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Old 07-15-2011, 10:50 PM
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July 15th. Seems like as good a day as any to begin. For the rest of July I will not have even a single drop of alcohol, nor will I smoke a single cigarette. And I will sit in meditation twice a day, morning and evening, every day -- no excuses. And I will eat only food that is healthy and good for my energy.

My pattern is to drink in the evenings. I'm not an alcoholic, but I'm a lazy sonofabitch, and drinking every evening and having one or two or three cigarettes, also only in the evening (except when Russell comes over, sheesh!), is a lazy cycle for me that leads to further laziness and a general 'ah, fuck it' attitude.

While we're at it, I'll not watch half as much television as I have been, which has been very, very little anyway.

All of these things I will be doing without beating myself up at all, nor will it be motivated by shame, guilt, fear, or any other useless delusions.

I am going to breathe my heart into fuller wakefulness. Or, rather, I will be held in the loving embrace of spirits, elves, dwarves, starlight, fresh spinach leaves, carrots, my dear friends and loves/lovers of the human kind, and the general freaking mystery of it all.

I welcome metta from you, dear reader, as well. (Google it.) Hold me in your loving thoughts and sensations. This should be sensational. And just the beginning. For August is looking pretty juicy, too.
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Old 07-22-2011, 09:39 PM
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July, 22. - - - Not drinking or smoking has turned out to be remarkably easy, pretty smooth. And I feel great! Well, I've had a crazy detox process going on, which is the probabable cause of the horrible and frightening constipation episode I just got through, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually, this is easy as pie. And I feel all kinds of healing happening.

I no longer need crutches, nor do I want them. This is amazing, looking in the rear view mirror.

I had a bout of great sadness while having lunch with my Sweetie today. Sadness about a very dear friend (and long ago lover, of sorts) being in so much emotional suffering, and feeling stuck, seeing no way beyond it. But today my sadness was my friend, not an unfortunate condition or something to be pushed away. I welcome my sadness in the way a river flows. I welcome it like weather. This is remarkable, looking at it in the rear view mirror.

My sadness feels like free-flowing love. My sadness is joy and peace! My sadness is liberated! This is remarkable! Looking at it in the rear view mirror.

I've been continually happy for week after week after week! I am a happy man -- a happy man who occasionally experiences sadness or fear or pain. But happy is the base line. It is where I live. It is my home.

And this is my gift ... to all. My healing and growth is what I breathe, what I give.

I'm so in love with life! So, so happy!

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showp...&postcount=296
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Last edited by River; 07-22-2011 at 11:48 PM.
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  #83  
Old 07-23-2011, 12:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by River View Post
July, 22. - - - looking at it in the rear view mirror.

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showp...&postcount=296
This is GREAT!!!!...says a lot
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Old 07-23-2011, 03:16 PM
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Thanks, BEV.

Hey? Where are my kisses and hugs? C'mon people!
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Old 07-23-2011, 03:41 PM
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Default The Squeaky Wheel Gets the Grease

(Not sure how to spel sqweeky.)

I'm not looking to get greased up, anyway. Just give me some lovin'. Geeze. You think it's easy being so happy?!? This is rough. Now give me some lovin', peeps.

You'd think an extraordinarily happy person carried the freaking plague round here! (Ten foot pole, anyone?)

....

How happy am I? I'm happy to overspilling, near to bursting! And some of the icing on the cake (I'm the cake!, see) is that Derek, my long lost love, is coming to my neck of the woods this very summer! In large part to see me and spend time with me -- after we've been out of communication for 16-17 years.

Now, of course, when I call him my long lost love and the rest of it, don't think I think we're going to be lovers. I have no such (or any) expectations -- though I'm open to it. I'm just delighted beyond measure that we'll get to spend time within reaching distance for a hug! Maybe we'll sleep out under the stars and talk late into the night. Or share a cup of tea, or wander the streets like blowing tumbleweeds.... Any of these possibilities are freaking awesome!

I've entered a new world beyond lack. Nothing is missing or lacking. There is only now overspilling ... and how much? I freaking love overspilling! But, anyway, I don't grasp anymore. I invite. I welcome. I allow. Nothing is lacking, so there's no other way. As I said, I love overspilling -- but I am not attached to it. Attachment is suffering, and suffering especially I am unattached to.

Joy is knowing how and when to set your sails.

===

Okay, Darlings! Forget the grease, give me some lovin'. I want to overspill some.
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  #86  
Old 07-23-2011, 08:52 PM
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HAAALLOOOO!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHWBZAPXNfk




and this is a present
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQSNhk5ICTI

(..but..maybe you have it already... well, we can change it... )

a hug, sweetheart, take care
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  #87  
Old 07-23-2011, 10:39 PM
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Thanks, Darlin'!

That Double Rainbow Guy has it right! He has awe! Life is that awesome! It'll ring all our bells if we will let it. Good thing he's vulnerable to a breeze on his skin, this fellow.

It said his little video had 29,181,748 views. Wow!
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Old 07-24-2011, 01:08 PM
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i felt putting here a (last) link to celebrate Joy and Happiness in Sharing; it's a dance (that everyone can easily learn) i like very much and it is sweet and funny and re-charging sharing it with some dancing friends:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUwYJrjLGqs

bye
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Old 07-24-2011, 02:57 PM
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Thanks, Neegoola! I do love Kali Ma.
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Old 07-24-2011, 09:24 PM
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Default Rough Sketch Fragments Toward A Probable Future Essay

Naked, Nekkid, Naiked...
"The joyous task which confronts an ethic of spontaneity, however difficult it may be, is quite literally to woo people out of their armed shells."

-Alan Watts
An infant is naturally spontaneous and authentic. Who has ever seen an armored and mask-wearing baby? Yet, inevitably, the infant becomes a child and the child an adolescent and then an adult--unless death comes too soon. And a person becomes layered, complex, shielded against both real and imaginary threats or losses.

===


People in our culture often think that sex is oriented only toward pleasure, toward "getting off". But I think something deeper is at play in sex, the desire to get naiked. This desire can carry us along a transformational journey which is very much an authentic spiritual path -- regardless of religious affiliation.

Naiked is a word I just coined, from a metaphor: naked. Naked is being in one's birthday suit, or sans clothing. Nekkid, I hear from Southerners, means "turned on and naked" ... Or is it just "turned on"? ... But metaphorical nakedness (which I now call "naiked") is being like a baby again, only as an adult, or perhaps an adolescent. Sexual intimacy, like all intimacy, is potentially a powerful practice we may engage to reclaim our naikedness--which is too painful a loss not to wish to reclaim once one knows one has lost access to it.

===

People say there has been a sexual revolution. I very much doubt it. If there has been such a revolution, it has failed. There is very little liberated sexuality in our culture because there is very little naikedness. To be naiked is to trust one's own spontaneous, bodily being enough to transcend one's neurotic and fixated egoism and self-obsession, also known as contractedness. To be naiked is to live in an eternal present unfolding through time, like riding a great wave on a surf board. To be naiked is to be newly here, having just arrived for the first time, like a baby. To be naiked is not to be without adult reasoning skills, but to be uncontained by these, unbound by these, unidentified by them. To be utterly spontaneously authentic is to be naiked. And that's why one cannot be naiked in one's "head". The intellect is incapable of naikedness--, unless it has been transformed by bodily naikedness. Such intellect takes itself to be the body and the earth before it confuses itself with some substance between the ears.
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Last edited by River; 07-24-2011 at 09:36 PM.
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