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  #31  
Old 09-15-2011, 03:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Cindie and mbg, thanks for being open about sharing your biases about bi men. Bi biases, heh.
Ditto. It's refreshing to read such honest and vulnerable words. It takes courage to tell the truth in the face of possible rebuke.
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  #32  
Old 09-15-2011, 03:49 PM
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Ditto. It's refreshing to read such honest and vulnerable words. It takes courage to tell the truth in the face of possible rebuke.
Absolutely, absolutely. Thank you, guys. Please don't take it amiss that those of us who know many bi men, or who are bi men, feel the need to comment.

On the question of submissiveness, my married roommates are in a total-power-exchange D/s relationship, as it happens. The trans guy is the sub, his husband is the dom.
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  #33  
Old 09-15-2011, 03:49 PM
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Were I a woman, I'd definitely prefer biamorous or otherwise more androgynous sorts of guys. And I don't mean he wears mens' workboots, a flowery skirt, and a mens' shirt. Appearance has little to do with what I'm talking about. Most biamorous men are like myself. We "pass" as regular straight dudes ... until we get to talking. And when we get to talking ... we're just what the women generally want. We're kind, sensitive, thoughtful, tender, vulnerable, feeling..., but also tough and rugged and "masculine" when the situation calls for it.
Abso-effing-lutely! You have hit the nail on the head, River. I have found biamorous men to be more in touch with their emotional sides. And I find that immensely attractive. I also find that, even though I am open to dating straight men, the ones I fall for are bi.

I'd never really thought about it in these terms. Thanks!

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  #34  
Old 09-15-2011, 05:31 PM
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JG,

Were it not for my plate being full....
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  #35  
Old 09-15-2011, 08:31 PM
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At all personal send today?
A unique variety of CrazySpam? A computer program gone berzerk? A grammar swirling neurological condition?
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  #36  
Old 09-15-2011, 08:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Cindie and mbg, thanks for being open about sharing your biases about bi men. Bi biases, heh.
Yeah, that was difficult to post. Because it IS a bias.


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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Second of all, interesting that mbg thinks of bi men as weak because of their craving for gay sex. Of course, being penetrated in our society is seen as womanly. And women are understood in the patriarchal culture (6000 years and still going strong) to be weak and second class. Since we have vaginas that enjoy being penetrated, penetration must equal weakness and being second class. (This flies in the face of the manly Spartan warrior culture of old, where MM sex was considered superior, and women were married only for procreation.)
I don't think of submissive/bi as weak. Its interesting that you took my bias (tee hee, now I'm going to giggle about that) of bi men as a position that I think bi = weak. I don't think bi = weak anymore than I think submissive = weak.

And strangely enough, I think gay men are fucking HOT.

But the line between bi/submissive gets blurred for me with men AND women, and I don't find submissive men sexually attractive. On the other hand - when I'm in a mood, its then that I wish I was fully Domme because my sadistic side is out in force


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Of course, this leads men to not allow themselves to enjoy the prostate stimulation available to them from being anally penetrated, even in masturbation or with their female partners, much less with men.
I like anal play. With men, with women. I have enjoyed it with my husband.

Thanks for this discussion. Its helped me clarify in my OWN head where that comes from.
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  #37  
Old 09-15-2011, 08:40 PM
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But the line between bi/submissive gets blurred for me with men AND women, and I don't find submissive men sexually attractive.
I'm one of those biamorous guys who isn't into role-playing in general, and especially not with regard to dom / sub. We do exist! I'm neither a top nor a bottom with a man or a woman. I'm just River. I like kissing, cuddling, ... and giving and receiving pleasure. I don't think of any of this stuff in terms of who is on top in a figurative sense, and am VERY willing to have her literally on top ... or him wherever he'd like to position himself, so long as he doesn't hurt me.
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  #38  
Old 09-15-2011, 08:51 PM
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I was just thinking that it may well be that some of the women here who are attracted to bi (particularly biamorous) men are attracted, in part, because we tend to be more emotionally androgynous. By which I mean that we tend to embody the full range of human emotional responsiveness. Many women desire a quality of companionship which many or most men cannot offer, simply because they are caught up in lots of masculinity training (and perhaps also some biological traits).

. . . we're just what the women generally want. We're kind, sensitive, thoughtful, tender, vulnerable, feeling..., but also tough and rugged and "masculine" when the situation calls for it.
Well, that's interesting, but I have known many guys who met your description of being in touch with their emotional lives, and were totally straight. But again, I often hung out in circles that are either "New Age-y" or focused on personal growth, the human potential movement, 12-step programs, etc. I think the more people look inward, the more expansive they become emotionally, so their sexual orientations doesn't really come into play in that regard. So, I think straight men get a bad rap in that area, as if they're all insensitive cave men. So not true!

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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Since we have vaginas that enjoy being penetrated, penetration must equal weakness and being second class. (This flies in the face of the manly Spartan warrior culture of old, where MM sex was considered superior, and women were married only for procreation.)
Slight tangent:

To fulfill my general requirements for school, I am taking aclass right now on Ancient political thought, and the prof was talking a bit about life in Athens during Socrates' and Plato's time. She was saying that while it's well-known that the ancient Greek males had sexual relationships with younger men and boys, there is now some evidence coming to light that the women had similar relationships with younger females. The men and women definitely had their own communities and only came together to make babies.

In fact, the way the Greeks instilled their soldiers to fight for their country was to encourage them to become lovers with their fellow soldiers and defend that love. She said, "But before you think, wow, the Greeks were so chill and open-minded, a large part of that division was due to the men not thinking women worthy of loving relationships. They served a purpose and that was procreation." Also, the social strata was not based on wealth but by inherited position. In other words, a Greek could have lots of money, and be the wealthiest in Athens, but if he had that money as a result of work rather than inheritance, he would be considered lower class (the nouveau riche always get put down some way, right?). Then she said that either Socrates or Plato (I can't recall which) had the dream of creating a "community of women and children," as she put it, for the upper class men to procreate with so there wouldn't be any focus on whose woman or child was whose, like the lower working class would do, to focus on survival. This would keep the wealth within that upper strata of society and there would be no danger of a man having to go out and work to support a family that "belonged" to him. Interesting, indeed.
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Last edited by nycindie; 09-15-2011 at 08:54 PM.
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  #39  
Old 09-15-2011, 09:08 PM
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Originally Posted by marksbabygirl View Post

I don't think of submissive/bi as weak. Its interesting that you took my bias (tee hee, now I'm going to giggle about that) of bi men as a position that I think bi = weak. I don't think bi = weak anymore than I think submissive = weak.
OK. For the record, my gf's bf/"Master" is pansexual (bi being under that umbrella) and a switch. He's sub to his primary gf and Top to miss pixi.

I didn't mean to imply subs are weak. In the BDSM community, this is not so. I am talking about in the general public perception, any man that gets anally penetrated, or even orally penetrated, must be "weak and womanly."

So... yeah, it's odd that you, a sub, think bi men are always sub and therefore not attractive.

We have one male married poly couple we know rather well. The one guy is bi, or pan; he likes femmes of any gender. Definite Top. The couple are lifestyle BDSM people, complete with collar and contract.
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  #40  
Old 09-15-2011, 09:15 PM
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I think it's important to note that we who have admitted to having a bias or prejudice are expressing what our initial or general impressions are, not what we really think of an individual person. We are simply shedding light on reactionary thoughts that we know we have, but it's been stated by me and others that getting to know someone usually dissipates those thoughts and I think that's important to remember.
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