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Old 05-20-2010, 05:00 PM
DharmaBum23 DharmaBum23 is offline
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Hello outerworld!

Where to start? I just found this community via reviewing comments on a poly essay and it looks like an interesting place to be.

I am 34 years old, currently involved in a sortof triad(there is my girlfriend, her other boyfriend, and her girlfriend. We are involved with the girlfriend and not involved with each other. It's more of a triad because the second girlfriend also has two boyfriends and they agreed that it would be more casual).

We have been together for 5 years at this point and it is my second poly relationship.

I am primarily a Buddhist although I have some difficulty as my practice is fairly obscure and not of interest to most people who aren't doing something similar(which I've noticed a lot of poly people don't). On the other hand of all the Buddhists I know, I only know(at most) three that date one person, much less more than one and I do not discuss my dating life with any of the members of the Sangha due to the concern of being asked to leave.

The biggest thing I have going on now is that I recently decided to change my focus and stop looking for a secondary and devote my attention entirely to non-relationship socialization(through going to local meetups, that sort of thing), physical fitness(gym 3x a week minimum), and spiritual development(meditation 2x a day minimum, etc.).

The reason for the change in direction, btw, was a recent trip to Europe(which coincided with the whole ash cloud thing). But that is a story for another time as this is running a bit long.
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Old 05-20-2010, 05:18 PM
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River River is offline
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Welcome aboard, DBum!

I wouldn't think any decent sangha would toss you out because you're polyamorous. However, they may need to have poly explained to them a bit, so they know it is not to be confused with wild all night sex parties (with oiled up strangers).
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Old 05-20-2010, 06:25 PM
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Danny40179 Danny40179 is offline
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Welcome and thanks for sharing and I agree with River. Sometimes a little explanation goes a long way.

Look forward to seeing you around.
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Old 05-20-2010, 07:15 PM
DharmaBum23 DharmaBum23 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Danny40179 View Post
Welcome and thanks for sharing and I agree with River. Sometimes a little explanation goes a long way.

Look forward to seeing you around.
That's the thing. I'm involved with one of the many Dharma centers in the upstate New York area that are traditional Tibetian(technically I would be considered the Rime, or non-sectarian, tradition). The teaching themselves are quite wonderful but they tend to attract people who are only dedicated to the Dharma. I call them "Not-A-Monks". They go on month long retreats, don't have sex, and in many cases don't work and live in a monastary..but they aren't monks.

I've looked at other centers but most of the ones that have the practices and teachings I am looking for tend to have the same community(sometimes even the same people).

I usually get a confused expression when I mention that I have A girlfriend. Of course, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure that our teacher has what one would call two girlfriends(they use very different terms), so you both might be right. And I am not using the Sangha as a dating circle(that's what I use poly events for).
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