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  #111  
Old 08-08-2011, 10:45 PM
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I have a sort of date with my faraway Sweetie tonight -- a phone date. Her voice is such a delight to me, after all of this text spilled between us, and such a happy surprise that it is such a wonderful, lovely voice. She said the same about my voice. Yay!

"M" has been intensively grieving the end of her marriage following her very recent divorce and separation, and I recently decided it would be best for me not to travel twelve hundred miles to be with her anytime soon. I want to comfort and love her as a friend, but that's all slippery slope territory for me, and I told her so. I'd want to kiss her, to hold her, to sleep beside her in bed. And this is too close to "romance," and it isn't yet time for her (and therefore also myself) to flirt with romance. It's too soon after the divorce. So we're looking at maybe a wintertime visit, perhaps. But a long visit in spring, by which time I suspect the grieving process will be complete enough and kisses and snuggles won't be premature.

In the mean time, we can continue to be very close friends, and "date" in a manner of speaking..., at a distance.

It was so nice to tell her with my voice that I love her, and to hear her very own voice say "I love you, too".

Patience is....
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  #112  
Old 08-09-2011, 03:47 AM
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Wow! I so enjoyed my "date" with "M" this evening! We talked for a couple of hours, I think. It is a complete joy to spend time with her! I love her so very much! Well, I love her completely, utterly, without limit. And I feel that she loves me, too. Which is so amazing and wonderful! We could talk for hours and hours more, yet still I long to rub her feet and canoe with her and look into her eyes ... and ... and....

I'm so happy!
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  #113  
Old 08-09-2011, 02:54 PM
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Now, of course, it seems to me that it's a little silly for "M" and I to play make believe that we're casual friends and that there isn't something "romantic" going on between us. This I am not doing nor encouraging. "Romance" naturally arises between us along with the spontaneous joy and happiness we share in the fact of each other's existence, of the other's presence in our lives, of us together. So I'm not going to pretend that I'm not in some sense "dating" "M". It delights me to think of it that way. I think we're both looking forward to a time in the future when the grieving is complete enough and a new
spirit of readiness emerges. That's just part of the mix between us; and it's okay.

Last night we talked about what an amazing twenty first century relationship we have, how we've grown so very intimate, loving and close through cyber text, and now telephone, yet we've never been within arms length of one another. I feel that we have "bonded". And yet we have in some sense never even "met" -- in a twentieth or nineteenth century way. And while the fact that we physically cannot touch or kiss at such a distance is troubling, it also feels strangely right (and good), for now, that we cannot.
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  #114  
Old 08-11-2011, 02:06 PM
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Another "phone date". More than two hours on the phone last night! Lovely, wonderful, as always. We never tire of talking with one another, that's for damn sure.

Happy, happy.
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  #115  
Old 08-11-2011, 06:11 PM
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Lovely to see you so in love.
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  #116  
Old 08-16-2011, 03:22 AM
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Love swallows my words, my ideas....

Love, gently, tenderly consumes.

Love is beyond all imaginings, an opening into the unknown,

to which there can only be "allowing," "amazement," "wonder," "surrender"....

only without these thoughts, without these words.

To love is to live; to live is to love. To come alive.

There is no "love," but only love ... "beyond," and "moreso".

Love is stars, is Earth, is embodyment -- all in quotes.

Love is bigger than love, is more than itself, myself, ourselves....

Love is the truth. All in quotes. Unthinkable. Bigger, more....

I want to just shut up about it.
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  #117  
Old 08-17-2011, 08:02 PM
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Another telephone mediated get-together with Faraway Sweetie last night. As before, we seem to have talked for a couple of hours.

She is now without any doubt the closest female friend I've ever had, and ranks up there in sharing topmost position with any friend or love, past or present. This may seem crazy to some, given that we've not been together f2f. Some small part of me wonders if we (for it isn't just me!) indeed are crazy--crazy squared. [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vS8GKcl9KQ ] Surely any rational person would wait until there's been lots of f2f before declaring love. Oh well, there's no putting the cat back in the bag, the horses back in the barn, or reversing the haircut once cut.

On the phone she expressed wonder at being the "Faraway Sweetie" she reads about in here. (One of these days she might comment on this blog.) I'm also living in wonderment. As I told her, I'm just not used to the sorts of expressions of appreciation she constantly hands me. We're both wondering "Could this be me he/she is talking about?" Well, we each are, in fact, that person. We each have those qualities so much appreciated. But we're the shadowy parts, too, and so much else. She sometimes has me confused with some angelic being. (I'm going to disabuse you of this, Darling! I am more like the child of a Devil and an Angel. My wings are tattered and worn, with featherless patches.)

But it is clear that she does love me, even in this tattered condition, and that I love her in hers. (Well, her tatters are so cute!)

We have a remarkable friendship. People will sometimes talk as if there is friendship and then "something more," but this language doesn't work for me. I'd be no less fully in love with her if our relationship never became fully sexual/romantic. And if it does, which it likely will (and I want it to, eventually), we'll be the closest of new friends moving into and exploring this together.

"river song" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKZBDeamZPU
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Last edited by River; 08-18-2011 at 12:08 AM.
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  #118  
Old 08-17-2011, 10:18 PM
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I just received an email from a forum participant who has forgotten her login info here and was perhaps too blissed out to post in the forum anyway. She gave me words of encouragement, saying that she'd gone a stage further--in f2f land--down the same trail as the one I and Faraway Sweetie (FS) are on, and it turned out much, much better than anyone could have expected, despite the usual warnings about virtual/telephone LDRs.

At least I know I'll be happy regardless of how it turns out with FS, but I think we're going to be
(no, already are!) another success story. She rocks my world, whatever becomes of it.
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  #119  
Old 08-19-2011, 11:57 PM
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I'm back !

Yes, I'll add my thoughts of LDRs here for the moment and then maybe in another thread. I've been in a LDR for 3 months now, Internet based (3 hours of online talk per day)...and with phone calls every few days. We've both had people around us saying "oh, but you've not met face to face...how do you know?"

Well, there's something very reassuring about trusting your own feelings

We are also talking about extremes in terms of LDRs - Europe and Australia !! Factor in time differences...language differences..there's a whole lot of complexity here. But, actually the feelings are very, very simple - Love, support, encouragement, joy, happiness...I could go on forever

So we did meet face to face..We both jumped on a plane to Asia. Yeap - Deep End..Somewhere neither of us had been, somewhere with no-one we knew...nowhere to hide, no back up plans.
And, I knew it would be good, I also have a very good imagination but as it turns out...my imagination was not strong enough to imagine just how good it would be...Yay, yay, yay..

On my final day...Well, we decided to extend my stay. I couldn't change my ticket home though..
So, obviously...Just had to buy a new one !

Go River - Trust my friend, I know you do...
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  #120  
Old 08-22-2011, 01:49 AM
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Thanks, Bella!

Just arriving home after a very, very challenging time at "the Gathering". Not in a mood to tell the story right now, and may not share it here at all.

Love you all. I know you missed me, as I missed you. Blessings all around! Hugs and kisses.
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