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  #361  
Old 02-27-2013, 01:38 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Originally Posted by ManofDiscovery View Post
You know...that's not the worst idea I've ever heard.
Uhm... It wasn't your idea.

But yeah, being poly is the first thing in my OKC profile. Literally first.
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My self-summary
First and foremost, I have to mention that I'm polyamorous. I'm married and I have a girlfriend. Still here? Ok, cool.
That way, not only does it weed out anyone who's hell-bent on monogamy, but it also draws in those who are specifically geared towards polyamory. At this stage in my life, I don't feel the need to educate and train potential mates on how to be in a poly relationship. There's enough discussion just pinning down how we do things differently, without teaching them the basics on top of it. Preferably, I want people who are already in a poly relationship and just expanding their circle.
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  #362  
Old 02-27-2013, 06:02 AM
turtleHeart turtleHeart is offline
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I'm not currently looking for any new partners, but when I was I had an OKC profile where I mentioned my relationship structure in the first paragraph and linked to my wife's profile. Whenever I messaged anyone I again outlined where I was at regarding relationships. I wanted to weed people out as quickly as possible so I could focus on better matches. It worked.

Some people that I'd messaged hadn't mentioned being poly until I did. In messaging anyone, I first went through their profile and their questions to see if they were someone I'd want to know better, and then sent them a message that made it clear I'd actually read their profile. In the space of a few months I had dates with several poly friendly people and ended up seeing one for a bit over a year, with us being mostly friends now that she's traveling the world indefinitely.

If I had more time I might have dated more, but school and work keep me busy for now. A fair number of people initiated contact based on my photos of me actually doing things I enjoyed vs profile shots of simply standing in front of a camera.
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  #363  
Old 02-27-2013, 08:52 AM
ManofDiscovery ManofDiscovery is offline
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Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
Uhm... It wasn't your idea.
I never said it was...if you reread what I wrote you'll see what I mean. Don't worry...I will accept your apology

Anyway, everyone thanks all for the tips. I've now updated my pof profile to make the very first line a statement on my poly nature, including a link to the site posted earlier in this thread.

Let's see how that goes.

Jobs for this week now include:
- Create an OKC profile.
- Create a PolyMatchMaker profile.

I did consider declaring to the world on Facebook my polyness...but I chickened out.

And who took the time to rate this thread 2 stars? Is it really that bad?
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  #364  
Old 02-27-2013, 04:45 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Originally Posted by ManofDiscovery View Post
I never said it was...if you reread what I wrote you'll see what I mean. Don't worry...I will accept your apology
Touche. But I don't apologize for making simple mistakes. Apologies are for when you feel remorse for hurting someone. You seem thick skinned enough not to be hurt by a small misreading...
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  #365  
Old 02-27-2013, 05:12 PM
ManofDiscovery ManofDiscovery is offline
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Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
Touche. But I don't apologize for making simple mistakes. Apologies are for when you feel remorse for hurting someone. You seem thick skinned enough not to be hurt by a small misreading...
Fair enough...your gracious touche is enough for me. I can only imagine the level of hurt I would have caused you by making you realise your mistake. I am feeling remorse for that right now, so please accept my apology.

Have you considered that maybe my thick-skinnedness is all a front, and inside I am like jelly, sobbing into my tea as I write this response? (since all we drink in England is tea of course)
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  #366  
Old 02-27-2013, 05:15 PM
ManofDiscovery ManofDiscovery is offline
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So the first day of my poly openness on pof hasn't been overwhelming.

I sent a few messages out, a few profile views occured...but no responses.

That said, I never got that many messages beforehand. My profile in fairness was pretty polarising before I put the poly stuff in.

Also do you think the fact that I'm really, really, really ugly and weigh 600lbs could have anything to do with it? Personally I don't.
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  #367  
Old 02-27-2013, 05:41 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I too have the fact that I'm polyamorous as the first thing in my profile. Better to screen people out as early as possible, in my opinion.
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  #368  
Old 02-27-2013, 11:24 PM
AJ1 AJ1 is offline
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I agree with putting that information front-and-center, but as a man you may also want to temper it with the fact that you are, indeed, looking for something meaningful and committed. Even as a poly myself, I am exhausted from dealing with guys that are just looking for a easy lay - dating sites are crawling with such folks. The girls you are messaging are surely equally weary.

I have an itchy "ignore" finger for any guy who comes off as only interested in sex. Some guys are on the up-and-up and will just say that is what they are looking for. Most won't however, so you have to read between the lines. If you over-emphasize that you "aren't looking to be locked down" you may be triggering false-positives in that regard.
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  #369  
Old 02-28-2013, 08:40 PM
Cleo Cleo is offline
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Originally Posted by AJ1 View Post
I have an itchy "ignore" finger for any guy who comes off as only interested in sex. Some guys are on the up-and-up and will just say that is what they are looking for. Most won't however, so you have to read between the lines. If you over-emphasize that you "aren't looking to be locked down" you may be triggering false-positives in that regard.
it really helps if, on the OKC profile, 'sex' isn't listed as one of the 6 things you can't do without.
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  #370  
Old 03-01-2013, 03:11 AM
turtleHeart turtleHeart is offline
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Originally Posted by ManofDiscovery View Post
So the first day of my poly openness on pof hasn't been overwhelming.

I sent a few messages out, a few profile views occured...but no responses.
I found that many people I ended up going out with took several weeks to respond at first. I'd often nearly forgotten about them by the time I heard back. Women (and gay/bi men) can get quite a backlog of messages. When I was looking for people on OKC and about to close my account due to lackluster response, I then heard back from several people in a matter of a few days and set up dates. I'm not sure how it will be for you, just know that it might take a little while.

Last edited by turtleHeart; 03-01-2013 at 03:14 AM.
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