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Old 09-29-2012, 04:00 AM
Akiyuki Akiyuki is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 4
Default Missing multiple partners :(

I'm dating two people who are also romantically involved with each other. It's a long-distance relationship on all three sides.

This weekend, the two of them are going to travel and meet, but I can't join them. I've been in a long distance relationship before, but I've never been in a polyamorous relationship before, and I'm having all these weird feelings about them being together when I can't be there.

It's not that I mind them hanging out without me. I just miss them terribly and I miss them even more when I imagine them together. Everything I miss is in one place and I can't be there. But, in some ways, it actually feels better that they're in the same place because I imagine that they're having fun, and that they're not missing each other. That makes me happy.

Most of the time, when we're all three separated, I feel kind of jealous thinking about them hanging out with other people (I realize this isn't very healthy and I don't discourage them from having friends and being social.) But I don't feel jealous of them being with each other; I feel happy about it. But I wish I could be there so much. I'm not really sure what I feel right now.

Sorry for the long, mixed-up post. I'm just wondering if anyone else has experience with multiple-way long-distance relationships, and how you handle your feelings when your partners can see each other but you can't see them. I'm new to this and confused.
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Old 09-29-2012, 05:26 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 712

My situation is a little different, I'm the hinge of a vee, but we're very close to an emotional triad. I feel very jealous when they hang out together, whether it's virtual or in real life. One lives around the corner from me, and the other is a bit less than three hours drive away. They adore each other, and were friends before the three of us were friends.

I think your emotions are just fine. Let them feel and blow on through. Long distance can be challenging.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)
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long distance, triad

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