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  #751  
Old 08-02-2011, 01:01 AM
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And somehow I'm living in a soap opera again. More like watching and Karma is in it, I guess.

Taking my own advice I sent an e-mail to the claimed source of the "Mo doesn't know" drama. She sent a response to Karma (cuz she thinks I'm mad at her and I apparently scare people) telling him it was the sister asking and being all nosey and when the sister asked her she said she didn't know.

This makes a lot more sense. I figured the only reason this person was to get involved would be to keep someone from getting hurt, but I found it unlikely that she would go out of her way to meddle in others lives. Which is what had me so mad in the first place, that it was soooo out of character for her.

It's not out of character for Cookies sister. She seems to have an issue with attention being anywhere but on her. I don't see Karma having patience for that for very long.

Drama drama drama. Oh well, got a lot squared away in my life so whatever. Her insecurities are not my issues. Cookie knows I know about her and that is all that really matters.

Now I just need to work out a budget for the little money we were able to put together. Get this job going and get prepped for school.
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  #752  
Old 08-03-2011, 03:07 AM
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Finaly figured my mood out.

I strongly dislike NRE.

It's like my husband is morphing into someone else.

This change used to be one of my tells for when he was cheating, now I can see it's simple NRE. It wasn't that he was cheating that changed how he acted, it was NRE.
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  #753  
Old 08-03-2011, 03:14 AM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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I'm sure it's setting off some old triggers also.
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  #754  
Old 08-03-2011, 07:01 AM
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I think in some ways it brought up triggers. But mostly it's just sitting here and going "who the hell are you and what did you do with my husband?" And then we'll have a few days before he sees her again so he gets back to his old self and all is fine and wonderful and then it cycles all over again.

I do like her, from what little we've talked. So it's not that. And them sleeping together doesn't bother me. So the more I sat with it and really dig into what it is, everything comes back to how he acts that first 24 hrs or so after being with her.

So I guess all there is to do is talk it over and wait out the NRE.

I wrote out everything that was bothering me, was planning on talking to him when he got home, but it's almost 3 now and no sign.

He did call at 2 to check on things. So I guess 9 hrs is better than the what 13 last time?

I am also more aware of a cycle I go through and am working on stopping it.

When my axiety is high I can't sleep, can't sleep fibro flares, fibro flares take pain pills, pain pills bring on anxiety and deppression, and so the circle starts again.

So I attack what I can. I address what's bugging me so I can sleep. I ignore the pain the best I can and I hope for the circle to straighten back out.
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  #755  
Old 08-03-2011, 08:14 AM
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Talked to Karma. His response "So I need to stop being NRE boy and pay attention to the rest of my life. Got it."

Feel so much lighter now that I was able to communicate it and we were able to discuss it.

And on a totaly random side note but a wow go you note- he noticed that I painted my nails. My husband is oblivious to most everything, so the fact that he noticed that was smile worthy.
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  #756  
Old 08-03-2011, 02:08 PM
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It's nice that you can explain what's going on and have him get it.

It seems like it should be so simple, doesn't it?
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  #757  
Old 08-04-2011, 11:08 AM
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Trying to keep the lines of communication open with Cookie. Just sent her an e-mail basicaly saying I would like to eventualy have a friendship with her and trying to feel out her thoughts on it.

Feeling so much better after my talk with Karma. He's much more receptive to my concerns and I really love this point of where we are right now. I love knowing he will hear what I have to say and not immediatly turn to not believing me. It's nice to be listened to.

It's also nice to be able to ease into things with Cookie and not have expectations. I don't feel like Karma is pushing us to be friends and that allows things to progress naturaly. There's a comfort to knowing that if we become friends great, if we don't well thats fine too.

With the change in my major I have a prety heavy courseload coming up this semester. Pretty nervous about it, not the classes themselves, just being able to juggle everything.

And I'm pretty worried about my sister in law. She was in the hospital the other night because the babies amniotic fluid keeps dropping. She's off work now until after hes born and she goes tomorrow to have another check and they decide if she has to start taking steroids for his lungs so they can take him early. It's times like this that I hate being so far away. If we were home I could take my niece for her, or help around the house. Karma could help my brother with things like the lawn and household upkeep. So then it wouldnt all fall on my parents. They have a good support system of friends and I am so thankful for that, it just sucks that I can't be there. And the way things look we won't get to go home when he's born so it'll be Christmas before we meet him. There's nothing worth moving back to Ohio for, except the fact that all my family is there and they are my everything.

But that's okay, one day I'll be rich and fly my private plane home to visit on the weekends. And the kids can come here to visit when they're older. One can dream right?
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  #758  
Old 08-04-2011, 11:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minxxa View Post
It's nice that you can explain what's going on and have him get it.

It seems like it should be so simple, doesn't it?
It really is and I'm sorry you don't have that right now. But Karma and I had to learn it the hard way. I truly believe that sometimes you'll be in the middle of life going WTF! but then one day you'll back and go Ohhhhh that's why I needed to go through that.
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  #759  
Old 08-04-2011, 02:27 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mohegan View Post
It really is and I'm sorry you don't have that right now. But Karma and I had to learn it the hard way. I truly believe that sometimes you'll be in the middle of life going WTF! but then one day you'll back and go Ohhhhh that's why I needed to go through that.
LOL, yeah... we've had that "oh, that's what all the pain and agony was for" moment a few times... just not about this! (yet)

And the not pushing you and Cookie to form fast friendships is a good one too. I need to get hubs on that train as well. Part of our convo on Monday was about that. I told him I don't need to understand why he is interested in somebody, and I don't have to be friends with them. I might be... but honestly most of the girls he picks are people I would never in a million years choose on my own to be friends with. I like some of them fine, (like-- acquaintance, work buddy type of fine), but if I had to hang out with them for more than a couple of hours or, god forbid, get involved in the lives they live and crazy decisions they make -- I'd shoot myself in the head out of frustration! LOL... But that's okay.

Yeah it would be cool if we could all hang out... but just like any relationship that stuff happens in time if it's going to.

Just another thing we'll try and work on for the future... the list is long.
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  #760  
Old 08-04-2011, 05:20 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minxxa View Post
but honestly most of the girls he picks are people I would never in a million years choose on my own to be friends with. I like some of them fine, (like-- acquaintance, work buddy type of fine), but if I had to hang out with them for more than a couple of hours or, god forbid, get involved in the lives they live and crazy decisions they make -- I'd shoot myself in the head out of frustration! LOL... But that's okay.
LOL! This is how it is with my husbands BFF. It took me years to warm up to her and feel comfortable calling her friend. No crazy decissions or such, just we have very little in common (her mother and I have much more in common), different passions, priorities and such. Over the years, we are now comfortable with each other and can spend time chatting or doing "girlie" stuff, but it was definitely a sloooooow evolution. It is definitely more of a SIL type of relationship.

For the past 12 years or so, I really have had no friends of my own, people who "I" clicked with and chose as my friends. It was always, people my husband was involved with through work, church or other activities. It wasn't until our marriage nearly fell apart that I realized this and took a good hard look at it. It played a lot more havoc with me and in turn our marriage than I realized. I have since made active steps to correct this and it is a wonderful feeling. I discovered that there are actually women (and men) who like to sew, knit, go camping AND blow things up . Even better, they live close enough to visit every week.
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