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Old 06-21-2010, 02:58 AM
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sparrow sparrow is offline
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Default Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name?

Hello, all! I'm pretty new to this world (basically, I've only just dipped my toes into the ocean).

About a year ago, I 'met' a woman, K, online through a shared hobby, and we became fast friends. From there, our relationship has grown, and we finally met in person a few months ago to attend a convention. We clicked in person just as well as we had via chat, and I fell into fast, easy friendship with her fiance as well. Soon after, she invited me to attend in her wedding, which I gladly accepted.

Since the wedding, we've become far more open about our feelings for one another. It's been a difficult road for me to admit I loved a woman (especially a married woman who lives two thousand miles from me) as I've previously identified myself as straight and monogamous. I've always felt physical attraction to women, sure, but I thought it was only normal as chicks are hot >.>

Anyway, it became evident that every time we parted, it was growing more and more difficult to say goodbye, so I went for another visit only last month that lasted ten days. This time, rather than traveling and filling our time, she and I passed our days watching old movies and cuddling on the couch. When her husband was home, the three of us laughed and talked and worked on a creative project suited to all of our interests and talents - it was a truly amazing ten days.

When I returned home, I felt... off. Adrift and fretful, and for each thing K suffered in my absence (reprimand from her job for e-mailing me from work, dental procedure when she's terrified of dentists, her lease coming up for renewal at the end of the month with only two weeks notice), I felt all the worse for not being there with her and her husband.

Where K had been asking me to move closer for quite some time and I'd been trying to think of every reason I can't do so, but when the opportunity arose for K and her husband, L, to move into a two bedroom apartment, my heart couldn't pass up the invitation any longer.

Now that this relationship is apparently going to happen, I'm feeling both exhilarated and nervous. None of us have ever entered into anything like this before, and we're all on loose footing. I know I love K, and I definitely care for L because K does. L enjoys my company and tells K he could fall for me. I worry we'll make a mess of things, but even that can't stop me.

So I guess I'm here mostly for support and to know I'm not alone. I don't know anyone in a polyamorous relationship, and I honestly hadn't even thought in those terms until a friend of mine brought it up.

And having said all that, hello again!
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  #2  
Old 06-21-2010, 05:45 AM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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Default ...hello right back !

,...Greetings, and welcome to the board !


From reading your post, I feel excited FOR you and your new adventure !

Unchartered territory can be both thrilling and scary. I`m getting a ultra-healthy vibe from what you have written, and I hope things unfold well for all 3 of you !

My 2 cents would be in the form of :

- Read up, but not to much. Don`t get hung up on how other poly relationships work,..nor the labels. Always remember to 'recycle' info..... Keep the advice that works, and throw out what doesn`t.

- ....and enjoy each other.
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Old 06-21-2010, 02:55 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Default

Welcome to the forum, and enjoy the ride. It sounds like a great start so far.

Quote:
Read up, but not to much. Don`t get hung up on how other poly relationships work,..nor the labels. Always remember to 'recycle' info..... Keep the advice that works, and throw out what doesn`t.
Oh...and this
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Old 06-21-2010, 07:17 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sparrow View Post
I've always felt physical attraction to women, sure, but I thought it was only normal as chicks are hot >.>
I agree completely...chicks are hot!

Although I don't usually think of them as "chicks." "Babes" is more like it.
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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Old 06-21-2010, 08:47 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Great to hear how all of this is going so happily!

Quote:
Originally Posted by sparrow View Post
Where K had been asking me to move closer for quite some time and I'd been trying to think of every reason I can't do so, but when the opportunity arose for K and her husband, L, to move into a two bedroom apartment, my heart couldn't pass up the invitation any longer.
This part is my only concern, and that's because I'm never comfortable with people meeting online and then moving across the country to live together, without first living in the same city and dating more frequently. I'm just scared that people will uproot their lives and then find out it wasn't what they expected.

But that's also partially bullshit on my part, because when my husband and I started dating, he pretty much came to stay with me for a few days and never left. Three and a half years in and things have never been better between us...
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Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).

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