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  #11  
Old 06-15-2010, 04:04 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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c) he doesn't consider her a threat - this one I put in here because guys can sometimes...hmmm...view their opponents as level of threats. If you were clear about exactly how you feel, he could very well be seeing it as a fling or lesbian love he doesn't need to be concerned with
Guys, and girls actually so this isn't gender specific, will look at other partners almost like a threat level. Simply consider the One Penis Policy. Lots of guys believe women on women relationships are less of a threat than a man on woman relationship. However if you were involved with a guy, the threat level would be different, forcing his hand to become more alpha and strut...

This really simplifies it, btw, but I read about it often. Heck on one forum I am on there is a group of guys defending the OPP to death believing, truly, in their hearts that female relationships are more fleeting and less important than "normal" ones. This of course is a massive slap in the face of any lesbian, bi-sexual or other relationships.
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  #12  
Old 06-16-2010, 03:15 AM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
While I don't disagree that really simplifies it. I know introverts, who are introspective but when the time is right talk your ear off.
My wife is an extrovert...(actually she is an enigma) but she is very introspective...go figure, at the beginning of our adventure I would have thought I was going to be the introspective quiet one
Good point.....let's look at it through the Myers-Briggs perspective. People are either sensory oriented or introspective in the way they percieve the world around them. Sensory oriented people tend to gather data through the senses. An extremely sensory oriented person (like my Mother) will focus and talk only about things she can pick up by seeing it, hearing it, smelling it, touching it, tasting it etc.

An introspective person will be intuitive and will focus on all sorts of things in other realms like emotional, spiritual- and they are conceptual.

So- an introspective person can be an introvert or an extrovert. A sensory oriented person can also be an introvert or an extrovert.

The introvert needs time alone to re-charge their batteries. An extrovert needs time with others to re-charge their batteries.

Also- as I said before....if an extreme introvert has a conflict....they will usually need to work it out within and feel that they have a resolution before sharing it.

An extrovert needs to talk it out as they are figuring it out. If you listen, they will probably change their minds several times (which can be confusing to the introvert who doesn't speek unless it's resolved) but it's all in an effort to try different ideas until a solution is reached.

Also- it's not black and white. If a person is in the middle, then they will act as an extrovert at times and an introvert at other times.

My point was just that it might not be as much of a gender thing as it is a temperament thing.
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  #13  
Old 06-16-2010, 03:34 AM
amoremme amoremme is offline
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Default Very hard to read...

Men are HORRIBLE communicators. I tend to believe the opposite of extroverts and introverts however. I think that often, people who seem extroverted are the ones who hide true feelings behind alot of talk. True intoverts (which is probably me) will talk ONE person to death and hide true self to everyone else.
My husband is much like yours. He NEVER tells me how he feels until I practically BEG it out of him. However, when I do get him to open up (after he gives me the rigamoro of "I dont want to hurt you.") we tend to be on the same page. I think your husband probably feels the same. No matter how open and accepting of his feelings you are- he will not want to tell you how he really feels because he's afraid it'll be the wrong thing to say. If he accepts your girlfriend- he may be sacrificing his security, if he does not, he is sacrificing your feelings.
My heart BREAKS for men really. It must be so hard to bury your feelings. I told my husband that my heart hurts that I am preventing him from experiencing all of the sexuality and intrests he may be wanting to have... to this he replied "but I would never cheat on you." NOT THE POINT. The point is... I love him enough to want him to experience EVERYTHING- I don't want him to resent our love. BUT... how can I do this and feel secure if he can't even express what he's feeling??? URGHHHHH.... I think you'll have to either drag it out of him or, just do what you feel is right for you.
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  #14  
Old 06-20-2010, 06:41 PM
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Slip Slip is offline
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Thank you all for your input. I am very proud to announce my husband is bringing my girlfriend here to me now. She'll be living with us and we'll see where this all goes. I respect her sexual orientation... and would never - ever expect her to do anything she isn't comfortable with. I love him and will honor him in every way possible. Right now, I'm a little nervous, a little thilled and a lot humble. I have two wonderful people that are in love with me and I couldn't be more blessed!!
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  #15  
Old 06-21-2010, 01:58 AM
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idealist idealist is offline
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That's awesome!! Keep us posted !!!
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