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  #211  
Old 11-02-2013, 02:51 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Yesterday was an interesting run of emotions.

First after work I spent 5 hours at a tattoo parlour. First waiting for the tattoo and then getting it. They were doing a day of the dead tattoo special and I got a pretty decent sized shoulder (outer) tattoo for only $40. And it's gorgeous.

Then went to a Halloween party done by a group called Generation Kink. Felt that it wasn't something I should feel bad about in regards to Seven (particularly since we weren't mentioning any of the kink related part of it) because I need to have my life but also because I didn't plan to do any kink other than maybe watching.

I did end up trying a few things (things that I had been interested in how they would feel). One was a dry ice branding, got a butterfly on each upper chest. The other was a bit of fire play. Flash cotton, moose, fire painting, and fire flogging. And even though I never expected to get into sub space I ended up doing so. Looking back I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that fire would be the one thing that puts me into subspace even without that deep connection to someone, spinning it in generally puts me into a low level floating head space. Had a lot of fun with that but then started crashing hard.

What really sucked is the crash came with two other parts. One was a feeling of loss because even before there was kink and I would just sometimes have a depressive state hit, Seven always knew how to get me back up. In regards to kink he was able to slow the descent of the crash that even though I still would have a secondary one (which I feel building from last night) I was able to vocalize at that point I needed even 10 min just to fall apart in his arms. My problem is I can't really vocalize much of anything when I'm crashing. Also since I wasn't planning on hitting space I didn't explain either to the people doing the fire play or Woodsmith what I need to help me lower. I'll admit Woodsmith tried, but when I'm crashing I need cuddles and to be enveloped. He was just doing really simple, soft strokes that when my nerves are on fire make me recoil (so after a couple he stopped).

The other part makes me realize I'm probably not really ready to play, particularly while living with Seven. I had a feeling that I was betraying him, cheating on him, throwing everything away. I know that I'm not because we aren't together and that we won't ever be getting back to that but it just happened. I'm not sure why or how to make it stop from happening again.

But oh my god, the fire was so amazing.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #212  
Old 11-04-2013, 03:14 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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So my dad isn't willing to co-sign for a home because he doesn't want us to have an albatross around our neck when a time comes we would want to move.

However he is willing to help out for us to afford a place to rent for us to afford so we will still hopefully be able to get out of this place ASAP.

Also had the talk with Woodsmith. Hopefully things start changing in regards to the parenting feeling so we can get back to being sexual.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #213  
Old 11-05-2013, 02:18 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Today: Work with one of my friends on the co-op we are going to do in regards to our photography and other things.
Tomorrow: Go help someone feed 3.5/4 week old kittens.
Thursday: Look at Apartment 1
Friday: Photography work out in St. Charles
Saturday: BDSM lecture at coffeehouse.
Sunday: Poly discussion group
Monday: Look at Apartment 2.

Also have been working on two new bookings for my photography, have a shoot on Saturday for my modeling, Avon is going okay. Need to choreograph two fire routines for Dec. 13th.

Plus Seven actually started talking to me again (short but civil stuff) for the first time since the 24th so hopefully that means he's getting to a healthier place.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #214  
Old 11-16-2013, 01:46 AM
MeeraReed MeeraReed is offline
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Hope things are going well, Cattiva.
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  #215  
Old 11-17-2013, 08:32 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Have a lot of updates. Will be posting them once at a computer.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #216  
Old 11-18-2013, 05:34 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Catching up.

Home situation: May have found a place yesterday. Putting in an application. Rent is affordable, they cover trash/sewer/water. Probably about the same size of where we live now but a different set up. Can have two kitties with just a $50 deposit.

Performer life: Got a fire performance on Dec. 7. Another Dec. 13. Burlesque performance Dec. 21. Then I'm doing a fire performance and assisting in a fire play demo on NYE.

Romantic life: A bit of backstory here. After Seven had broken up with me I had changed my profile on OKCupid explaining that I would eventually be looking but was only looking for friends. A guy (I'll call him SB for now, I'm sure I'll eventually figure out a nickname) started messaging me and we would pretty much talk daily on there regarding things. I met him in person at the munch I went to in October along with his wife (KB). He, his wife, his wife's boyfriend (NT), and the boyfriend's girlfriend (SP) came to the Thunder Kitten Halloween show. Saw them the next day at the kink party. SB did some fire play with me and helped me come down (actually since the munch he and I had started texting on a regular basis). Spent time with them last weekend both at a BDSM discussion and then a poly discussion. SB and I started talking about the fact we like each other, mesh well, and kink wise line up nicely. This weekend while Woodsmith was hunting I spent the weekend with him, KB, NT, and SP. SB and I did some talking and have decided to start a relationship. Woodsmith, KB, NT, and SP all approve and like this arrangement.

So yay for a lot of happy news recently.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #217  
Old 11-18-2013, 02:05 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Good for you. Keep moving, and always remember to protect your personal boundaries.
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Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
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  #218  
Old 11-19-2013, 12:55 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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One of the nice things is that SB not only encourages me to have open conversation with KB, KB is extremely approachable.

I think she may think SB and I are moving too slow.

He and I have realized we need to work on figuring out everything in regards to what we desire from everything and D/s negotiations. So once that starts up I'll let you know.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #219  
Old 11-19-2013, 08:32 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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So Saturday I'm playing cards against humanity with some people from one of the kink groups. Woodsmith is going hunting. SB, KB, and NT are also going. KB also invited me to be part of a poly q&a the three of them are going to since SB and I are now dating.

It's really nice to get accepted by the wife of someone I'm dating (and that her boyfriend is just as welcoming).
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #220  
Old 11-20-2013, 02:38 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Place I looked at with Woodsmith yesterday was a slum. So unless the place on Thursday is Oh My God Amazing (being $175 more than the place I saw over the weekend) I think we know which one we are hoping to get. Woodsmith is going to drop off the application Friday morning. Hopefully by the start of December we have a new place and can start moving out to it.

Today I get to play with the kitties that I'd be taking two of. Tomorrow I'm probably going to join SB, KB, NT, and SP to see Catching Fire (Woodsmith will join as well depending on how his studying goes). Friday I crash with my mom to do Christmas shopping the next day. Saturday after X-Mas shopping I join KB, NT, and SB for a poly talk and then going to a CAH/play party. Sunday is lazy day. Monday I'm doing a fetish (bondage/wax) shoot and Tuesday I'm taking pictures.

Then finally a few days off work.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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