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  #171  
Old 01-04-2011, 12:45 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MindfulAgony View Post

I do live in Seattle though. Odds are slightly more favorable in this particular milieu.
I have to wholeheartedly agree with this part. We moved from Seattle about 5 yrs ago...and even back then, it was a great and friendly place to meet people.
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  #172  
Old 01-04-2011, 06:20 AM
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Default Local groups

www.meetup.com seems to list a number of live poly groups in many/most major cities. Just do a search for "Polyamory" under your zip code.
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  #173  
Old 01-07-2011, 11:12 PM
eklctc eklctc is offline
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I don't think it makes a different either way. As Van said, it's really about the person you find.
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  #174  
Old 02-26-2011, 06:31 PM
X-User2455 X-User2455 is offline
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Default How to meet people ?

HI there, My husband and I are both poly. We have different desires (he prefers to stay mostly emotionally monogamous, where as I do not). We have found a single woman last year who was our "unicorn" and my "gf". I was really WONDERFUL. We would like to find another woman, first for myself (hubby prefers for me to meet with her, since both physical and emotional chemistry are of equal importance to me, rather then mostly sexual as with him).

I have tried dating sites, craigslist (which is how i met my prior GF, and it was actually by accident - i will elaborate below) and some other sites. I am thinking of possibly going to some meetups nearby us (were in NY/tri state, it seems there are meetups) but am not sure if we will find what we are looking for there. We have done the swinging thing (actually how we were introduced to the concept of being more "open") which we enjoy, but for me (female half) i am truly Bi and have no desire of being with a man outside of my H, just a F. We know a few single W with whom we can play but its almost purely sexual. We want someone single (preferably) or in a open RL without the man, someone we can travel with, have occasional sleepovers (or even just the girls).. that sort of thing. Its not just about sex here.

So, to elaborate about how I met my prior GF. My hubby was OK w/ me exploring on my own for a bit. He gave the thumbs up to go and find a woman all for myself. I placed an ad looking for a woman / bi friend on CL, and found my W. In a short time, my H started feeling left out and didn't like it. He told me that he wanted to exercise his veto power (which we both have) and that i needed to end things. I offered to him that she seemed very open, and perhaps i could propose the idea of adding him into things for some "group fun" on occasion. I figured i had nothing to loose. Well, i offered and she was totally all for it. So, it all worked out with her. Now, she left the country (as i had anticipated) and while i found her rather quickly, this time around i have been searching for like 3 months now, and have made some friends, but mostly women who have some serious drama/baggage going on in their lives.

Im getting so frustrated, as is my H. Its straining on our RL. We both have decided however to relax, and start enjoying one another (we have been getting really wrapped up in our search and perhaps neglecting one another). I am going to keep placing ads, and keep looking, but just in a more chill fashion and wait for the right person to come along.

Anyhow, sorry for the part vent/ part cry out for help or suggestions. How have you all met your special person?

ps - i was thinking of changing things up for our ads, and trying to place some from the male perspective. I have never done that before, and wonder if that might reach a different type of woman?

Last edited by X-User2455; 02-26-2011 at 06:44 PM.
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  #175  
Old 02-26-2011, 07:00 PM
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Have you searched the forum for ideas? Here's a big thread that discusses this:

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2835
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Last edited by nycindie; 02-26-2011 at 07:09 PM.
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  #176  
Old 02-26-2011, 11:40 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Have you searched the forum for ideas? Here's a big thread that discusses this:

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2835
This has been merged with that.
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  #177  
Old 02-27-2011, 01:02 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mindseye View Post
ps - i was thinking of changing things up for our ads, and trying to place some from the male perspective. I have never done that before, and wonder if that might reach a different type of woman?
You could as well ask what kind of women would be interested in being the unicorn in the first place? There are good threads about that in other places (What's in it for an unicorn?, for example), but chances are that if your hubby has his own jealousy to deal with and isn't interested in getting to know the woman in any other than on a sexual level, you'd be happier (and more successful) to pursue a vee and work with hubby on the jealousy.
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  #178  
Old 02-27-2011, 09:28 PM
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doing a search in the tags for "unicorn," "unicorns" will bring everything up... you might want to look at "veto" "veto power" as well. There is a really good thread on "the rights of a secondary" too... to be found with a tag search on "secondaries" "secondary"
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  #179  
Old 03-16-2011, 04:36 AM
Loveisshadesofgrey Loveisshadesofgrey is offline
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Default Where to look?

I'm new to Poly and through research and self discovery, I know this is something I'd like to try. It just feels like it's the right direction to go. But my problem is that everything I find when it comes to advice for where to look for lover(s) it's for a couple seeking a third or another couple. I have yet to really find anything to help singles seek out a couple. I've tried looking around the internet, dating sites, and even posted on Craigslist to see what I'd get (though it got flagged and taken down, despite being well written and unoffensive).

I'm only 20 so I can't just go out to a bar and try and pick up a couple, and I've moved to a new city only a couple of months ago, so I have no family or friends here. No familiarity with the city, so I don't even know where to start.

I think it'd be easier if there was some semblance of a kink community here, but there isn't even that.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated~
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  #180  
Old 03-16-2011, 05:10 AM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Loveisshadesofgrey View Post
I'm only 20 so I can't just go out to a bar and try and pick up a couple,...
Take a road-trip to Canada and that won't be a problem anymore.

On a more serious note, rather than starting off at looking for a couple, perhaps start with finding like minded individuals who might also be interested in poly...

Collages and Universities should be full of young open minded co-eds....I hope anyways. Can't speak to your actual location, perhaps someone more familiar with the local politics could, but I know that's where'd I'd be looking ...when I was 20.

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approaching someone, asking people out, dating, finding someone, first time, flirting, married and dating, meet ups, meeting new partners, meeting people, okc, online dating, poly dating, primary, primary/secondary, secondary, sex, small town, solo, third partner, thirds

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