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Old 05-22-2010, 05:52 PM
DOUBLExTROUBLE DOUBLExTROUBLE is offline
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We are a open minded couple looking to meet another open minded female who has the same interests as us. We are looking for someone who is open minded and honest upfront, compassionate, respectful, understanding and just a all around good person that we can learn to trust. We are looking to meet someone and just take it one step at a time and see where it goes. We are up for a good time in many different ways. In return when we find that special someone we are willing to share everything we have with them as long as we are not being used. We want someone who is willing to except us for who we are and what we want. We want someone that will share the same compassion and love towards both of us with no secrets or putting on a front. We are as real as it gets and we expect that in return.
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Old 05-22-2010, 07:53 PM
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Breathesgirl Breathesgirl is offline
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Hello & welcome.

That sounds an awful lot like what we're looking for as well, throw in a drama free relationship & it's all good .
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Old 05-22-2010, 08:30 PM
DOUBLExTROUBLE DOUBLExTROUBLE is offline
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I agree no drama at all. And you have to have trust with in everyone and everyone has to be open and honest or else it will never work.
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Old 05-22-2010, 09:56 PM
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Originally Posted by DOUBLExTROUBLE View Post
I agree no drama at all. And you have to have trust with in everyone and everyone has to be open and honest or else it will never work.
Very true. Communication and trust, two of the cornerstones of a successful relationship!

There's bound to be some drama simply because we are humans. We can, however learn to minimize it and control it when it enters our lives.
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Old 05-23-2010, 05:44 AM
danapointdaddy danapointdaddy is offline
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Default drama/

drama can be exciting... negative, neurotic drama is a turn off tho...

we are a couple new to LA, looking for a fun girlfriend... up to and including full time/live in...

love the intellectual challenge and openness and thrill of poly! love that my new wife wants us to have and share a girlfriend, god, what a fantastic woman I have...

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Old 05-23-2010, 08:44 PM
DOUBLExTROUBLE DOUBLExTROUBLE is offline
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Default Were we stand at this point.....

We to also just got involved with this. We have been together 5 years! I have two other children almost 7 and 9 years old and then together him and I have two ! almost three and 7 months. I have/had a best friend and we were both very attracted to her and drinking with her a few times a few things happened with her and I. My other half grew to get to know her and developed feelings for her as well. I have known her a little over a year.

Anyways her and I worked together we would go tanning together almost every morning. I paid for her of coarse and at the time I never minded at all. Aside from that we would go get something to eat after wards I would pay. Mind you she doesnt have a job.She had recently lost her job. Anyways a side from all that she helped us in other ways she would help with the kids and the house and so on. Anyways so I would go shopping and she would tag along with me it was nice. But we would get her all kinds of things she wanted clothes, shirts,skirts, bras,underwear, free gas, and cigs, and so on. We spent alot of money on her and never expected anything in return except for honesty.

You know when your around someone for almost 3 straight months you know how they act there is almost a routine developed and that was for sure the case. She was calling me to see if I was free every day at the same time when I would get off work. After awhile it became an every day thing. We would drink every Saturday night. We were learning new things about her everyday as well things other people she knows she would not tell them. We both were falling in love with her it would get to a point were she was telling us both she loved us before she would leave to go home. After awhile she would touch feet with us and never have a problem with it.

My other half and I decided together it was time to come out with exactly how we feel but we wanted to do it sober with out any alcohol. So she was well aware of how we felt for some time and things kind of just kept going on the way they were, Then eventually she would come over and it was like almost use us and then she would leave earlier and earlier every day. She told us one night she didnt feel good and was going to go home and go to bed her not living very far I just felt like I was being lied to and used so I went to check. She was not home she went out. I knew it. We were hurt so badly.

The next day she was confronted with it and and said she was went for a drive to clear her head we dont by it but we give her the benefit of the doubt. Every thing goes on for a bit longer and finally she stops coming over as much she knows how we feel and leads us to believe she wants the same thing but will sit there on line throwing it in our faces that she is talking to another guy. Us being ok with her talking to who ever again all we wanted was honesty. And we were not getting that at all. We were willing to except things about her no one else would. Or atleast she thinks they wouldnt. I dont know.I know this week has been the hardest week of our lives. She came over we all sat down to talk about everything and all she could say was that she loved us as best friends. Thats all she wanted.

Well if that was all she wanted then why would she do the things she did. Why would she rub on me and on my guy and then tell us she loves us all the time. It was almost for awhile like she wanted it but was afraid of it being excepted and then maybe we thought it was just that she wanted my guy and she didnt want me, but she would always get a hold of me. I had told her plenty of times I want them to touch and be comfortable with each other. Now after the conversation though we havent seen her in a couple days. She hasnt gotten a hold of me or anything and this is after her getting a hold of me on a daily basis for over a year.

I found myself becoming jealous. And I really wasnt sure of what. I thought about it and realized if everyone would have just been open and honest it would have never been like that and it wasnt me and my guy who wasnt being honest. She knew how I felt cause I had told her and she knew how my guy felt cause he had told her we just didnt know how she felt flat out and we had never come out with all our feeling in front of each other until that day. It just bothers me alot. She could of had so much we all could have. And now I feel like I either lost my best friend or she was never my best friend to begin with. Maybe I dont really know what thats like.I know my guy is my best friend though I know that with out a doubt. I share everything with him even if I know it is going to disappoint him. Because I love him.

To me it is so much more than a sex thing it is about sharing our love with another female and having her give her love back. It is about being there for each other helping each other out and that one more set of hands. It is about being open minded open hearted honest caring and compassionate and empathetic for another s feelings as well as yours and your spouses. The thing about her is I have never felt so comfortable around another female in my life. we had so much in common and we so much alike in different ways, I loved her. Who am I kidding we both still do love her when it comes down to it. I let myself become vulnerable. I let my guard down and left my heart open.

Let me tell you she had a boyfriend and he was not the greatest to her, She came to me so many times before all of this and told me she wanted to leave him. Through all of this she was away from him and I am sure now that is where she has gone back to. That hurts. I dont want we dont want to see her get hurt like that, But if she doesn't want to help her self there is nothing more I can do for her. I am trying to learn to let go and it is alot easier said than done. It is also alot easier said than done to find another person. Someone who meets your standards because I have very high standards. I keep hoping and dreaming she will change her mind and she will walk through our door but I am only kidding myself. I am sure I have left out alot of details. But that is some what were we stand at this point.

Last edited by DOUBLExTROUBLE; 05-23-2010 at 10:22 PM.
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Old 05-23-2010, 10:11 PM
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Would you mind throwing in some paragraph breaks there? This giant thing is a little to daunting for some of us. Thanks!!!

Thank you so much. I saw that and my eyes just bugged out.
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Last edited by vandalin; 05-23-2010 at 11:13 PM.
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  #8  
Old 05-23-2010, 10:18 PM
DOUBLExTROUBLE DOUBLExTROUBLE is offline
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Sorry
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Old 05-23-2010, 11:27 PM
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vandalin vandalin is offline
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Yeah, big ouch there. I kinda know what you are feeling. I had a similar experience with Elric and after almost a year of trying to figure things out, we are now, finally, very good friends.

The hardest part for me was putting a stop to the wishing. Wishing he'd email, wishing he'd call, wishing for more. When we finally got to sit down (online) and discuss things, a lot of what was said ended up being the "that's what I meant to say, I'm sorry if it didn't come out that way" type of thing. Basically a miss-communication.

I do have a question or two for you though. You said that you and the hubby told your friend how you two felt, but you didn't tell us her response to your declaration, only the after effects. Another question, is she really bi or is she just comfortable being semi-physical with her female friends?

Personally, I have friends to whom I say "I love you" all the time, that doesn't mean that I want anything more than a platonic friendship or that I find them sexually attractive.

I do wish you luck on your search and especially on getting through your feelings for this other gal. You are unfortunately in a group of searchers called Unicorn Hunters, and that is a very difficult group to find success in. If you don't know about Unicorns, do a search on the forums and you will find a plethora of information.
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  #10  
Old 05-24-2010, 02:29 AM
DOUBLExTROUBLE DOUBLExTROUBLE is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vandalin View Post
Yeah, big ouch there. I kinda know what you are feeling. I had a similar experience with Elric and after almost a year of trying to figure things out, we are now, finally, very good friends.

The hardest part for me was putting a stop to the wishing. Wishing he'd email, wishing he'd call, wishing for more. When we finally got to sit down (online) and discuss things, a lot of what was said ended up being the "that's what I meant to say, I'm sorry if it didn't come out that way" type of thing. Basically a miss-communication.

I do have a question or two for you though. You said that you and the hubby told your friend how you two felt, but you didn't tell us her response to your declaration, only the after effects. Another question, is she really bi or is she just comfortable being semi-physical with her female friends?

Personally, I have friends to whom I say "I love you" all the time, that doesn't mean that I want anything more than a platonic friendship or that I find them sexually attractive.

I do wish you luck on your search and especially on getting through your feelings for this other gal. You are unfortunately in a group of searchers called Unicorn Hunters, and that is a very difficult group to find success in. If you don't know about Unicorns, do a search on the forums and you will find a plethora of information.
Ok so all the times we spent the weekends together she had been kissing on me rubbing in between my legs and so on she had never really done more than let him rub her leg. I had told her previously before that my other half, he had feelings for her. Her response was she didnt want to ruin our friend ship. After telling her that He had told her over the phone how we both felt and she was pretty much floored when she found out i felt the same way as he did. She continued on to do the same things that had been happening up until we caught in a few lies.
So pretty much she just kept telling us she loved us kissing her finger then kissing his. And so on little things like that, she lead us to believe she wanted the same things and then just pretty much stop coming around when we ask her what she wanted and just said she wanted friends we told her we needed time to separate feelings. Alot harder than I ever thought it would be but she seems to be doing ok. so I guess thats what counts.
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