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  #601  
Old 04-04-2011, 02:56 AM
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First storm of the year, spent it with good friends around a fire in a backyard, then went out and took what is essentially communion with my god - just reconnected, let the wind and rain and lightning wash all the pain and tears away, let it clean out these wounds.

I feel better than I have in a while right now. Tired from a good day of fighting hard, but better and more at peace with things.
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  #602  
Old 04-04-2011, 02:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Karma View Post
F

I feel better than I have in a while right now. Tired from a good day of fighting hard, but better and more at peace with things.
Right on Brother Good to hear.
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  #603  
Old 04-04-2011, 03:01 AM
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What Mono said! Good news to hear.
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  #604  
Old 04-06-2011, 05:14 AM
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Hmm. Apparently I'm an asshole and the Bad Guy even when I try to be polite.

Whatever.
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  #605  
Old 04-06-2011, 06:41 AM
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We must come to accept that life is full of constant change, constant growth, and constant transformation.--paraphrased from Eat Pray Love


So very true. We are a month away from the day that put my life on another path. For a moment I found myself wishing it had never happened. How would things be if I never found out? How would things be if I had kicked him out and tried to move on? How would things be if I had found out and told them it ended and never welcomed her into my life?

I can't live a life wondering what if. I was offered a series of paths, and I chose this one. And I have learned quite a bit while on it. I'm thankful for it. It's been a hard year full of questions and trials. But also full of learning, answers and connection. Another great quote from the movie (I'm watching it now) "If you want to get to the castle, you've got to swim the moat." and another " You've got to learn to select your thoughts the same way you select your clothes everyday."

Tonight I'm in a very reflective mood. Things happened the way did, for a reason. I don't know what that reason was for Karma, or Cricket or J. But for me, it was to wake up and live my life. And I am doing just that. I feel great because of it. I can't get caught up in the what ifs if I'm caught up in the now.

One of the best things I learned, is that love truly the most powerful magic. And within love is forgiveness. And before forgiveness comes knowledge of self. With that knowledge comes the ability to be true to yourself. Within that truth is the ability to forgive. I had always heard that forgiveness is for you not the person you forgive. I didn't quite get it until recently.

But seeing all the anger, hurt, and misery Cricket carries within herself because she refuses to forgive, has shown me exactly how destructive it can be. I refuse to let that be my life. To let all the pain and negativity of past hurts rip me apart. Seeing how she wants forgiveness for her actions, yet holds grudges for years and how that negative energy is eating at her, has taught me a lot about forgiveness, what it means, and why it is a such an important part of a calm and peaceful soul.

So even now, that their path is no longer running side by side, that she is no longer in my life, that this year is almost over...I'm still learning.

Constant change, constant growth, constant transformation
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  #606  
Old 04-06-2011, 07:18 AM
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Well wasn't that just rude and misguided. I've sent you a private response. Please keep your negative thoughts out of my blog.


Why is it people have the need to take something that is spiritual and powerful to someone and knock it down into their own scewed view of it.

Last edited by Mohegan; 04-06-2011 at 07:26 AM.
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  #607  
Old 04-06-2011, 07:35 AM
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Ummm confused with last post...is there a "disappearing post" situation? Who is rude and misguided?
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  #608  
Old 04-06-2011, 07:56 AM
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There was and I didn't quote it, probably for the best. Moving on now...
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  #609  
Old 04-06-2011, 11:10 AM
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It wasn't me this time! I'm known for that kind of crap. Anyway, I hope things are looking better today guys. Remember, I'm here to listen and help via PM if necissary. Hugs to both of you.
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  #610  
Old 04-09-2011, 02:22 AM
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The 'moving on' thing continues. I'm doing better than I thought I would be at this point, actually. I still have my moments, but I'll be OK.

In other news, April 20th I will be taking part in Walk A Mile In Her Shoes, an event that supports victims of rape and sexual assault. It takes place in Towson, MD and involves me and the other participants (mostly men) walking a mile through the city - in heels

My biggest issue thus far is trying to figure out where I can find a cheap pair of heels that will fit and won't kill me. Wish me luck!
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