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  #11  
Old 08-29-2012, 07:41 PM
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busbuddha busbuddha is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Avatar View Post
Heh heh Thanks. We're all here, though only just now creating accounts.
Yup! Apparently, I was first to the poly podcasts, but last to the forum.
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  #12  
Old 08-29-2012, 08:27 PM
Skye Skye is offline
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Does that mean "A" has been here and I just don't know about it? I have a hard time believing that she posts on a forum!
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  #13  
Old 08-29-2012, 08:59 PM
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Yup, Buns has been around too, reading, like me.
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  #14  
Old 08-29-2012, 09:12 PM
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I'll laugh if her actual username is Buns.
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  #15  
Old 08-30-2012, 09:18 PM
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Well, welcome to all four of you, it is good to have you aboard.

Re (from Skye, Post #1):
Quote:
"I am hoping to find some community here, as it is hard to have to be in the closet with most everyone in real life."
It is, although you're doing pretty good if you're out to your close friends and family. Hopefully Polyamory.com can be a sort of support system for you. Are you out to anyone at your places of work?

Re:
Quote:
"We are not out, however, to our 11 year old son, which is a quandary. I am hoping to possibly find some support for this here."
Whatever support would be the most helpful. If you're looking for ideas about how to frame the conversation, you might tell him that the four of you are very close friends, and you just want to answer any questions he might have. It's not automatic that you would tell your 11-year-old about your sex life, but it's up to you, especially if he comes out and asks. As the parents, you have the prerogative about what you'll say and how you'll say it.

Anyway, I hope you won't hesitate to post any thoughts, questions, or concerns that you may have.

With wishing you well,
Kevin T.
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  #16  
Old 08-30-2012, 11:25 PM
Skye Skye is offline
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Hi Kevin,

I am a stay at home mom, so I don't have to worry about being out at work. My husband, Avatar, is out to his "work wife" but no one else. He doesn't really associate with anyone else at work. Busbuddha's wife is out to many people where she works, and has lost most of her friends because of it. It's unfortunate.

As far as telling our 11 year old, he knows his sister is biologically Busbuddha's daughter, and we speak very openly and honestly with him about sex and everything else, so not telling him about the 4 of us is difficult for me. I pride myself on being honest with him. Busbuddha and his wife are my children's godparents, and they are here ALL THE TIME, so he definitely knows we are best friends, and he likely knows more than that is going on. He sees us all being affectionate with each other even when we try to keep it under wraps. And he also knows we spend the night at each other's houses sometimes. He is a smart kid, but not one to pry.

Thanks for the welcome!
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  #17  
Old 08-31-2012, 12:53 AM
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Yeah, he's totally seen us being affectionate and kissing each other. We've asked him before what he thought about having Busbuddha and Buns as part of our family, and he was really excited by the idea.
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  #18  
Old 09-04-2012, 07:45 PM
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Hmmm, sounds like you could tell him, something like, "I just want you to know that the four of us are friends, and it's like as if we were married with them. If you have any questions about that, I'll be happy to answer." He sounds like a smart kid. That way at least you won't feel this burden of secrecy, and kids have a way of guessing at things, anyway.

Sorry busbuddha hasn't had as good of luck in coming out,
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  #19  
Old 09-04-2012, 08:21 PM
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No, it's actually been my wife who's had the bad luck. My family has all been pretty cool about it. Her's, not so much.
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  #20  
Old 09-04-2012, 08:36 PM
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Ohh, well, sorry to hear about that.
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