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  #171  
Old 10-11-2010, 11:49 PM
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I dont think there is a misunderstanding, I could be wrong, but I have been honest with K thru this whole ordeal. I have told K, multiple times, that I dont trust her. I have told her that I want to rebuild our trust, rebuild our relationship. But every time I turn I find that she is still hiding things and she is still in contact with H. I think the only reason that she stayed with me is because of the kids and I am making good money. Again, I could be wrong. Any ways thats my mess I call life.
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  #172  
Old 10-21-2010, 02:09 PM
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After going to bed last night, I laid there thinking( I have a hard time turning my brain off). I feel like all I am is a babysitter,maid,handyman,mechanic,paycheck, and occasional piece of ass! I have been putting everything into rebuilding our relationship, but I feel like I'm getting very little, if anything, in return. I am working on forgiving, forgetting is a whole other story, I am trying to let the past go.
I have never been one for forgiveness. When I am wronged or hurt, I tend to shut those people out of my life. I am trying very hard to not let that happen this time. I also don't have alot of patience. I tend to want things to happen now, not later. So now I must learn to forgive and have patience that things will work out for the better.
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  #173  
Old 10-21-2010, 10:14 PM
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All I can say is ((((((((((((((racer812))))))))))))))) & lots more if you need 'em.
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  #174  
Old 10-22-2010, 02:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by racer812 View Post
When I am wronged or hurt, I tend to shut those people out of my life.
I feel ya. I'm dealing with that kinda crap too right now. I don't blame you for feeling this way, but please try to be patient. I would really hate for it all to end this way for you.
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  #175  
Old 10-29-2010, 02:26 PM
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Its been a very busy couple of weeks. My mood is a bit better. Now my K and my little ones are on their way to my home town for a Halloween party with some of my family. I am so paranoid that K has something planned that I am having my cousin keep his eye on her. Its small town, so if anything goes on, I will know.
What a terrible think to have to do. I wish I could trust her more. What a pathetic person I have become. I am so paranoid and worried that K is still planning things with H. Wow! I need to change or I need a change.
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  #176  
Old 10-29-2010, 05:15 PM
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So what will you do when you find out that she has done nothing?


Or that she has done something?
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  #177  
Old 10-29-2010, 05:23 PM
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Originally Posted by racer812 View Post
What a pathetic person I have become. I am so paranoid and worried that K is still planning things with H. Wow! I need to change or I need a change.
Not pathetic, smart and cautious. If nothing happens, she will have gained a little of your trust. If something does happen, you have a warning system that can protect yourself and your kids.
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  #178  
Old 11-10-2010, 04:12 PM
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Haven't had time to post any updates, been so busy at work and gettin ready for a trip to the dunes. Cant wait to go!
The home life was going good, until we went out and K got a new tattoo. It doesn't bother me that she got some more work done, what bothers me is what she had put on her body. the new tat is of a chrysanthemum, it is the birth flower of November! And guess what! Thats the month that H was born! When I asked her about the flower she told me that its her grandmothers birth flower. Ok. Then when I asked her the next day she said that the flower was a carnation! And finally when I asked her the day after that she said its her grandmothers favorite flower! Am I that F ing stupid!?! So now, K says that I'm crazy and I am making stuff up in my head. Perhaps I am crazy. But when you have someone who you love and all they do is lie to you, would it make you crazy?
So now, K blames me for making stuff up and driving her away. I guess she expects me to sit quietly and let her do whatever she thinks up. The only saving grace is that her schedule and my schedule dont allow us to see each other. I'm still very hurt. I'm also not sure what to do.
Thanks for reading.
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  #179  
Old 11-17-2010, 05:43 PM
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Update! Well had a good mini vacation. Just us and the little ones. Had some long talks with K, sitting at the campfire. I think we might have come to an understanding. K and I are basically going to start over. If that makes sense. We have finally come to an understanding. We are still a work in progress, but I think most people are that way. Its the only way we learn and evolve.
I have also made K jealous, not intentional, my H.S. sweety is goin thru a really tough time right now and called me to talk. I did not hide the fact that L called me and I told K what we talked about. It still made her jealous, so I made a point to spend some "alone time" with her.
So, heres to learning and growing as a human.
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  #180  
Old 11-17-2010, 06:21 PM
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Well, this is definatly good news to hear. Anything new on the tat?
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