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  #101  
Old 05-17-2011, 09:37 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
Which is why I make sure to keep my pictures very current and when I meet the person in real life, if they don't match their pictures, then they have basically lied to me already, and the "relationship" is dead before it ever started.
Well the thing is that hair length is important to you, but a lot of people wouldn't consider that lying. If I'm wearing a shirt I don't own anymore or my old pair of glasses, I won't consider it a lie to put the picture up. For me it's the same about hair. I just make sure the picture can see my face well because I figure that's what matters... Eyes, nose, mouth. Never thought anyone would care about a haircut, to be honest.
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  #102  
Old 05-17-2011, 10:16 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Well the thing is that hair length is important to you, but a lot of people wouldn't consider that lying.
According to that line of reasoning, I'm the biggest liar of them all. Especially if you count color as part of a hairstyle.

I marvel at the superficiality of T's criteria. It's always refreshing to see a real-life cliché. I also think it's refreshing how T candidly admits to these things, then appears genuinely perplexed by why it's so hard to find people online worth pursuing a relationship with.
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  #103  
Old 05-17-2011, 11:08 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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And yet, no-one can STILL meet my challenge. All every one seems to be able to do, is shift blame. Come on, lets compare apples to apples here. The only difference, is women, to men, and locations.



So, you girls are saying that you will date ANYONE? No matter WHAT the physical attraction (or lack thereof) to that person? Maybe it's just me, but I prefer to be physically attracted to a person first. I mean, if I plan to sleep wih this person, I NEED to be physically attracted to this person, or it simply doesn't work.
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  #104  
Old 05-17-2011, 11:14 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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So, you girls are saying that you will date ANYONE?
No, I'm pretty sure several people have said before that it's hard for women to find men to date. I don't really understand how your point works, you started by saying "men have it harder because women are so picky" but then you switched to "look, it's hard for men because nobody meets my criteria". And it doesn't sound, well, a bit contradictory to you? If women are picky, you are too and you're a guy, so you're not any different.

Women might get more messages, but often it's from guys who aren't actually interested in them, or wouldn't be if they actually read their profile. It's not fair to blame women for having to do an extra selecting because people didn't bother to read their profile.
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  #105  
Old 05-18-2011, 12:01 AM
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Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
So, you girls are saying that you will date ANYONE? No matter WHAT the physical attraction (or lack thereof) to that person? Maybe it's just me, but I prefer to be physically attracted to a person first. I mean, if I plan to sleep wih this person, I NEED to be physically attracted to this person, or it simply doesn't work.
I don't think anyone is saying that they would date anyone but I find that my attraction to someone grows (or wanes) as I get to know them. I don't have a list of "must have" attibutes tucked away in my head. The whole person is more than a sum of their parts.
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  #106  
Old 05-18-2011, 12:29 AM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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I'm not "meeting your challenge" because I don't waste my time joining OKCupid in order to "meet" someone's "challenge", which I'm not sure I even understand and/or disagree with.

I'm not part of that so-called "challenge". I'm just part of a lively discussion here.
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  #107  
Old 05-18-2011, 12:35 AM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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However, I don't rule out a relationship based on the length of someone's hair. I look at whether the hair is clean or not, sure, but I'm a little less superficial when it comes to things like color and length (that's like women who say they won't date a bald man. what if you fall in love with him when he has hair, THEN he goes bald? Don't you still love him? Get him a toupee, and love the toupee. See if the toupee is a good listener and a good lay).. So, no, I wouldn't date just ANYONE, but I don't look for a specific set of physical criteria and sit there with a check-list ruling people out because they don't match perfectly. That is, if I were so inclined to be "dating people", of course. I don't consider myself to be actively "looking", but if I were that is.

Last edited by NeonKaos; 05-18-2011 at 12:37 AM.
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  #108  
Old 05-18-2011, 12:57 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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TL, you're in love with/married to a woman who is 210 lbs, but looking for women under 200? Why?
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  #109  
Old 05-18-2011, 01:55 AM
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TL, you're in love with/married to a woman who is 210 lbs, but looking for women under 200? Why?
I see what you're trying to do there.



But because I play games too, I'll entertain. When I started seeing my wife, she weighed less than she does now. Then, she had our daughter....and gained weight with that. She never lost the weight. Not much...Only about 20 lbs.

Try to get this through your heads ladies, I said my criteria are NOT hard and fast numbers, but are general rules/areas/criteria. I may become attracted to a woman who weighs more than 200lbs. (It happened recently in fact. She had BEAUTIFUL eyes) But GENERALLY speaking, I am not attracted to women who are over certain weights, in proportion to their bodies.

As I said before, I like what I like. I don't try to push my likes (or dislikes) upon anyone else. They like what they like....and no amount of me telling them about the pleasures of X Y or Z, will change their minds on it. I know people who are REALLY into foot worshiping. It's not MY thing, but who am I to tell them that they are "wrong" for it? My wife likes to be tied up and restrained. I don't like to do that to her. I do it every now and then because she likes it. But only like once every 5 or 6 months. She likes what she likes. Not MY thing, but not really "wrong" either.

So, don't tell me that I need to "ease up" on my "criteria". I like what I like. They are my personal standards. I can DEFINATLY have a friendship with a woman who is heavier than 200 lbs...or even with a woman who is 120lbs. But I probably wouldn't be physically attracted to either one of them, and therefore probably wouldn't want to date either of them. But, as I have said before; my criteria are somewhat flexible, and I might find myself falling for either or even both. Who knows.
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  #110  
Old 05-18-2011, 02:10 AM
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I also have preferences but I don't make them rules. I will go out with short, tall, thin, or overweight, short hair, long hair, or no hair. I don't like kissing smokers, but I have dated them, too. I am certainly drawn more to specific types but won't rule out other types completely -- because it's the person that's more important to me.

TL, that fact remains that you are always complaining about how hard it is for you to meet any women, and how much easier it is for women to meet men, as if it was a general statement of fact. But even if you will consider someone who is outside of your very narrow ideal, putting those specifications in your profile severely limits who will contact you -- so therefore, you should amend your statements about how hard it is for you to include the fact that you are super picky.

In my OKC profile, I say "I am attracted to a variety of physical types" and my age range is 36 to 62. That is ALL I say about physical attributes I am seeking. Everything else I specify that I am looking for is about personality traits. I see who contacts me, see who comes up in a search and let the person's profile or message to me influence whether or not I might be interested. If they write intelligently, show a good sense of humor, and don't seem to be solely focused on sex or finding The One, AND there is something about their looks that attracts me, even if not within my normal preferences, they have a chance. I was just looking at a profile today of a quite overweight bald guy - but he has beautiful eyes and a friendly smile, plus his profile is a fun read.

If there was a woman as picky as you are and put that in her profile, she would have as much of a hard time getting any responses as you do. But don't think that just because women might seem to you to get more responses that all those responses are good ones. We still have to weed out, believe me, but if we're not somewhat loose about what we're looking for in the first place, then... well, not many responses come our way! And ultimately it is just as difficult to find someone suitable. It does get tedious, but I would rather have more duds to choose from than to limit who will respond to my profile in the first place.

No one's saying you should relax your criteria, although you might be happier if you try. Just stop complaining about it as if your specifications have nothing to do with it.
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Last edited by nycindie; 05-18-2011 at 09:58 AM.
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