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  #491  
Old 12-19-2010, 06:57 AM
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Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Karma View Post
For those who care to know, please read my blog. NOTE: This is a shameless plug to get some freakin advice, or at least some alternative points of view and support that I need right now.

And thank you, love. It means more to me right now than you may be aware of.
I will read your's next!

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Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post

He comes from the view point, that if it wasn't his intention to be hurtful then I have no right to be hurt by it, no matter what he actually said or did. He still has a hard time realizing that a simple "I'm sorry, that was never my intention, what I ment to say was..." would solve a good portion of our arguements and hurt feelings.
Yes this must be a chromosone thing...seems the boys do not get how easy it is to DEescalate.

Last edited by Morningglory629; 12-19-2010 at 07:00 AM.
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  #492  
Old 12-20-2010, 02:19 AM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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It's so weird how being apart for two weeks has made some things different.

Like not being touched in two weeks. No hugs, no nothing. So to suddenly have physical attention again I'm hitting an overload. Yet craving it all the time. The slightest touch is like electric.

Last night at the bar I noticed how much more affectionate we were than my friends and their husbands. I was so filled with love and gratitude and I felt so loved it was amazing. We spent an amazing night together, catching up on lost time. He's having to work at breaking me back in apparently. boundries are having to be pushed again. He's having to pull me back out of my shell. And it's glorious.

I am so appreciative of Karma. For what we have together.

And then this morning he is hit with anxiety and depression again. I am trying so hard to help him. And I am so afraid I am not doing any good. I am so afraid that what I am saying to him isn't any help.

I just hope the books I got him, journaling, having me and his brother to talk to and talking to Cricket help him.

He is bouncing all over the place emotionaly. I wish I had the magic answers, to fix both of their damage and put them back together and we could all live happily ever after.

He's with his brother tonight. So I can allow myself to process the pain I feel for him. Off to take some pills for the physical pain of being out in the cold all day, and cry out the emotional pain.
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  #493  
Old 12-20-2010, 06:03 AM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Originally Posted by Mohegan View Post
Like not being touched in two weeks. No hugs, no nothing. So to suddenly have physical attention again I'm hitting an overload. Yet craving it all the time. The slightest touch is like electric.
I noticed this too when my husband spent a week in AZ recently. I have never had an issue with seperation before, but this time it was just painful. We have had the year from hell, with a lot of pain but even more healing, which I'm sure had a lot to do with it.

Quote:
Last night at the bar I noticed how much more affectionate we were than my friends and their husbands.
This has been us lately also . Again, I think it has to do with both of us working so hard to make things right again. We are together because we want to be, not just because it is familiar anymore.
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  #494  
Old 12-20-2010, 06:00 PM
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Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
We are together because we want to be, not just because it is familiar anymore.
Exactly!
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  #495  
Old 12-20-2010, 06:36 PM
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Waiting for Karma to get up so we can do some errands for my parents. My dad was really sick last night, and I need to get out of the house to have my little breakdown. He is such a strong man, but when he gets like this, the slightest thing will send him crying and afraid. I don't want him to know how scared I was.

He passed out twice. I never heard mom call the first time. I feel so guilty. Some how she got him back to bed. the second time was scream for my help that had me jumping out of bed so fast I almost tripped over the blankets.

He was grey. Not responsive, but breathing. I got him to come around while she straightened his body out. After an hour on the floor we got him back in bed and I was able to call Karma, who took over. As much as they have their issues, I think my dad was glad to have a male help him instead of his daughter.

Poor Karma, dealing with so much already, has had no sleep and now has to go run errands with me, becuase I can't lift the things that need done. So much on his plate. Yet he was here as soon as I called. Helped all night, whenever mom called for him. Held me so I could fall asleep.

I really am lucky.
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  #496  
Old 12-21-2010, 12:11 AM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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I wish I had the magic answers. I can't answer Karmas questions because I can't read Crickets mind. Saying " I don't know honey" doesn't sound very supportive to me. But I don't know what else to say.

I hate seeing his heart break and not having the ability to put it together. This break with Cricket is really taking a toll on him. He's just kind of standing in limbo.

My own fears and feelings aside. I wish I could wave the magic wand and we could all live happily ever after.
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  #497  
Old 12-21-2010, 12:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Mohegan View Post
Saying " I don't know honey" doesn't sound very supportive to me. But I don't know what else to say.
I'm sure just the fact that you are willing to listen to him and comfort him helps a great deal, even if you don't know the answers.

Quote:
I wish I could wave the magic wand and we could all live happily ever after.
That would be very cool!
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  #498  
Old 12-22-2010, 04:39 AM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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I'm still working on the magic wand, or magic words, or something.

I want my husband back. I know all too well what he is going through with Cricket.

Part of me is mad at her for yet again sending my life and marriage into chaos.

Part of me wants for her to find whatever it is she is looking for so she can final be happy. Whether that is with Karma or not.

Part of me wants to hunt J down and shove seafood in his mouth (he's allergic). I really can't stand him and he just keeps showing his true, yet so many are so blind to it. I hope his move to PA is permanent. I'd love for that one to be out of my life. What I find funny is he wants Cricket to go with him. Yet he is all about her education. Well, um, an unknown amount of time in PA is not going to help her education. It will derail it real f'ing quick. And how are they going to survive? All this is is a way for him to get her away from Karma so he can sink his talons into her further.

Part of me wants to tell my husband how I feel about it all, but I'm afraid it'll make things harder on him, or that it will be taken as me putting my nose in business that isn't mine. I don't want to have that fight again.

How does one be supportive, when their feelings on the situation are anything but positive?

I want to do the right thing in all of the little situations that make up this big one. I just don't know what that is.
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  #499  
Old 12-22-2010, 12:04 PM
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Karma Karma is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mohegan View Post
How does one be supportive, when their feelings on the situation are anything but positive?

I want to do the right thing in all of the little situations that make up this big one. I just don't know what that is.
HAH!!! Welcome to my world as of late, love.

Just knowing that you've got my back in all of this is enough. I'd have lost it already if it wasn't for you.
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  #500  
Old 12-22-2010, 12:11 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Mo,
I have eliminated the "W" word (w!sh) from my vocabulary for the immediate future. Why? Because I kept finding myself saying "I w!sh......." to just about everything. Now, I'm not w!shing.....Now I'm doing. You want a majic wand? BE that wand! You want majic answers? Give YOUR answers. Do you think Karma wants to hear a fake answer that will make him feel better, but isn't the REAL you? I highly doubt it.

Sometimes, we know the answers, but don't want to say them for fear of rejection. Sometimes, the hardest answers, are the right ones.

I would explain to Karma, that while you love him, you really hate to see him hurting like this. Explain to him that you don't want to hurt him more, but this is how you see things from a, somewhat, outsiders view. Then re-affirm that you DO want him to have this relationship, but that you don't know that it is a productive one, and is putting un-necessary strain on your marriage to him. Explain that you will be there no matter what, but it just hurts you to see him getting hurt.

Mo, I'm sorry I'm not more of a help....but that's my advise for now.
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