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  #11  
Old 05-28-2009, 11:46 PM
PlanetPurple PlanetPurple is offline
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Update: He's not been ignoring me after all. There was/is an emergency at work which has been taking all his time and energy. Says he is not put off or upset by the arrangement I am suggesting. He just needs to get the work issue resolved before he can give the discussion of 'us' the attention it deserves. Whew! So...we shall see...
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  #12  
Old 08-02-2009, 09:18 PM
Twinkle Twinkle is offline
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Well, I am pretty new here, so I hope it is ok for me to put my two cents in. I believe that it is always best to find out if someone can accept you for who you are upfront, than to lose them later due to a misunderstanding after much emotional investment has taken place. If a person is not able to accept you for who you are or even (much in my case) understand who you are than there could never be a relationship of any value regardless of if the news strikes early or late.

I would also take carful consideration into talking someone into being honest with their spouse. It may be worthwhile to direct them to new ideas, but convincing them to do something that could put them at a loss could potentially put you in a difficult position.
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  #13  
Old 08-03-2009, 03:13 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Personally I would never involve my self with someone wanting to have an affair on their wife. I don't care what his situation is, he is being deceitful and causing major damage. Cheating is the worst form of hurt I can think of. It depletes a persons self esteem, makes them feel alone, unloved, unworthy of love and corrodes their trust in everyone around them. it spreads further than you might think.... I have suffered because of Mono (a member of this sight that I have a relationship with) having cheated and that relationship is over! I'm sorry, I would dump the bastard and start again with someone new.... why you would want to be a part of that energy is beyond me. And you have been before???!!! Shame on you! At the very least I would dump him for a period of time until he and his wife have worked out an arrangement for them to get their needs met.
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  #14  
Old 08-03-2009, 03:22 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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By the way, I have cheated on someone before and it has damaged me... they never knew, but it changed how I thought of myself. That has never gone away.

Not only that, I have also been the woman that someone cheated with. He told me that she knew what was going on, and she did, but not the extend of it or that he was seeing me regularly, just that he had had a one night stand. It blew their marriage apart and I got dumped hard. I hope they patched it up, but I never want to cause that kind of pain again.
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