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  #101  
Old 07-27-2013, 02:07 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Finally had a chance this morning to reconnect with Seven. And he is working on making sure we have time together. We had a little bit this morning because even though he was only gone for a week for both of us it's felt like we've been apart for longer. Then tomorrow is a day complete for the two of us. And because our D&D group wants to meet on Wednesday he's going to make sure we get another time together.

One thing I'm kinda confused/concerned about is we did fall back into our old dynamic. He led to it. I know that he and Lamian had a long talk about things yesterday but I don't know if things have gotten more laid back or if he's decided to act like her almost (not actually do the thing that the other needs to have things be okay).
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  #102  
Old 07-30-2013, 10:03 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Currently sitting in an er. Been bleeding for two weeks heavily despite my birth control. In May this happened for a week and a half and my gyno recommended taking two pills for two days. When I tried that this time it didn't work and when I called to set up an appointment they told me to go to the er. I'm slightly terrified.
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Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
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Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
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  #103  
Old 08-02-2013, 03:44 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Sometimes I wish my hearing wasn't as attuned as it is (or that it was ever more so) because when I catch random parts of something sitting in a room next to people whispering then my mind goes haywire.

Seven and Lamian were talking. Seven mentioned that he had been trying to quell how he thinks/feels about me but hasn't. That's really all I heard (worked to ignore the rest and had to go potty) but then my head went off on me.

So I'm becoming a bit of a mess again.
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Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
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Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
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  #104  
Old 08-04-2013, 10:31 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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I'm reaching my breaking point. Don't be surprised if the next post I make in this blog is about the end of my relationship.
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Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #105  
Old 08-05-2013, 12:28 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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So I lied, one more post before I fear things explode.

I doubt I'm even going to have the chance to say what I need to say (which actually IS something that can make things work out with all the people in this group) because I think I'm going to be vetoed just because A) I'm upset (I guess I'm not allowed to own my feelings) have stated I am and am showing it. and B) That I'm wanting to only talk to Seven right now about it because I'm not ready to address it with Lamian (which means I'm not allowed to own when I discuss how I'm feeling).

Part of me feels that even though I love him, if Seven lets this happen without talking to me I'm better off without him in my life.
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Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
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Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
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  #106  
Old 08-05-2013, 03:33 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Okay, maybe not as bad I thought. He apparently talked with Lamian about the fact that what she has been doing to me is unfair and doing nothing but hurting me.

I added on when he was telling me about this that with how she's acting makes it difficult for me to have time with Seven without throwing Woodsmith away because she'll tell him he can have time with me the day of which means I can't talk to Woodsmith about things. And that set up still has me feeling that I'm only supposed to be there for him if she can't be.

Also stated that since she expects and demands so much freedom in her relationship with her secondary the fact she refuses the same extension for me has left me feeling not like a secondary relationship but less than a person.

Finally ended it with if things don't change I can't keep doing this because of how much I'm falling apart but I know losing him while we are still wanting each other will make me fall apart just as bad. Mentioned that now it seems to be a waiting game since he told her things need to change to because it isn't fair to me. After which he tools me it can't just be waiting something drastic needs to happen to prove Lamian isn't just trying to hurt me.
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Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #107  
Old 08-05-2013, 07:53 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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I need to stay out of hospitals. Now sitting in a work related care center because a person I support at my job hit me in the head four times and pulled my hair. And may have given me a concussion.

I don't make enough there for that.
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  #108  
Old 08-08-2013, 05:40 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CattivaGattina View Post
I need to stay out of hospitals. Now sitting in a work related care center because a person I support at my job hit me in the head four times and pulled my hair. And may have given me a concussion.

I don't make enough there for that.
That's terrible! Can't you press charges for assault?
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  #109  
Old 08-08-2013, 10:47 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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I don't know. I support people with developmental disabilities and it was one of them who did that. There is going to be a meeting with his home staff to decide what to do but until then I was told if he approaches me I'm to walk in the opposite direction of him, even if it means leaving the building.

On a note of things with Seven. I had a minor breakdown yesterday with him (emotional not mad) and through it addressed my fear that we were doing something we weren't supposed to with the play still. He told me that when he talked to Lamian she was fine with us having some sort of a dynamic as long as it wasn't 24/7, a full M/s one, or have it become a lifestyle. He informed me I'm still his pet, he does still own me, we can when it's just us (even in public) have a full submissive/slave aspect.

Once he told me that it felt like a weight had lifted off my chest. I think having this complete feeling of being lost had taken things that, yes would just give a small sting of "that would be something I'd love to be able to have" and just send me reeling down a dark spiral.
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Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #110  
Old 08-10-2013, 04:16 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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So I think it was about a week or so I mentioned being in the hospital because of bleeding. Wednesday I my OB/GYN to have a follow up. Been doing som research and since this has been going on (bleeding or period issues) for 7 years I'm going to get her to give me an endometrial ablation.
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Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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