Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #131  
Old 08-27-2013, 04:22 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 374
Default

Just finished writing an 8 page note on 4x6 paper toSeven. Going to leave it for him along with a couple of items that I just can't have right now.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
Reply With Quote
  #132  
Old 08-27-2013, 05:00 PM
Cleo Cleo is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 414
Default

I'm so sorry.

Breaking up is hard, and I can't imagine what its like to remain living with someone (and his wife!) after the break up.

I've read your whole story, and I think this break up (while sad, and painful) was inevitable. Wishing you strength to cope with everything, and I hope Woodsmith (and other friends) are there for you.
__________________
early forties, straight.
the guys: Ren - husband; Curlz - bf of 2 years, Brig - bf of 7 months; Knight - non-sexual bf; MrBrown - it's complicated
Ren's girls: Lou - gf of 2 years, Liz - very new gf
Reply With Quote
  #133  
Old 08-28-2013, 05:28 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 374
Default

Just got finished assisting with stage managing musical about a live sex theatre. That was an amazing experience. Any prior theatre work I've done had been on stage not behind the scenes. While hectic and stressful it was fun.

All of us playing around while getting ready resulted in one of the actors smacking my ass (even us stage managers were dressed skanky). He did three and stopped and the first words out of my mouth was that I needed to have my ass beaten.

And I didn't get upset and missing Seven when it was done. That was something I feared but my need to be full submissive was stronger than needing him.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
Reply With Quote
  #134  
Old 08-29-2013, 04:46 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 374
Default

Comment from Woodsmith to prelude this post because it explains the post well. "This is why I don't try to comfort people, I always say the wrong thing and make it worse."

Start off, Seven and I had our first friendly conversation since last week. Was about the show I worked and how it weren't/felt. Then awkward silence because neither of us apparently know what to do. He went downstairs to the patio which is where Woodsmith was studying. After probably a half hour or forty five minutes he came back up, said goodnight very coolly, and went to bed. I went down to talk to Woodsmith.

Asked how Seven had seemed. Told broken and that Woodsmith felt everything he brought up just made it worse. Talked about the fact that even though the two of us broke up he still sees Seven as a really close friend and that I also want that friendship back but that right now I don't know how to act as just his friend when I love him so much (all true). Seven stated he felt the same essay. Both of them talked about that while Seven and I are good for each other and Lamian and he are good for each other the two of us girls aren't good for each other. Seven admitted that he couldn't handle being inbetween us any more and just gave up fighting. Said that she and I needed to work out our shit.

Knowing he was broken broke me more because I want to be able to comfort him and can't because I don't know how as just a friend at the moment. Also got pissed about the thing with me and Lamian not working on our shit because first I wanted and asked for the three of us to have a sit down with a mediator and the reason I hangs approached her on anything was threefold. One, she wasn't present to talk to even when she was home. Two, if she bottled stuff up and snapped at him I was afraid she'd be worse to me because she doesn't love me. And three, he asked me because he said we weren't at a spot we could talk to have him be a go-between. Woodsmith is wondering if despite saying that Seven realized he couldn't do it anymore.

As for where we go from here I guess Seven put it best talking to Woodsmith. Same shit, different day.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
Reply With Quote
  #135  
Old 08-29-2013, 05:35 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 374
Default

Threw caution (emotional caution) to the wind this morning and asked Seven before he left for work why, if him being a buffer between both Lamian and I was hurting him so much did he keep telling me not to talk to her yet. He told me that he had no other reason for it other than he thought it was the best plan and that he was apparently wrong.

He then apologized for being as distant and cold as he has been lately. Told me that throughout all of this I have not done anything wrong and that there wasn't even a small part of him that was mad or upset with me. Just that he feels he has to act this way so he doesn't fall apart.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
Reply With Quote
  #136  
Old 08-30-2013, 01:06 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 374
Default

So not wanting to be here tonight but really have nowhere to go. Today is the first day that Lamian has been home since Seven broke up with me.

I'm already breaking down enough when she isn't here and now I have to share space with a horrible person.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
Reply With Quote
  #137  
Old 08-31-2013, 03:09 AM
MeeraReed MeeraReed is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: East Coast, U.S.
Posts: 349
Default

So sorry, Cat. This sounds awful and painful.

Focus on taking care of yourself and on finding a new place to live.
__________________
Single, straight, female, solo, non-monogamous.
Reply With Quote
  #138  
Old 08-31-2013, 05:59 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 374
Default

So today on top of everything going on at home had my d&c to try and figure out bleeding issues. Got home to just Lamian being home and the two of us were able to be fairly civil. Later Darkeyes came over, then Woodsmith got home, then Seven. A few interesting things either took place or I learned.

1) It sucks with just Seven home because of the awkwardness we both have of still wanting our relationship. It's worse if Lamian is also home because I still have to see their affection when it's been denied me. If Darkeyes is also there it's currently the worst because it's the slap in the face that she still has get second relationship and we can't.

2) This was the first time I really noticed how this hurts Seven. He got home, sees me (at that moment just upset from the pain) crying, turns and takes a step towards me and then just has his face fall.

3) I also got to see just how much he is still in tuned to me (we always were even when we were just friends) and his attempts to still look out for me. While everyone was at the house I just start getting worse and worse. Everybody else seems to think it's from the surgery. Darkeyes leaves and the rest of us watch a movie. I'm on the couch all stretched out, Woodsmith is sitting at the one of the couch, Lamian is sitting iv the chair next to where my head is. As Seven walks by she scootches over and motions for him to cuddle on the chair with her. He tells her no and walks over to the other side of the room to sit in another chair.

Despite the relationship seeming to be dead (at not even with an undead zombie/vampire ability) at least it does seem the friendship between Seven and I will probably be salvaged. And I realized that Lamian either doesn't realize (what I think I believe is more likely) or doesn't care she's causing me such distress.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
Reply With Quote
  #139  
Old 08-31-2013, 12:54 PM
YouAreHere's Avatar
YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
Posts: 783
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CattivaGattina View Post
And I realized that Lamian either doesn't realize (what I think I believe is more likely) or doesn't care she's causing me such distress.
And if she doesn't realize it, and nobody tells her, how is she ever going to?

I know it's difficult to "rock the boat" when you're stuck living with them, but why shouldn't all the cards be on the table? I TOLD my ex why I didn't want to watch TV with him after we separated but were still living together. He didn't get it, but I at least told him where I was coming from.

How is the hunt for the new place going? Hoping for the best...
__________________
Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids, two cats, one house with many projects.
Chops: My partner of ~3 years. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

My navel-gazing blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
My slightly more polished blog (external): From Baltic to Boardwalk
Reply With Quote
  #140  
Old 08-31-2013, 02:54 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 374
Default

Been finding places. Though about looking at one today bit may wait till Monday because I can naturally move without shooting pain.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 09:37 AM.