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View Poll Results: Is masturbation sex?
I'm a woman and I vote yes 28 24.14%
I'm a woman and I vote no 28 24.14%
I'm a man and I voted yes 16 13.79%
I'm a man and I vote no 25 21.55%
I'm gender-variant and I vote yes 1 0.86%
I'm gender-variant and I vote no 1 0.86%
Magical brownies 17 14.66%
Voters: 116. You may not vote on this poll

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  #21  
Old 07-08-2010, 08:12 PM
immaterial immaterial is offline
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This is a very interesting thread. I wish there were more responses. I really think it is a very odd topic. Where does sex begin? I've known folks who actually believe sucking cock is not sex. Anal penetration by a penis is not sex. Handjobs are not sex. Giving oneself a handjob is not sex. Etc.

Then there are those who seem to think these behaviors are sex, but they don't constitute a breaking of commitment.

I used to go to erotic massage places and get handjobs. I did this when I was in "committed monogamous relationships." I think part of my rationale was that it wasn't sex. How convenient! Really, it doesn't matter what label I put on a behavior. It's about open, honest, ethical communication.

Lots of trouble with one of my sig others started when she "caught" me masturbating. I thought she had left the house and I was getting off and she heard me. (I can be kind of loud). For her, it was real betrayal. For me, it was a source of deep resentment, a feeling I had no privacy in my own home. These sorts of collisions are the stuff of relationship catastrophe. She gets to feel betrayed by my autoerotic sex life and I get to feel pissed off at her for violating my privacy. Ugh.

If I look at porn and get turned on, is that betrayal? If I fuck someone else but think about you the entire time, dear, is that commitment? :-)

Immaterial
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  #22  
Old 07-08-2010, 08:34 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by immaterial View Post
This is a very interesting thread. I wish there were more responses. I really think it is a very odd topic. Where does sex begin? I've known folks who actually believe sucking cock is not sex. Anal penetration by a penis is not sex. Handjobs are not sex. Giving oneself a handjob is not sex. Etc.
I see this too, however usually from younger people. Sex for me is black and white simple. Masturbation is not, with a partner it is. I have gone weekends without intercourse but had lots of sex. intercourse is part of sex, but sex does not require intercourse. In my little world, it is simple.

The rest of your list gets into commitment which is different for every partnership.

Honestly, for me this is simply too, if you do something behind the back of your partner, that is sexual and you know it won't be an approved act, you are cheating. If you are with someone who views masturbation as cheating...then it is cheating. Do I agree, no, but you are in a partnership agreement with someone who is really strict sexually.

ps, you might want to start renegotiating QUICKLY if thats actually the case. :P
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  #23  
Old 07-08-2010, 08:42 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by immaterial View Post
This is a very interesting thread. I wish there were more responses.
Me too! Thank you for responding.

Quote:
I really think it is a very odd topic. Where does sex begin? I've known folks who actually believe sucking cock is not sex. Anal penetration by a penis is not sex. Handjobs are not sex. Giving oneself a handjob is not sex. Etc.
Maybe it goes back to Bill Clinton and all the abstinence sex ed classes?

Anything but full intercourse w your partner is not sex? and we'll then take advantage of that loophole?




Quote:
Then there are those who seem to think these behaviors are sex, but they don't constitute a breaking of commitment.

I used to go to erotic massage places and get handjobs. I did this when I was in "committed monogamous relationships." I think part of my rationale was that it wasn't sex. How convenient!
There's that loophole.
Quote:
Really, it doesn't matter what label I put on a behavior. It's about open, honest, ethical communication.

Lots of trouble with one of my sig others started when she "caught" me masturbating. I thought she had left the house and I was getting off and she heard me. (I can be kind of loud). For her, it was real betrayal. For me, it was a source of deep resentment, a feeling I had no privacy in my own home. These sorts of collisions are the stuff of relationship catastrophe. She gets to feel betrayed by my autoerotic sex life and I get to feel pissed off at her for violating my privacy. Ugh.
Oh man. I have to say, my ex-h and I had somewhat similar issues. Masturbation is shameful and shouldnt be necessary when youre in a relationship?

Bullshit, I say. Sometimes one just wants self pleasure and not the whole song and dance w a partner. No matter how good the sex is with them.

Quote:
If I look at porn and get turned on, is that betrayal?
Not in my book!

Quote:
If I fuck someone else but think about you the entire time, dear, is that commitment? :-)

Immaterial
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  #24  
Old 07-08-2010, 08:46 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
What exactly are you wondering?
Just wondering if the Os a circed guy gets are so underwhelming, esp when jerking off quickly, he doesnt count it as sex.

I guess then, if one jerked off next to a partner who was also jerking or jilling off, it would be sex?

BTW, I never jill off without a fantasy or 3 in my head. They used to be elaborate made up things, but since I've been dating the last cpl yrs, I usually think of the last time I did have sex w a partner... or the last few times, with this or that person.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

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miss pixi, 37
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  #25  
Old 07-08-2010, 08:58 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Just wondering if the Os a circed guy gets are so underwhelming, esp when jerking off quickly, he doesnt count it as sex.

I guess then, if one jerked off next to a partner who was also jerking or jilling off, it would be sex?

BTW, I never jill off without a fantasy or 3 in my head. They used to be elaborate made up things, but since I've been dating the last cpl yrs, I usually think of the last time I did have sex w a partner... or the last few times, with this or that person.
I am uncut, exceptionally sensitive and ... well ya I will leave it there tmi...Masturbation isn't sex ...

I can sometimes do it without a fantasy, sometimes it a stiff breeze. Self pleasure is rarely actually erotic for me. Most of the time it is nothing more than a bodily function. I also arouse really easily and often...so it could be that. Who knows.

I wonder if my opinion would change if I had an extended period without sex. I haven't gone 1 month without sex since I was 17...I am not even sure I want to try ahhaa
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  #26  
Old 07-08-2010, 09:23 PM
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sdguy sdguy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
I can sometimes do it without a fantasy, sometimes it a stiff breeze. Self pleasure is rarely actually erotic for me. Most of the time it is nothing more than a bodily function. I also arouse really easily and often...so it could be that. Who knows.
I see it a lot in the same way. It often is not about eroticism as much as function. Sometimes it is for relief, or boredom, or just because I felt like it. Now don't get me wrong, there are definitely times it is erotic, or there is fantasy involved, but it still isn't sex in my book.
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  #27  
Old 07-08-2010, 09:34 PM
RGee91 RGee91 is offline
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Lightbulb interesting

Well I answerred Magical Brownies (I wanted ever so badly to answer "Male" and "No" but those darn magical brownies wouldn't stop calling my name lol)

This is actually a good topic, it reminds me of a conversation I had with an ex a very long time ago, in which he was trying to convince me that if I loved him, we would be having sex which led me to ask myself "Why do so many people think the only way to 'make love' is to have sex?" I personally think that there are alot more ways to make love then simply sex... but I'm getting off topic

Here's why I don't believe masturbation is sex, sex (in my opinion anyway) involves another person, now if you're masturbating with another person, or masturbating another person then yes, that is sex. But self pleasure is simply that, self pleasure. If I scratch an itch, it feel's pleasurable to get rid of the bad feeling. If I get aroused and... take the measures necessary to calm the impending threat then I'm also simply causing a pleasurable feeling by getting rid of another. To say solo masturbation is sex, at least to me, is the same as saying scratching an itch is sex, or as someone said earlier, putting my finger in my mouth would be giving myself oral.

While it is pleasurable, so is playing videogames... omg playing videogames is sex!!! lol jk

and to respond to an earlier discussion, the difference between orgasm and cumming (or as we say in memphis, "busting a nut" ) is that when you have an orgasm you feel it through your entire body, it's an amazing experience of euphoria and just damn awesome feelings. It's a combination of your body's reaction to the physical sensations along with your mind's reaction to the person you're with, causing your brain to tell your entire body "FEEL GOOD DAMNIT" lol. Where as busting a nut is simply... releasing sperm... or at least that's how i see it... it's almost impossible for me to orgasm solo, unless I have a really deep and sexy fantasy going on in my head... and even then it's still not sex, just really awesome masturbation
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  #28  
Old 07-08-2010, 10:06 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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I voted for the brownies because they are more fattening than masturbation.
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  #29  
Old 07-08-2010, 10:15 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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I'll take



personally. Pengrah is a pastry chef and makes a kille molten lava cake
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  #30  
Old 07-08-2010, 10:26 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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I'll take



personally. Pengrah is a pastry chef and makes a kille molten lava cake
The real poll should be:

Is food-porn sex?
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