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  #541  
Old 01-17-2011, 04:43 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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You rock Mo....My wife did this for me a few months back. It was really rough on her, and I don't think I ever thanked her for it. Thank YOU for reminding me of it.
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  #542  
Old 01-17-2011, 08:30 AM
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Just wanted to let everyone on here know that my wife exceeded her dietary/workout goals for the week. Not "met" them, but EXCEEDED them.

She kicks ass, and I'm proud of her.
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  #543  
Old 01-17-2011, 05:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Karma View Post
Just wanted to let everyone on here know that my wife exceeded her dietary/workout goals for the week. Not "met" them, but EXCEEDED them.

She kicks ass, and I'm proud of her.
Woohoo! Yea Mo! Keep up the work girlie! I have been following on here, and on Karma's. I am so happy you kept your blog going. It keeps me in touch with you both. I was very sorry to hear about Cricket. Not sure if that will ever change for the better. But realize her youth maybe played a part in the cutting ties. She may be overwhelmed at times. And I do not think that she did not realize it was seeping into your marriage, but she seems very sensitive to not wanting to hurt you...or be the cause of continuous struggle. All of our relationships start out at different points and under different circumstances but the common thread is that as poly we have come to love more than one, and as mono on here you have come to find support in navigating through a now poly relationship. Of course his pain is effecting you. Your strength and unwavering love is effecting him just as much. Cricket may not be at that level of "give everything I have" for love. And I think she is a very sweet girl. And I do not think you would have formed a friendship with her if she was all that bad. She just isn't at your level of acceptance. At times neither am I
Keep being his rock. Keep posting. No matter what happens to their relationship this was quite a journey, and will have some fallout for some time to come- whether or not you and Karma continue a poly lifestyle.
Hugs darling girl!
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  #544  
Old 01-19-2011, 01:57 AM
eklctc eklctc is offline
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*hugs* One thing I've learned throughout dealing with people, in general, is that you cannot help or hinder what they choose to take personally. Most times, there is something of themselves they see in a situation in order to take it personally to begin with. Her failure to (1) see that you are not here to personally attack her or blame her for anything; (2) take an introspective view on much of what you share here since it is reflective of what your Karma is going through due to the details of their relationship; and (3) step outside of self and reflect on what it feels like to be in your shoes having to endure this should not keep you from expressing your thoughts and moods, especially, if this forum is one of the ways that allow you to be supportive to Karma by releasing your concerns and brainstorming amongst people who can relate to you and your circumstances. We would miss hearing about your journey if you stopped posting. I'm glad Karma is in better spirits. You may not do the chick flick, chocolate, and kleenex but maybe a dick flick, beef jerky, and a massage would help. ~~~~sending you healing, perseverance, and love vibes~~~~~
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  #545  
Old 01-19-2011, 02:13 AM
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Originally Posted by eklctc View Post
*hugs* One thing I've learned throughout dealing with people, in general, is that you cannot help or hinder what they choose to take personally. Most times, there is something of themselves they see in a situation in order to take it personally to begin with. Her failure to (1) see that you are not here to personally attack her or blame her for anything; (2) take an introspective view on much of what you share here since it is reflective of what your Karma is going through due to the details of their relationship; and (3) step outside of self and reflect on what it feels like to be in your shoes having to endure this should not keep you from expressing your thoughts and moods, especially, if this forum is one of the ways that allow you to be supportive to Karma by releasing your concerns and brainstorming amongst people who can relate to you and your circumstances. We would miss hearing about your journey if you stopped posting. I'm glad Karma is in better spirits. You may not do the chick flick, chocolate, and kleenex but maybe a dick flick, beef jerky, and a massage would help. ~~~~sending you healing, perseverance, and love vibes~~~~~

Thank you. I'm still trying to figure out that balance of what I'm allowed to say not allowed to say. I don't want to make things any harder on him. I know she and I fighting puts a lot of stress on him and I don't want to do that to him.

On the plus side, this is good for weightloss. Everytime I get angry or upset, I head to the wii and workout instead of sending her a nasty message.

And on an even more plus side-Karma got his financial aid!!! We're not gonna be homeless!! He just has to concentrate and not fail this semester.
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  #546  
Old 01-19-2011, 10:13 AM
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Communicare-communication driven by caring

School starts to tomorrow. I'm beyond psyched for my classes. And beyond nervous for Karma. He's failed quite a few semesters. He's beyond smart enough to do this. But that is part of the problem. He gets bored (or distracted) and stops going to class. He has two classes, but they take up four nights of his week. I am so affraid of all the work he's done getting pushed aside for old habits. It's part of the trust thing. I have to trust that he wants to improve his life, and our life, and to do that he has to concentrate on school.

So with school, cricket, needing to find work, extra curriculars, a roommate on the couch, needing to find time to workout, needing to find time to do homework, keeping the house clean, and of course needing time for eachother. We've decided it is extremely important to communicare.

I'm looking forward to it. It's time to put what we have learned and worked on for the last year, into action. It's time we take control of our lives and make something of ourselves.

I'm proud of us. I'm scared, but I'm proud.

And on a lighter note, I fired Karma as my coach. He counts to slow Todays workout kicked my ass. I'm so lucky to have a martial artist for a husband. We both know a lot about the body and workouts, but from two opposite sides. It's made it nice to combine thoughts and methods and teach eachother. And it's nice to have a coach who knows me and how I work and how I self sabotage. He's firm with me when I need it and he's comforting when I have breakthroughs.

I'm a biggest loser fan, and a few seasons ago, jillian michaels said that when you work out you are sweating out emotion and you havent had a good workout if you didnt cry.

I didn't believe her until Sunday night. But Karmas pushed me past a lot of boundries the last few days. He's forced me to get out of my pattern of self sabotage. And it feels great, but scary as all hell as well. I'm learning to heal old wounds that I've been locking away for too long.
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  #547  
Old 01-19-2011, 12:19 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Wow Mo. I had no idea Karma was a martial artist. I'm a 3rd dan in karate, and a blue belt in BJJ. Also did Boxing for 2 yrs, and wrestling for a year.

When I had my MMA school open, my students did one of two things every class. They either fell down, or they puked. But when we all went to fights, our guys were usually the only ones who could fight a full 3 rounds with out getting gassed. My wife fired me as her work out coach also before. LOL I was too militaristic, and pushed her too hard. LOL
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  #548  
Old 01-20-2011, 12:59 AM
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She thinks I'm hard on her... wait until she comes out to a practice that I'm helping to run ans she sees what I put the 'troops' through
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  #549  
Old 01-20-2011, 03:57 AM
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Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
Wow Mo. I had no idea Karma was a martial artist. I'm a 3rd dan in karate, and a blue belt in BJJ. Also did Boxing for 2 yrs, and wrestling for a year.

When I had my MMA school open, my students did one of two things every class. They either fell down, or they puked. But when we all went to fights, our guys were usually the only ones who could fight a full 3 rounds with out getting gassed. My wife fired me as her work out coach also before. LOL I was too militaristic, and pushed her too hard. LOL
Well I thought he'd explain for himself but I guess not I couldn't tell you what all Karma has studied cuz there's just too much there for me to remember. But what I do know is he knows his stuff and is damn good.

I grew up an Army brat. My parents are both Army retired. So militaristic is kind what I need, with a small bit of compassion thrown in.


My experience is in different forms of dance. And what I have learned in my classes (looking at a dual degree of nutrtionist and chef). So it's nice to combine our experience and put it into a working plan. We're both learning new exercises and it's fun to find something we can do together that is healthy for us.

I didn't really fire him, I'd be lost without his help and direction. Although I really wanted to. I have never pushed myself that far. I rush my counts, which I didn't realize until he was counting for me. One of the reasons I fell in love with him is that he doesn't take my shit. I love that I can't pull anything over on him. I can yell if I need to and he yells right back. But he also has the ability to make me see reason. He has this way of saying "No you didn't do it right do it again. No you rushed it do it again. You're psture isn't right straighten that" and I do it, because I want to impress him, I want him to be happy with me. If I hired a trainer, I wouldn't give a shit. My self deafeating ways would kick in, I'd make excuses and not give it my all. I know I can't do that with Karma, and I don't want to do it with him anyway.

I'm just damn lucky he's willing to take the time away from what he is doing to help me. I have to instigate it, but if I walk out with my binder and say "My knee is bugging me, what else can I do?" He stops what he is doing, looks through it, and then spots me while I do it.
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  #550  
Old 01-24-2011, 03:32 AM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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Don't know why I bother anymore. No matter what I do or say, it's wrong or taken wrong.

So what I have learned this week is that I am hypocritical, judgemental, icey,intimidating, hard to approach and pretty much an overall shitty person.

Nice to know what's really thought of me.
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