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  #861  
Old 05-22-2013, 09:35 PM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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Very good points. I think it caught me so off guard because I have no issue explaining it to adults. I have several medical problems that would make carrying and caring for a child very difficult. Karma and I are both very worried about the genetic background of both families so that plays a role. And then there's the fact that we are hardly supporting ourselves and we want more for our kids. Not to mention that we both raised our younger siblings and while for me that didn't really change anything, for Karma, he never had a childhood so now he's living that out.

But for whatever reason, a simplistic answer just didn't come to mind. My usual quick response is that we like our time to be freely spent how we choose. Again not an answer for a child. I told her that if we had kids we wouldn't be able to come visit her as often as we do and that we like being able to spend time with her and her brother. She seemed satisfied with that.

I've never really had to defend my answer. My parents have always supported my choice and Karma's dad was a little upset by not having grandkids but he's slowly come around. Other than that I don't really defend my choice as much as use the question of why as an opportunity to educate.
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  #862  
Old 05-22-2013, 09:46 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mohegan View Post
But for whatever reason, a simplistic answer just didn't come to mind. My usual quick response is that we like our time to be freely spent how we choose. Again not an answer for a child. I told her that if we had kids we wouldn't be able to come visit her as often as we do and that we like being able to spend time with her and her brother. She seemed satisfied with that.
Oh, I think that was a great answer! You're so hard on yourself, but that sounds like it was a perfect response and I'm sure she was satisfied.
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  #863  
Old 05-25-2013, 02:12 AM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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What an interesting phone call I just had. So while the kids were in town, as I mentioned earlier, my niece asked if Pixi lived in our garage. None of us could figure out where this came from. Tonight they were watching The Help for the second time and my niece said something about "See mommy they live in the garage." Apparently she thinks Pixi is our maid and has to live in the garage. The thought of Pixi being our maid caused to laugh hysterically. Out of the mouth of babes! So after discussing time frames and social situations with her daughter, my sis in law called to tell me.

She's come to the conclusion that with the move and Pixi inevitably spending more time with the family, we're going to have to talk with the little one. They are all for being honest with her and we are all researching the ways to explain it. But this also means I have to have the sit down with my mom, because whatever the little one knows, YaYa will know soon. Not so worried about it, just want to have it in person. I'm more worried about my dad.

But yeah, Pixi lives in our garage because she is our maid and this has now catapulted the idea of coming out to the rest of the family. Interesting times ahead.
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  #864  
Old 07-04-2016, 10:18 PM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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It seems like forever since I have been here. I have spent the day rereading the blogs of Karma, Cricket and Pixie. As well as my own. Gods it all seems like a lifetime ago.

I left Karma 11 months ago.

When I reread the blogs of his exes, especially Cricket, I hate who I was then. So under his control and believing him to be the innocent victim. I felt like they were crazy and out to tarnish his reputation. He couldn't possibly be doing what they say.

Until he started doing it to me. Until I started dating someone who respects me and treats me well. And suddenly I saw my marriage for what it was.

The first few pages of my blog here are people asking me why I put up with the abuse. And I denied it. I defended him. I made so many excuses for his behavior.

13 years of being under his manipulations and abuse.

Damiv and I are still poly. This is his first poly relationship. And mine too technically. I didn't date out of fear of Karma's response. I'm in therapy now. Learning to heal the abuse and to eventually have a healthy poly relationship again. I have huge issues with trust right now. But I'm working on that.
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  #865  
Old 07-05-2016, 08:10 AM
Leetah Leetah is online now
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I just read through your blog and want to congratulate you on getting yourself to such a good place after such a torturous journey.

Leetah
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  #866  
Old 07-06-2016, 12:12 AM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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Thanks Leetah. It's been quite a journey over the years.
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