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  #11  
Old 09-04-2012, 02:30 PM
CheshireCat CheshireCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
Amused. Your DH has the hire/fire. Consider her more like a new employee that was hired and you have to give the tour/ do some training in YOUR campus. And YOU are a new employee that has to take the tour and do some training at HER campus. It goes both ways.

Again, we teach others how to treat us.

That's what you are doing with her. The show and tell on that and calibrating how you are going to be in metamour-ship with each other. DH might wish for the metas to get along ok, but he cannot dictate that. It's on YOU guys to actually sort that tier out among yourselves. Time and place for everything. Everything in its time and place.

GG
Heh. I suppose I was looking at it from the sense that in future we're going to try to give each other approval before really starting off down a proper road with a potential new partner.

Thanks again for the advice. Guess I'll just see how it turns out!
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  #12  
Old 09-04-2012, 08:32 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Well -- if you and DH have not sorted out your "Polyship Operations Manual" to include what sort of open rship model(s) you are seeking and want and where a "veto" thing comes into play... why are you guys dating prematurely?

The Other person is going to know what's on offer at this store here. Makes dating a lot clearer for all parties involved if you know your own selves first. Maybe take a time out to sort?

To me if you are at the "meet the metamour" place this IS already a relationship. She is the official GF already.

GG

Last edited by GalaGirl; 09-04-2012 at 08:36 PM.
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  #13  
Old 09-06-2012, 02:23 PM
CheshireCat CheshireCat is offline
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Yes, indeed she is, and I think I'm ok with that now. Taking a "time out", if you mean putting his new relationship on pause, just wouldn't be possible or fair really, he'd be utterly miserable and I don't really think it's necessary as long as I can remember to vocalise my needs/concerns and remember to respect his (AND hers!) as well. Retrospective lesson learning and all that, ready for if/when I meet someone that I think may become important to me, to do it all a bit earlier next time around!

Am meeting the metamour for drinks tonight. Reckon it'll be ok Not going in with any expectations, but it really would make things easier if we got on, eh?
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communication, compersion, insecurities, mono poly, mono to poly, mono/poly, monogamy, nre

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