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Old 10-07-2013, 06:57 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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A few more comments relating to the discussions on this thread can be found at:
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...450#post235450

I think the biggest insight I have gained from this thread is the idea that African Americans probably practice quite a bit of polyamory, just without calling it by that name. I am also thinking if you're black, you're more likely to want to be discreet about your non-traditional romantic practices. Reason being, you're already discriminated against because of your race; why add additional discrimination because of your life choices? So the advantage of an archtypical white polyamorist is that he/she can officially call himself a polyamorist, and feel comfortable getting together with others who share that moniker for formal poly events such as potlucks or whatever.

Even if that white polyamorist is closeted to his family, co-workers, and/or conventional friends, he/she still feels comfortable being a part of a formal, well, local poly community (and poly forums as well). It (perhaps) feels safe to wear an unconventional label when you're not already branded with a race label.

Granted I'm drawing a lot of intuitive conclusions here with zero empirical data. Do many black folks get together and have "poly potlucks" without calling them that? I wonder.

Since everyone here doesn't agree on whether "subconscious prejudice" is a thing, or a thing worth examining, I won't try to resolve that argument. I will muse that maybe I dodged the bullet? I find black people to be pretty attractive on average. I'll never forget one black lady in particular with whom I fell instantly in love, and would have asked her out in a heartbeat had the situation made it possible. But wait, does that mean I have another kind of subconscious prejudice? some type of a fetish where I want to "steal black women from the black men to whom they belong?" Uhh, well, I don't know. I just know I like to see differing races get together, mingle, talk, listen, date, marry, etc.

I think maybe my problem is just that I fall in love too easily. It's happened many times before -- when I was growing up in Utah, a state where you do not see many African Americans for some strange reason. What I mean is, my heart has gone thump-thump for quite a few white girls as well.

Getting back on topic, I think my concern is less that I'd like to see black and white polyamorists get together more, but rather, that I'd like to see black and white people of all romantic persuasions get together more. I think it is a bit of a pipe dream. That racial divide is still very deep. How can we get together if we can't even communicate across that divide? Perhaps we need a special website for different races getting together to talk. Since I'm a computer dunce, I'll hope someone out there with the know-how will volunteer to do the job. Or has the job been done/tried already? When will the time be right?
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  #62  
Old 10-14-2013, 02:17 AM
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See also http://polyamoryonline.org/smf/index...61320#msg61320 on Polyamorous Percolations for a few more posts.
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