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View Poll Results: Is masturbation sex?
I'm a woman and I vote yes 28 24.14%
I'm a woman and I vote no 28 24.14%
I'm a man and I voted yes 16 13.79%
I'm a man and I vote no 25 21.55%
I'm gender-variant and I vote yes 1 0.86%
I'm gender-variant and I vote no 1 0.86%
Magical brownies 17 14.66%
Voters: 116. You may not vote on this poll

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  #101  
Old 09-13-2010, 02:45 AM
eskimo eskimo is offline
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Sex with yourself is still sex in my book.

Whether it's your hand, a toy or another person, it's still all sex.
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  #102  
Old 09-13-2010, 03:07 AM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Sort of off topic but due to the fact that I haven't had a lot of sex in the past year with an actual person I find that my body is out of practice with reaching orgasm without toys (being that I use them when I'm alone) and then I worry about it which just makes things take even longer. So for the next little while I'm putting the toys away and I'm going to relearn how to have sex with myself without them . (sorry for the tmi for all those out there who I know in person).
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  #103  
Old 09-13-2010, 10:38 PM
anotherbo anotherbo is offline
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That's an interesting problem to find yourself with, Derby, and an interesting solution. It always feels a little off-kilter when you start having sex with another after a drought, in my experience.

And my experience with this phenomenon is considerable! I'll keep it short since it this is definitely off topic, but my sex life has very much been feast or famine, mostly due to my bipolar disorder I think. On one end of the pole, my libido and attractiveness are very low, and on the other end they are very high, especially if it's a sustained high or low.

So when I'm approaching a feast time, I find I'm continually conflicted. Casual sex seems unattractive in that, I'm usually not excited about it, and I'm a bit nervous that it might not be very good sex, mostly due to my own rustiness. Sex with someone I'm really into emotionally is also problematic: I'm very much wanting that sex, but uncomfortable about giving a bad first impression sexually, again due to rust.

And the option that works best for me, sex with someone I'm into, but not really that into, seems unfair to my new sex partner and leaves me feeling like an asshole. I feel like I'm getting someone else's hopes up, when I know inside myself, I'll be moving on shortly.

Well, I guess that wasn't too short after all.

Maybe this subject of restarting your sex life with others after a long time being sexually alone (or mostly alone) merits its own thread.


Anotherbo

Last edited by anotherbo; 09-13-2010 at 10:41 PM.
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  #104  
Old 09-14-2010, 12:02 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is online now
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You get rusty after a sex drought?

*gets lube*

*maybe WD40*
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  #105  
Old 09-14-2010, 02:04 PM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
You get rusty after a sex drought?

*gets lube*

*maybe WD40*
I'm glad that it hasn't been so infrequent that I need WD40!
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  #106  
Old 09-14-2010, 05:06 PM
freeantigone freeantigone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
You get rusty after a sex drought?

*gets lube*

*maybe WD40*
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  #107  
Old 09-20-2010, 09:13 PM
anotherbo anotherbo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
You get rusty after a sex drought?

*gets lube*

*maybe WD40*
Seems my problem is worse than I realized.

I bought the WD-40, but I couldn't remember where to put it...


Anotherbo
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  #108  
Old 09-20-2010, 09:47 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anotherbo View Post
Seems my problem is worse than I realized.

I bought the WD-40, but I couldn't remember where to put it...


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Just listen for the squeek
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  #109  
Old 09-21-2010, 02:57 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is online now
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Tim Man: Oil can. Oil can!
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me: Mags, 58, living with:
miss pixi, 37, who is dating (NRE):
Master, 32
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  #110  
Old 09-24-2010, 11:49 PM
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MsKtty89 MsKtty89 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
Sort of off topic but due to the fact that I haven't had a lot of sex in the past year with an actual person I find that my body is out of practice with reaching orgasm without toys (being that I use them when I'm alone) and then I worry about it which just makes things take even longer. So for the next little while I'm putting the toys away and I'm going to relearn how to have sex with myself without them . (sorry for the tmi for all those out there who I know in person).
I honestly can't climax without toys when by myself, but with my partner(s), I can get off 3/4 the time (I can be a toughy, I'll admit). I personally think it's more the worry that is causing an issue than the actual toys. If I'm distracted or worrying about something during sex, I can't get off. If I'm focused on how awesome my partner is (not just sexual performance, but also how they are acting, coming on to me, etc.), then I am usually good to go.

And if it helps any, I worked at an "adult bookstore" for two years and own a thing or two, as well as use those things on average twice a day, every day.

Not saying it's bad to relearn to go it purely alone, just saying you should just relax a bit!

Sorry to support the off-topic post...
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