Poly-Dating: How to meet like-minded people

[Breathesgirl]

Not looking is how I found both of my loves.

[nebillingscouple]

Originally Posted by ironhed85

Jamie,

I have been stuck in the quagmire of the swinger scene for the last year with my girlfriend who is an ex-swinger. The relationships that have I formed within the scene have helped me better understand myself and realize that I have no business there. I have been trying to tune into the polyamoury scene as that is my true orientation but have found there are very few resources on the interenet for dating and organizations. I personally think that AFF, Ashleigh Madison, sexsearch.com, are a waste of time as the ratio of men to women is obscene.

I am sorry that I cannot offer any suggestions as to polyam dating sites, If you find anthing good that is regional, please let me know.

Regards,

Philip

Quagmire can certainly describe the swinger scene, and seems to be a pretty accurate portrayal in the region where I hang my hat at the end of the day. We started opening our marriage via this lifestyle as a way of my wife exploring the bisexuality she had finally acknowledged has been in her mind since before we met in high school. Where that adventure has taken us, I never would have predicted, nor would I have expected to find what we have. But that's a topic for its own thread.

But I do have a question; one that I already have a pretty good idea on the answer, but will ask it anyway. Par for the course, I register on sites using a username that befits us both. When discussing topics in this realm, I'm thinking I should re-register under a name unique to me and let this username fall by the wayside. Thoughts?

[redpepper]

Originally Posted by nebillingscouple

I'm thinking I should re-register under a name unique to me and let this username fall by the wayside. Thoughts?

I always prefer when people have their own username as it gets very confusing after awhile. This forum is like a unicorn. I kind of see it much like some poly relationships, they start with two and then they break into three, into a triad with a unicorn and the original couple ends up being far more independent that they were in a monogamous couple. Not only that one person falls in love with the other more and then a complication ensues that leads to a vee with that one person participating more with the new person. This forum tends to turn from unicorn to an arm of a vee.

[SchrodingersCat]

Well, just to fuel my "stop looking" argument... so I've recently been feeling a little lonely, the distance of my husband's out-of-town job getting to me, and then being alone on Thanksgiving... started thinking it'd be nice to meet some new people. Just put that thought out in the universe, then sit around and wash the car, rake some leaves, and watch tv. The next day, someone friended me on gay.com... turns out we have a lot in common, live in the same neighbourhood, and she empathized with my description of "monogamy just doesn't make sense to me" ... even after I mentioned that I'm married, she still wants to go on a date!

I love the power of intention!

[TL4everu2]

Ever watch the movie "The Secret"? It's all about putting your thoughts into the universe. Just sayin.

[redpepper]

Originally Posted by TL4everu2

Ever watch the movie "The Secret"? It's all about putting your thoughts into the universe. Just sayin.

"The secret's" awesome except that it teaches to use the power of intention to gain "stuff" like boats and houses to posess, rather than create more love in the world or compassion in our lives. It doesn't teach "power of intent" for what's good for all but what is good for *me,* in essence, how to be selfish. It worries me because selfishness sometimes breeds lonliness as it can isolate us from others. In poly dating one needs to be considerate of all the others a person is involved with. The power of intent would be useful in terms of creating a happy and healthy tribe for all rather than to benefit one person. "the secret" would be a useful movie to watch if the perspective of it is kept in mind. Just my opinion though.

[jns4ever]

Hi,

I am new here and was wondering if anyone can point me/us in the right direction. My BF and I want to find a woman to join our relationship. We are not looking to be with anyone outside of the relationship but lookig to build an exclusive triad.

We've tried a few poly sites but nothing has panned out. Since I am looking for a bi female, do we go to a lesbian bar (will they tolerate my BF being there?)? The perfect way would be to meet someone, become friends and then find out they are bi but that could take years.

We also tried craigslist (I know, dangerous but my BF is quite up on the scams and will always be with me to make sure we are safe) because we saw a lot of MW4W ads. Some even mention poly relationships so I guess we're making progress.

Anyway, we live in the DC area (Northern VA) and any ideas anyone can give us would be great.

[Ariakas]

Do a search for the term "unicorn". There has been a lot of discussion on finding the mysterious bi-sexual, fully committed, single adult female.

[jns4ever]

Really...seems like people are belittling the idea. I am bi and fully committed so if my BF and I break up I'm a unicorn?

[Ariakas]

Originally Posted by jns4ever

Really...seems like people are belittling the idea. I am bi and fully committed so if my BF and I break up I'm a unicorn?

Sorry you read that wrong. A unicorn is the mythical 3rd who will commit to a couple, is bisexual and equally interested in both. Oh and is single.