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  #31  
Old 07-14-2010, 12:19 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by immaterial View Post
In case you missed it. It's the bulk of the post.

Immaterial

PS: Thanks for the completely uncalled for ad hominem attack, the accusation that I'm trying to "win over potential dates." WTF? I'm not here to find women. It';s one thing for you to express hurt feelings, but to call my motives and character into question because you don't like my opinion is not okay with me.
It was the part I quoted I took issue with. That was an uncalled for attack of an entire way of relationships within our culture. I'm not ok with that. Sorry you are not ok with my response.
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  #32  
Old 07-14-2010, 12:21 AM
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I should follow up by apologizing for engaging in a discussion on this part of the forums. Life Stories and Blogs is not an area for debate. I'm happy if you would like me to retract and delete my comments.
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  #33  
Old 07-14-2010, 12:25 AM
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Ha, well, I stand by my post. I am not satisfied by negative definitions and choices made by whittling away at the possible. I didn't even call it monogamy in my post but rather explicitly "what passes for monogamy." I did not insult monogamy, sorry. I outlined what I feel is the negative definition of monogamy. I offered also a negative definition of non-monogamy (the only choice left because monogamy is a failure). What I was trying to communicate before the attempted character assassination was that *negative definitions in general are not very satisfying*. We are only able to make a real, consciously embraced choice when our freedom to choose is positively defined. Positive definitions of monogamy are in fact deeply beautiful and liberating.

Now I'll just sit back and wait for all the hotttt poly babes to PM me and ask me out. Since being an insufferable know it all who uses kittens and puppies to make horrifying insults look great is exactly what women want.

Immaterial
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  #34  
Old 07-14-2010, 12:40 AM
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Although we disagree on some things, there is no reason for my own protective nature to inject un-comfortablity on your own blog. I edited my comment and will not continue along this line. I've seen this in the past and it is not a positive path for the forums. I do apologize for the perception of an attack. Hopefully this will not skew our own interaction on here in the future

I have no issue with removing my comments in the their entirety either. This is your blog and therefore your house so to speak.

Take care
Mono
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Last edited by MonoVCPHG; 07-14-2010 at 12:44 AM.
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  #35  
Old 07-14-2010, 02:03 AM
immaterial immaterial is offline
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Please do not remove your comments, a valid and engaging perspective. I want my blog to be a place of discourse even if it's heated at times. I think I have an inflammatory way of expressing myself sometimes and my sense of humor goes missing in this written medium as well. Anyway, all opinions are welcome regarding the content. My hackles go up when I sense a personal flame but I am as guilty of that sometimes as anyone.

Immaterial

Last edited by immaterial; 07-14-2010 at 02:04 AM. Reason: misspelling
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  #36  
Old 07-14-2010, 02:22 AM
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Quoting myself:

"If I am open to what will serve my highest good, that is truly what will appear."

Thanks for the appearance Mono, Ariakis and any and all others who do me the honor of reading and listening and engaging.

Immaterial
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  #37  
Old 07-14-2010, 02:49 AM
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There's lots to learn from everyone. Your blog is a valuable contribution to an engaging environment where people share and at times struggle with each other.

Take care
Mono
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  #38  
Old 07-14-2010, 03:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by immaterial View Post
Now I'll just sit back and wait for all the hotttt poly babes to PM me and ask me out. Since being an insufferable know it all who uses kittens and puppies to make horrifying insults look great is exactly what women want.

Immaterial
No wonder I am "only" married

I will end where I said, I have no point of contention. One of these days I will start one of these things
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  #39  
Old 07-14-2010, 03:17 AM
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Immaterial, you make some interesting points about monogamy that are worth discussing further. You could start a thread on the topic in "general discussions" if the wording was changed a bit from being a chain of thought to opening up a discussion from what you have observed. That way your blog will not be bogged down with debate and we will all have a chance to speak to what we know of monogamy seen from the point of view you make.
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  #40  
Old 07-14-2010, 08:17 AM
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Talked with my 18 year old former student friend again tonight. We talked extensively about sexual and seductive power. She reminded me that she always dressed very conservatively at school, downplayed her make up, the high heels, the whole bit. I have seen her outside of school so many times, dazzling and like a distillation of sexual energies, that I forgot how demure she was in class itself. We were talking about her classmates.

What kicked the conversation off was something she said. "You know why I trust you? You always make eye contact." "Yeah, well," I smiled sheepishly, "As a teacher, I have had to train myself to always make eye contact, to always keep my line of sight above the neck. If you know what I mean."

She expressed exasperation with her classmates and how provocatively they dressed for school. In particular, how much cleavage was revealed in many outfits.

"Yes, well, my entire way of relating with female students is they don't have bodies at all. They're just minds. That's the only part of the student I'm permitted to have intercourse with, if you get my meaning. Besides, I think a lot of young women your age really have *no idea* how much sexual power they have. You seem fairly hip to it, but many seem to be utterly clueless."

My friend thought for a while, then told me basically the story of how she began to recognize this sexual power, from roughly age 13 to now, 5 years later. I was riveted with attention, as I've never heard it told so eloquently and from a young woman's point of view. For one thing, at a very young age, she learned she could basically get any man, of any age as long as he was pubescent or post-pubescent, to do whatever she wanted. She has a teacher fantasy, as well as an older married man fantasy, because she has never been able to get a man from either of these groups to bend to her sexuality. Almost all other men and young men and boys have been easily led, as if they had rings in their noses. (I told her if she persisted and if she really wanted a huge fucking mess in her life, she would easily get a college professor and/or a married man, it's only a matter of time).

She admits to just now waking up to the potential harm her sexual power could cause others as well as herself. We talked at great length about living through manipulation, using people for expedient purposes, inviting different forms of abusive or harmful energies into one's life, building entire relationships on false structures and faked feelings. She knows her tits don't make her empowered. She also knows that she has been able to use sexual enchantment to lay some heavy voodoo down in the world around her.

We talked about how women gain respect. How unfair it is that women who are proud of their sexual energy and unashamed of their beauty and their sexuality are judged so harshly, not only by men but also perhaps especially harshly by other young women and women. We talked about the difference between being wanted sexually and being admired for who you are, between asking the universe for respect as a human being and using bad faith wiles to charm people. How charm eventually wears off and is often replaced by mutual loathing.

I outlined for her all the different ways I woke up to my seductive, sexual powers and how I used them all. How I had a carefully cultivated "woo kit" and several chameleon colors I could wear depending on the pants I wanted to get into. Is she a nurturing, rescuing sort? I'll play the wounded bird. The tortured artist. Is she a wounded bird herself? I'll be the rescuer, the knight, the hero. Is she impressed by brains? I'll wave my large brain in her face. Does she want a sensitive, emotional guy? Here come the tears. I asked her, does it really matter what a guy looks like to her? No, she said, not really, I mean in some extreme ways, but generally no. Exactly! This was a breakthrough realization for me, I told her. I realized at about age 19 that most of the women I was interested in didn't care that I wasn't movie star material nor ripped and muscular or even athletic. Most of the women I wanted to bed were going to go with what kind of person they thought I was. Being clever, I could easily change the kind of person I was to get what I thought I wanted.

There was a long silence. Turned out she was mentally paging back through a few of her boyfriends, remembering how they wooed her, how they slowly morphed over time into people different from their initial presentation, how she had been played, either consciously or unconsciously.

It was 11:11. I said, "Hey, it's 11:11. Make a wish." We sat silently with our eyes closed and wished our silent wishes. After I made my wish, I had a vision of her moving through the times of her life from now to about age 80, having gone through whatever life waits for her between now and then. I had a slight shiver of awe at just how amazing it is that we come into and out of each others' lives like this, that we are not just listeners to the story but parts of the story.

I have no idea what she wished for, as we both agreed, wishes spoken don't come true.

Immaterial
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