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  #11  
Old 02-01-2011, 08:24 PM
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
I must admit I don't like re-visiting this post but here I am. I feel something a little different this time though...something I didn't expect to feel with any intensity ever again. Loss. Not the loss of anything given to me..but in my ability to give of myself. I'm working through it, there is a tremendous conflict in me but as always I trust in the words of the people I love. Doing what is right is listening to those I trust more than anything.

This is not easy. I don't think it ever will be. Things have changed, we are looking inward as well as outward. We always support each other.
I hope this change isn't permanent, but if so, then that is how it has to be... I am slowed to a stop my love. Take your time. I am in no rush to ever figure this out... you and our family is worth much more than anything else in my life right now. If that changes then so be it, but for now.... full stop.

(I know, I know, I'm a fool, but if you all were to witness what we all have, then you would think I am a fool for entirely different reasons, its worth sucking it up).
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  #12  
Old 02-01-2011, 08:33 PM
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All manner of love to you, my friends. You are all precious, intelligent and full of heart. Hugs from our house to yours. Message/call anytime.
-R
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  #13  
Old 02-01-2011, 08:53 PM
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I hope this change isn't permanent, but if so, then that is how it has to be... I am slowed to a stop my love. Take your time. I am in no rush to ever figure this out... you and our family is worth much more than anything else in my life right now. If that changes then so be it, but for now.... full stop.

(I know, I know, I'm a fool, but if you all were to witness what we all have, then you would think I am a fool for entirely different reasons, its worth sucking it up).
Thank you Lilo...I know the compromises you make and see them in your eyes. I love you.
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  #14  
Old 02-01-2011, 08:54 PM
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All manner of love to you, my friends. You are all precious, intelligent and full of heart. Hugs from our house to yours. Message/call anytime.
-R
Your support, and that of your family, is very appreciated Rarechild Thank you.
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  #15  
Old 02-01-2011, 09:26 PM
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I love you guys.

I know it's a rough life to "iron out".
All of the compromises, figuring out what CAN each person compromise without actually compromising themself.
It's not easy-but you have all managed to do such a tremendous job of it thus far.

It's so damn far away, but you know-I'm here loving you all-each and every day.


XOXOXOXOOX
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  #16  
Old 02-01-2011, 09:30 PM
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It's so damn far away, but you know-I'm here loving you all-each and every day.


XOXOXOXOOX
Thanks LR, we love you too
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  #17  
Old 02-01-2011, 09:33 PM
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I know Mon-everytime a big 'ole board swings around to knock me down, I feel you guys there loving me til I can get back on my feet.
The feeling is mutual. Wish I was closer.
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  #18  
Old 02-02-2011, 12:09 AM
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I am sending much love to all of you. I hope you're feeling it, because i am sending it. Love. Peace. Healing.
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  #19  
Old 02-28-2011, 01:52 AM
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I've just been reading a bit lately, trying to figure out everything between Jen and I, as far as poly goes. From the few posts I've read today, I can draw a lot of parallels with Mono. Granted, I'm the primary in it all, whereas he is the secondary (tertiary...whatever? hahahaha), but a lot of the feelings are the same.

I'm trying to stay positive in all of this, with the most important person in my life asking to open what we have to another. It's not easy to be asked that, even if they are a good friend. I've always loved Jen for everything she is, everything she is not... Never did I know that it would include opening our marriage to another man.

All we can ever do is grow together, as closely as we can. What we have hasn't changed with the inclusion of another, it has grown. All I can do is hang on to the positives, and work around my fears, just as Mono does.



I'll be watching you Mono! I find some inspiration in your posts, knowing that how I feel is completely normal. It's comforting that my feelings of insecurity, fear, and potential loss aren't odd. While they aren't always there, they creep up and go, depending on the day.
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  #20  
Old 02-28-2011, 04:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Beodude123 View Post
I can draw a lot of parallels with Mono. Granted, I'm the primary in it all, whereas he is the secondary (tertiary...whatever? hahahaha), but a lot of the feelings are the same.
The feelings are indeed the same... just so you know though, Mono is not a secondary to me... he subsrcibes to that point of view as a way of accepting his position in out relationship dynamic, but to me it is not like that. I have many loves and they are all equal it terms of value and position within my heart. The only difference is time I can spend with them and their own position in their own lives. That's it. Mono and I spend the same if not more time together than PN and I actually. I would not put anyone over anyone else any more. To me that is a way to start out a poly relationship dynamic, but not a good way to continue. Just saying.
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