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  #21  
Old 06-06-2014, 06:29 PM
gerardo gerardo is offline
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hello you all......

the idea of no doors is based on the argument that the doors is a barrier for communication. Privacy can be achieve without doors. Lock on doors is for the no entry, stay off, etc. the idea of no trust. A emotional relation between more then two people can be complex and communication is critical. Time spend and space is in deed necessary. My thesis follows a tv series based on polyamroy and I am focusing on designing some kind of communal/shared house without doors....and when I say no doors I am referring to spaces that have privacy and plenty of communal space. How would one design a house for 7 that emotional connected? and eventually with children....

is it true that primary relationships are priority in this culture?


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  #22  
Old 06-06-2014, 07:27 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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I'm curious about how doors impede communication. One opens the door and begins talking with the person inside, if they also want to talk. Is this mean to preclude any private conversations between 2 or more people? How would structures encourage privacy without doors? Would walls be moveable or reconfigurable? I'm trying to envision such a place and having difficulty.

It is true that doors are not required for privacy. Other cultures have strategies that generate a privacy 'bubble' through behaviors and agreed upon norms. For example, it's my understanding that in Japan, if you don't acknowledge someone you know on the street or other public place that is a signal you wish privacy. The other person will then act like they never saw you, you don't exist in that space as far as they are concerned. In a nation where many interior walls are rice paper and there are a LOT of people, it makes sense social conventions developed to create privacy. But in the West, that has generally not happened. We do tend to rely more on walls and doors to create privacy.

Do you have a sense, if such a place were to be built, what type of folks would like that situation? Even the hard core intentional community types I know still have at least their own room to retreat to.

Again, personally this just sounds like a miserable situation for a Western introvert. But perhaps I am just not imagining it enough.
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  #23  
Old 06-06-2014, 07:31 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gerardo View Post
is it true that primary relationships are priority in this culture?
For some people, yes, a primary relationship (or two or more) is sometimes the focus of being poly. (I know a few people with two or more primaries at the same time. I admire the heck out of these folks!)

Others are utterly uninterested in having a primary relationship, don't follow hierarchical poly and/or are solo poly, relationship anarchy practitioners and so on.

While there is something of a 'default' expectation that people want a primary relationship, or remain in one, there are so many ways to be ethically poly that it can't be said that this is a priority across all poly culture(s).
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  #24  
Old 06-06-2014, 08:15 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is online now
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As opalescent said, primary relationships are important for some polyamorists, not so much for others.

Re: doors ... I think of them as symbols of respect (for each other's personal space and privacy). Communication is indeed important, and the heavy discussions should happen when everyone is at a good stopping place which generally means scheduling a specific time beforehand (a time everyone agrees to) for a sit-down. This way people will know ahead of time when they'll be opening their doors and emerging for the discussion that needs to happen.

If something suddenly comes up that can't wait and has to be talked about right away, I think of it as a gesture of respect to knock on the person's door and let them be the ones to open it or perhaps ask for a few minutes beforehand.

A doorless set-up would be great for a group of people who were very easy-going, open to talk at any time and under any circumstances, and not in need of any kind of secure privacy. In a household with children, doors help reinforce (in a tactile way) that there are certain spaces that are sacred to the individuals in them at any one given time.

I think there's a few commune-style polyamorists, and a whole lot of regular-old colonial-American style polyamorists. The doorless ideal would appeal to a very small slice of the poly population.
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