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  #11  
Old 10-31-2013, 12:14 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dirtclustit View Post
. . . they willing choose hell, and if you all do too, then I will go somewhere else . . .
Oh, I think everyone chooses hell... ???

Honestly, DC, I am not sure what it is you are trying to say nor how it pertains to the blog post that was shared, or anything else in this thread. What are you going on about? If you are going to respond to very old threads, which is perfectly fine with me, can you at least try to be more clear and to the point - so at least we know why you felt so compelled to bring the thread to everyone's attention again? Thanks!
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #12  
Old 10-31-2013, 06:33 AM
london london is offline
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Ok firstly, polyamory isn't a group dynamic. For some people, it is, but for most it isn't. It's individuals who have multiple romantic relationships.



I can imagine this is relevant for people who can't trust their partners and feel the need to protect theumselves and their relationships from everyone because their partners have failed to do so in the past. I fail to see why I have to interact directly with someone to consider their needs. I just need to know where my metamours needs could clash with mine and aid my partner is finding a happy compromise. After all, he is the one who has to maintain the relationships he builds. What I have to understand is thqt I've signed up for poly relationships, the people I'm involved with will not only have the usual responsibilities but also other romantic relationships and I have to understand that they have these things and need to keep these things and I definitely need to avoid making it harder for him to do.this. It would really help if I did things that would make it easier for him to maintain his responsibilities. I don't need to operate as a group to get this. I don't need to meet a metamour to understand that I could hurt them simply by changing my relationship with our partner or basically being inconsiderate of.their role in his life. I've said previously that I think the majority of times people insist on this group stuff is.because it offers a modicum of control where there is or has been a lack in trust.

Last edited by london; 10-31-2013 at 06:38 AM.
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