I turtle ... a defense mechanism that was overused growing up ... I never really learned how not to. I'm learning the hard way that turtling doesn't work over extended periods of time. I still feel and on one level - sort of over there - I know that what I'm doing is hurting the people around me.
I felt that I couldn't deal with the issues and wow was that the wrong decision. We're still communicating (I'm alot calmer now - I was in bits when typing the last post). It's strange, I'm terrified, but we're on a new track. We were ploughing the same field for too long, arguing over who got to drive the tractor. The sun is still in the sky, we still have a bloody mountain to climb but I think we can climb it.