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Old 06-06-2010, 06:48 PM
Bucephalus's Avatar
Bucephalus Bucephalus is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 9
Default Non-mono, Poly-curious; Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh

Hello there.

I am what is called philosophically polyamorous, but I am also open to purely monogamous relationships if conditions are right.

I am new to the poly community, this being my first real venture, but I am not new to the idea of polyamory, nor have I ever questioned myself as polyamorous after first being introduced to the concept about four years ago. I am also pansexual, though I have not yet fallen for someone not of the opposite gender.

As for my relationship history, it is extremely brief. I have one current partner, who is the only partner I've ever had, and we have been together for over a year now, though we have been friends and interested for over six. My partner is a mono, but he is gradually understanding and opening up to me being poly. I established with him, early on, that I may not be exclusive to him in the future.

As a side note, it was Robert Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land that first introduced the concept of polyamory to me.

Though I know I am polyamorous, I still consider myself poly-curious because of my lack of practical experience with polyamorous relationhips and the polyamorous community, as well as because of my openness to monogamy.

To explain my title, I am pretty secure in my own orientation (as secure as someone my age can be), and am simply searching for that tag which encompasses them.
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Old 06-06-2010, 07:23 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Welcome aboard.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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Old 06-07-2010, 04:50 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,448

I think it's great to identify with any term that you feel applies to you.

I don't think anyone here will say that you can't call yourself poly unless you've actually been in love with two different people. Well, some might, but people say all kinds of things and I tend to just ignore the parts that sound stupid.

I think poly is half mental and half practical (ratios may vary). Some people just know, in their heart, that they are able to love more than one person at the same time. Others can't believe it until they wake up one day and found themselves doing it.

I've always known that monogamy is not for me. For the longest time, there was no reason to take it any further as I was young, single, and commitment-free.

I've also never been in two serious relationships at the same time. I've been in multiple romances at the same time, but nothing that I would call serious. I have a tendency in life that whenever I find something new and amazing in life, I throw myself into it wholeheartedly. Previous romances have been no different. As long as I was in the "honeymoon phase", I was so consumed by those romances that I had no immediate desire to be with anyone else. When I came out on the other side, it turned out that there was nothing substantial to maintain a longterm relationship, and things always fizzled out.

Wow I'm totally rambling. Anyway, my point is that if you feel you're poly and pansexual, then no one should object to calling yourself such!
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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Old 06-07-2010, 05:51 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
Posts: 1,467

Please let me add my welcome to you too.

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
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Old 06-09-2010, 04:26 AM
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Bucephalus Bucephalus is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 9

Thanks for the welcomes.

Actually, while I've never been in two relationships at once, I have loved (and continue to love) two people at the same time. The only problem is that I know one won't work out because the one I'm not with is a mono who's already with someone else. Ah, youth... Haha

Oh, and I've also always continued to view all humans of the opposite gender as potential mates, even before I learned about polyamory and was "majorly crushing" on someone. That came out sounding a lot more promiscuous than I intended.
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