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  #11  
Old 08-26-2012, 08:24 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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nycindie, no I wasn't specifically referring to you at all.

It's more the idea of folks feeling they have to hide their poly nature, as if it's some dirty secret, until it's absolutely necessary, and certainly don't share it with friends.
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  #12  
Old 08-26-2012, 10:46 PM
LostandDelirious LostandDelirious is offline
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Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
nycindie, no I wasn't specifically referring to you at all.

It's more the idea of folks feeling they have to hide their poly nature, as if it's some dirty secret, until it's absolutely necessary, and certainly don't share it with friends.

I've been pondering a lot on peoples perspectives and I feel it differs depending on situations.
For instance, I'm in between.. Like on OKCupid, I'll announce boldly about my Polyamory just because people are seeking specific things openly and will know whether or not to continue reading a profile.

On the other hand, this is something I cannot express to even my best friend because he doesn't believe in the concept. It is something I would just rather keep him separate from that part of me.

When you're actively meeting people in person, the situation also varies. Mono or Poly it works the same way. You have to get to know the other person, talk with them, see if there is any connection after a couple dates. Then, yes, you should express yourself to them. But if there isn't, and they don't agree with your lifestyle, you make risk ending up losing someone who could be a valuable friend. While i understand certain people don't want friends who don't accept them 100%, sometimes just caring for a friend is good until you find someone you love that's right for you.

I think enjoying the moment can be better than the risk of scaring off someone who didn't have a chance to get to know anything else about you.

And yes, I do spend a lot of time thinking. Lol
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