Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #201  
Old 10-30-2013, 05:56 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 388
Default

Even before he went back to school I was the main money source. Made about 10k more.

That, in addition to the fact I'm not cut out for traditional work force is why when he starts working I want to drop to no more than part time somewhere and focus on my arts.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
N8: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: N8 girlfriend
Ruby: Part of the Leather Family
Logan: Leather Sir in the Family
Arc: Logan's boy
Holly: Leather family
K: Holly's sub
Reply With Quote
  #202  
Old 10-30-2013, 06:19 PM
Dagferi's Avatar
Dagferi Dagferi is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,239
Default

Honey none of us are cut out for the traditional workforce.

There is nothing I would rather do than have a stable full of horses and spend my day playing with him. Guess what that wouldn't pay the bills.

Butch would love to play World of Warcraft and practice his swordsmanship. Guess what won't pay the bills.

Murf would love just to focus on the car thing. Travel the drag racing circuit guess what it isn't going to happen.

Hell my day job boss is a famous musician. Even he has to do sideline projects to make money because music alone is not safe enough. And he is in a band that HEADLINES European rock festivals. Heck they headline when they tour the us. Yet he has to endorse a line of ESP guitars, SIT strings, music software,a guitar cable. I could go on. Because Art alone doesn't pay the bills. Hell he busts his ass for his money. As his personal assistant I see his schedule.
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 50/50 split of time between my two husbands.
Reply With Quote
  #203  
Old 10-30-2013, 06:43 PM
InfinitePossibility InfinitePossibility is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 473
Default

I work part time. I work 3.5 days a week - have done for about 10 years.

I feel very strongly that part time wages should be a living wage for everybody - I think that few people are cut out for full time work. In my view, it's bad for our ability to maintain relationships and bad for communities. Plus - part time work is excellent for encouraging good communication and team working skills - which are in turn good for relationships and communities.

Anyway - as we don't live in the sort of utopia that I think we should, I think that the key to it is the type of part time work. Needs to be something that pays well and preferably doesn't involve other people working for you.

I work in IT. In the small team I'm in, only one is in the office 5 days a week and that person does short days. Some people work full time hours in 4 days and others are just part time. We're amazing at team working.

I own my own home, have a car, a very good social life and am able to look after C (my dog). Nobody else contributes financially to my household.

It is possible to do but I think it depends on the sort of field that you work in.

IP
Reply With Quote
  #204  
Old 10-30-2013, 07:01 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 388
Default

Woodsmith is a bio major and most entry jobs are 3x what I'm currently making. That would make it easy for me to work a couple of days a week and focus on doing my photography, modeling, and performances to bring in "fun" money for myself.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
N8: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: N8 girlfriend
Ruby: Part of the Leather Family
Logan: Leather Sir in the Family
Arc: Logan's boy
Holly: Leather family
K: Holly's sub
Reply With Quote
  #205  
Old 10-30-2013, 07:33 PM
Dagferi's Avatar
Dagferi Dagferi is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,239
Default

Honey my degree is in Zoology with a minor in biochemic.

Want to know what a zookeeper makes $12/hr. I made more grooming dogs.

I was accepted into vet school. Didn't go because 200k of debt when you will only make 45k after school is not worth it. None of the veterinarian I work with are rolling in the dough. Wanna know what you make a vet tech with equal schooling as a human RN is $12/hr at the top end.

Biology job market is flooded. Ask me how I know. Plus since Woodsmith is such a motivated person you really think he is going to get a job easily in this market when he has been sitting on his duff all these years. Or are they going to pick the candidate who busted their ass on all ? Levels

I graduated in the top 5% of my college class. Did military service. Worked hard out of school too I come with references from some of the best in my profession. The director of the Brookfield zoo, the director of the Shed Aquarium, head of the Vet school of medicine at Penn. . I still have to fight to land a job.
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 50/50 split of time between my two husbands.
Reply With Quote
  #206  
Old 10-31-2013, 02:05 AM
monkeystyle monkeystyle is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 138
Default These folks are correct

I work in IT and currently have working for me:

A psychology grad student who's doing this until he can get a job in his field(3years and counting working here)
An Doctorate in Art from a prestigious school who's glad to have a job
A film studies major.......

And on it goes.

I lucked into my job because...well because I'm me. I had no experience and threw a great interview, and miraculously landed here. What'd I used to do? Book editor.

Your BF needs to put your needs before his aspirations, which suspiciously read like someone avoiding responsibility. He can't work part time at McDonalds to supplement his total lack of income? C'mon!

I mean, it's nice that he wants you to be the breadwinner. But maybe being supportive of the current situation is just a tad bit more important? I'd probably dislike the people in your life from how you describe them.
Reply With Quote
  #207  
Old 10-31-2013, 03:18 AM
Dagferi's Avatar
Dagferi Dagferi is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,239
Default

Butch finally got a stable long term position last year. He works for the state. The hours suck he works 7 days and is off 2 then works 8 and is off 4 days. He works second shift. The wages are below what he would get in the private sector but a pension and awesome health insurance is worth it. But he has to deal with bureaucracy. He tested at the highest level for his position. He should have been promoted 9 months ago when a shift leader position opened up but he was passed over for someone with no experience in a coal fired plant who had more seniority on paper. Today we finally got the news he was promoted after that guy bombed and two other guys retired.

He is thankful for the job. He has worked jobs beneath him because that is what you do. Instead of sitting on your duff. You take care of your family.

Murf'a family owned a local garage for at least 3 generations. He has has 2 jobs in his 39 years. When his dads health failed they sold the family business. He currently works in an aluminum extrusion plant. He hates it. With a passion. But he had bills he has to pay so he does what he has to do. He'd prefer to work in a classic car/hot rod/speed shop but the market is in the freaking toilet.
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 50/50 split of time between my two husbands.
Reply With Quote
  #208  
Old 10-31-2013, 06:19 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,491
Default

CG,

I have thought that if you hung out with a different crowd, you might be happier.

Maybe that is true, maybe not. I know you care greatly for these folks but they don't seem to add anything to your life. Of course, we only hear about the bad times and not the joys.

Unfortunately I have to include Wordsmith in the group to get away from. I am unimpressed by someone who can't respect boundaries, is emotionally distant, and appears profoundly self-involved. And yes, I know, we don't see the good times here. But I cannot figure out what you do see in him. What do you get out of that relationship? I remain deeply puzzled by this.

But, to my fellow posters, can we move away from the gender essentialism? Wordsmith is under no obligation to support anyone because he has a penis. Yes, I also hope he would be more supportive, take a part time job or something so they can move out. But that's not the 'man' job anymore than cooking and cleaning is the 'woman' job. If that scenario works for Wordsmith and CG, that that is all good as long as it is freely chosen by both.

Partners should do what they can to support and care for their partners. Wordsmith has major failings in this regard, from what I read here. But he is not failing 'as a man' - he's failing as a person in a committed, loving relationship.
Reply With Quote
  #209  
Old 10-31-2013, 06:29 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 388
Default

I love him and that makes me happy and he inspires me creatively. The marriage part wasn't in my mind for anything other than legal stuff because I see myself with him for life. Mind you I felt that way about Seven only without the idea of marriage stuff.

He actually does want to work a full time job. He knows he is more focused when he is working and that he actually enjoys it unlike me. Even before I mentioned to him I hate the idea of working he stated he wanted to new ankle to have something set up where I don't have to. I think that is probably a third reason we don't plan on having children.

I've never felt a relationship has to do anything for me outside of the other person putting forth the time/effort for us to be together. I don't need a relationship to be happy or fulfilled but I desire having one with people I realize I love past just a very close friend level.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
N8: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: N8 girlfriend
Ruby: Part of the Leather Family
Logan: Leather Sir in the Family
Arc: Logan's boy
Holly: Leather family
K: Holly's sub
Reply With Quote
  #210  
Old 11-01-2013, 04:35 AM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 648
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dagferi View Post
Honey none of us are cut out for the traditional workforce.
Well said.

I am one of the lucky ones. Or rather, one of the 'lucky' ones. I do support myself with my art. But I often work 16 hour days, 6 days a week...or more...at my art, at promotions, at keeping life and the household running smoothly.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 03:28 AM.