Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Introductions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 09-14-2012, 09:32 PM
blurryb blurryb is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 6
Default Here in Gerogia...

I am in a newly formed triad. I have been married for 12 years to my husband. About 2 years ago I accepted my sexuality and told hubby that I am bisexual. We have fallen in love with our girlfriend and she has recently within this month moved in with us. We have 3 children total and they do not know the dynamics of the relationship as they are young.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 09-16-2012, 09:14 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 954
Default

Welcome to the forums!

We often read here that co-habitation is a difficult step. (One that I, personally, tend to take on way faster than is generally recommended...like immediately).

I am curious as to how the cohabitation is working out for you and your sleeping arrangements (another hot topic on here at times - we sleep three to a king-size bed, but there are no kids in our mix - I'm sure others here would be interested in knowing the ages of you kids and your plans for introducing them to the dynamics of your situation).

JaneQ
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3 yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS; married to TT, poly male
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 09-16-2012, 03:46 PM
blurryb blurryb is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 6
Default response

I won't say it has been easy. Well at first it was easy cause we were all completely enamored with each other. Now it is up and down. She struggles, I struggle, hubby struggles. The worst of it has been when she struggles sheshuts down and clams up where as hubby and I have always been able to talk about things. It takes her a little bit to wrap her head around her own thoughts and it is hard to watch her struggle and not be let in. I am a lot more affectionate and think I might have an addiciton to physical affection so when I am stressed or upset I long for it. I cant understand her need for seperation.

The only ones who dont seem to be struggling are the kids. They are adjusting well. The girls are 4 and 7 and they love having a "sister". We also have a 9 year old son. I think the kids will figure it out on their own in their own time. Our 7 year old has already made mention of stuff that let's us know she is in one what is going on. She doesnt understand anything in regards to sexual relations but she knows we are all attracted to each other.

We also sleep three to a king bed. Sometimes one of us has to deal with the kids. The 4 year old has not been used to sleeping alone so we are working on that.

In regards to co habitation it has been very hard for me to relinquish some control of the household. It was hard to let her take over laundry from time to time. I love the help but it is just weird having someone else do that.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 09-16-2012, 08:02 PM
Anek's Avatar
Anek Anek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Munich, Germany
Posts: 45
Default

Hello and welcome!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 09-17-2012, 08:46 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 3,600
Default

Hi blurryb,
Welcome to our forum.

Sounds like you have a challenging but rewarding situation. I'm glad to hear the kids are adjusting well.

Nice to have you on our website, hope you enjoy your stay.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 09-18-2012, 06:40 PM
Dolly Dolly is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 15
Default

Any relationship worth having takes work, adjustment, and open communication. We all have routines, whether we are aware of them or not. When our routines get disturbed, it is sometimes uncomfortable.

I think I may be more like your girlfriend--I need to process before I can talk things out. It may seem like shutting down from your perspective, but some people (like myself) need to question their own thoughts and feelings before they can be communicated. I may be angry, but I may not know why I am angry and need time to figure it out. I guess the question is, does she eventually talk it out, or are issues never discussed?

Open communication is very important, but understanding everyone's need to process is key as well. Mona can articulate herself well in the moment. She is very in tune with her feelings. I need to find the root of my emotions before I can verbalize them, or it comes out a muddled mess.

Relationships sure can be a rollercoaster ride!

~Dolly
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 09-18-2012, 06:52 PM
blurryb blurryb is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 6
Default

Yes eventually things are talked about. So far most of it had been issues that each person just had to deal with on their own.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 02:10 PM.