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  #461  
Old 12-10-2010, 11:49 PM
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I didn't mean you criticized me for him taking on my problems, I meant you criticized me for not fixing them myself - I just didn't word that well.

I'm not asking you to change how you feel. I'm just asking you not to call me juvenile and stupid because you're angry with my choice.
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  #462  
Old 12-11-2010, 12:30 AM
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Hello, I just thought I would send a bit of my thoughts on this... I'm PMing you two also Cricket and Mohegan, just so you know.

I have found it counter productive to involve myself in my partner and metamours business. What is my business is to be a sounding board for my partner, not to be involved in their drama and make it mine. Why? Well because what sometimes happens is that I am left with egg on my face when they sort themselves out and I have gone on and on about stuff that isn't mine to process. Their relationship is theirs and mine is mine. I wouldn't want someone interfering with the dynamics of mine so why would I interfere with theirs... no matter how ludicrous they seem... truth is that we never know what goes on behind closed doors and could never know because we are not them...

I hope you don't mind Mohegan, but if I were you I would be stepping away, zipping my mouth shut and just listening and waiting and consoling Karma if he needs that and venting to someone who is not involved in order to keep my cool. Just a thought.
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  #463  
Old 12-11-2010, 12:57 AM
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RedPepper, I love you right now
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  #464  
Old 12-11-2010, 01:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I hope you don't mind Mohegan, but if I were you I would be stepping away, zipping my mouth shut and just listening and waiting and consoling Karma if he needs that and venting to someone who is not involved in order to keep my cool. Just a thought.
Can't do that. That's not me. Karma and I agreed from day one that that's not how things would work for us. We share everything, and what effects him, effects me. That's how it is.

I've deleted the posts in question because things were taken out of context.

Cricket and I have already talked, and while I don't get why she is doing what she is doing, I respect that this is what she thinks she needs to do.

My problem came in where I got half the story from Karma and was then left to stew over it while he slept. I kept myself busy as long as I could, waiting for himt o get up and go over it all again. But eventualy I drove myself nuts and turned to the one place I have always expressed these feelings.

That was apparently the wrong thing to do.

After reading Crickets blog, I had started an apology blog, when things got taken out of context and went past the point of productive and into the point of anger.

I do hope the best for her. I do hope this is truly what she needs. I hope she is able to find what she is looking for. Because I want that for everyone. I personaly, wouldn't go about it in this way, but if this is how she feels she needs to do it, then I'll repsect that.

But that doesn't change the fact that my husband is hurting, and worse I am 7 f'ing hours away and can't be there for him. So I did the only thing I knew to do. And it was wrong. I'm sorry.

I understand that I am not in their relationship and can only understand what it is they tell me. And that it is their relationship.

But my husband and I share everything, and when he hurts, my first instinct is to attack the source of said pain. Regardless of if it is his relationship or something else. I only want for him to be happy, and when he is hurt, I can't explain the rage that creates.

I was only trying to express my inability to understand where she was coming form and what I felt the reasoning was. I felt the ACTIONS were juvenile, not Cricket.

But as I said, I have apologized to both of them.

I am going to wait for my dad to get home from the hospital. Take care of him. And move on with my night. Becuase at least there I know I am doing the right thing.
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  #465  
Old 12-11-2010, 01:10 AM
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Mohegan, I totally feel you my friend. Of course it effects you personally. Especially when karma is far away. Its so hard to keep feelings at bay when we want to protect our loves.

P.s. Love you too karma.
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  #466  
Old 12-11-2010, 01:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mohegan View Post
My problem came in where I got half the story from Karma and was then left to stew over it while he slept. I kept myself busy as long as I could, waiting for himt o get up and go over it all again. But eventualy I drove myself nuts and turned to the one place I have always expressed these feelings.
I understand this feeling. Someone hurts your man and MOMMA BEAR kicks in. This happened between my husband and his brother not to long ago and man it pissed me off. How dare his brother treat him this way, etc. Turns out I only got half the story. Fortunately his brother understands his way of communicating (or lack thereof) and all was forgiven.
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  #467  
Old 12-13-2010, 02:19 AM
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So my mom wanted to know why Karma had been so upset and why he and I were fighting the other night...lol perfect intro to our life as it is now...if I weren't a chicken shit. I had no desire to start that conversation with Karma not even here, not having discussed it with him, and with him and Cricket taking a break anyway.

though I envisioned it going something like this--

"So he had a string of affairs you knew that, Well I let him keep dating the one he fell in love with, and it's all worked out and we are stronger and happier than ever. Up until they decided to take a break and I blamed her for breaking his heart and he blamed me for not waiting to get the whole story before going off, and she needs time to be 20 and get her life together. And that's why he's been so upset. Oh and my brother has known for months and is fully supportive of this."

LOL so not the conversation I wanted to have tonight.


I'm glad Karma and Cricket talked. I'm still apprehensive. I'm gun shy I guess. In the same way she thinks I am always judging her and looking down on her, when I'm not I only want to help and I am harsh and blunt by nature no matter how many times I say that, she still has it in the back of her mind. And I still have my reservations and first impressions back there nagging too.

I just don't want to see my husband hurt even more than he already is.


In other news, my car is frozen shut.
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  #468  
Old 12-14-2010, 02:55 PM
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Can't wait for Karma to get here. I feel so distant from our relationship. I feel like an outsider looking in. 3-4 more days. We really need the time to reconnect.

Never doing this again.

I'm confused, hurt and feeling cast aside.
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  #469  
Old 12-14-2010, 08:47 PM
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Hugs Mo....BIG HUGS! It'll be alright. Just relax....and try to think about all the things you want to do when he gets back.
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  #470  
Old 12-14-2010, 10:42 PM
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I don't understand this at all. We talk every day.... how are you being cast aside?

We had a disagreement over something. You're letting that plus our current distance get to you, love. That is all. I'm certainly not percieving any sort of emotional distance or need to "cast you aside" in any of this.
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