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  #11  
Old 10-18-2012, 12:45 AM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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There isn't a secret formula to meet people who are going to fit into your lives. Going to local meetups in your area and just talking to people with no expectations is a good way to start.

Triads that work are usually something people fall into rather than something they seek out. Many many couples who are new to poly are seeking exactly what you are seeking (I was too at one time). I've come to realize though that real authentic relationships can't be planned or controlled. I'd rather be in a happy V where the arms of the V are friends are really care about each other rather than being in a triad where someone involved is, for lack of a better term, taking one for the team.

Consider being open to relationships seperately, even if you still have the ideal of having a triad. The triad might happen but if you're turning down every person one or the other of you is connecting with think of all the happiness you'll be missing out on.
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Old 10-18-2012, 01:44 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlazenBurn View Post
I guess I'm a one of those mythical unicorns.

At first we talked about how "nice" it would be if we could form a triad. We had great fantasies about how we would all mesh together. Then we were hit by reality. Triads are not easy. Period. We were not able to make it work as a triad. Now we are in a Vee.
Ergo, you are not a mythical beast who fell out of the sky to join a perfectly balanced relationship with two other people. You're just a normal human being who happens to be polyamorous.

Calling them unicorns is never about saying that there are no women out there who want to be in a relationship with two other people. I know there are. The term stems from the fact that even with those intentions, the reality is that it usually doesn't work and ends up either in a Vee at best, or a big pile or heartache at worst.

The fundamental problem with this request isn't even that it's looking for a third person to add to their marriage. It's that someone is looking for a "perfect partner" and that's even less realistic than finding a compatible third wheel. I personally think no one is "perfect" for anyone. If they were, they wouldn't challenge you and neither of you would never grow. Well, that's my bias anyway.
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Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 10-18-2012 at 02:08 AM.
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