thing.

Monday was one hell of a great day. Despite my worried post, I ended up receiving over fifty texts over the course of the workday, including some from the lovely MBG who brightened up my lunchtime with her happy self.

While I heard from about seven different people, most of them were from Zen. He kept up a steady stream of texts throughout my workday, and sometime late last night he finally worked up the courage to see if I was free this weekend. I was more than happy to bequeath Sunday to him, and if plans hold, I'll be driving into Anchorage for a day of mystery and intrigue.

Even today he was no slouch on the phone. Zen made me laugh all day, calling me a Russian spy, and teasing me about various things. I needed it too, as I have been feeling slight bouts of vertigo lately. Not too worrisome, but still something to keep an eye on.

The biggest surprise is that last night I ended up talking on the phone with a guy off of OKC who had messaged me sometime in April (pre-poly talk with Mr. Unicorn) and I had very nicely turned him down. I was going through my old messages, saw his, revisited his profile, and decided to respond again. He replied back very shortly, and we started chatting.

We realized rather quickly that sometime in early August I had exchanged some messages of tentative interest with his wife, who has been out of town all summer. We both thought that was rather cool, and I was having some problems with the messenger, so he ended up calling. What ensued was the loudest, most hilarious phone call I think I've ever been on, as we were one-upping each other with stories of how stupid people can be. I haven't laughed that hard in a very, very long time. I hope at the very least that I become friends with these people, because they're both very cool.

Ulysses was going to come over and help me can tomatoes tonight, but it turns out he can't make it, and though I'm sad I don't get to see him, I'm rather glad, as I don't really feel well enough to be working in a hot, steamy kitchen. I'll can this batch later this week and we'll have to try again once he gets back from his trip.

Mr. Unicorn, who I have determined will always be the coolest guy in my universe, took me out on a sushi date last night, one that we had planned, but that I had completely forgotten about. So it was a surprise for me, and we had a great time. He also helped me stay on track while we shopped for some additional canning supplies, and even brought everything in and put it all away. He's so great!

[FormerUnicorn]

Hands down my favorite exchange from my phone call tonight would have to be:

Me: Usually I go out for coffee when meeting someone for the first time, but the shooting range works too! How very... Alaskan.

Him: We can go grab some coffee too, I like coffee!

Me: Coffee first, please. I don't want to be licking cordite and whipped cream off of my fingers.

[lamnidae]

Things sound busy and awesome in unicorn land! I hope you enjoy coffee and shooting (in that order)