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  #51  
Old 05-28-2013, 10:05 PM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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All is pretty quiet in Jenny-land. I've almost gotten all the plants I bought planted, and am so excited for the garden this year. This is the first time since I was a little girl that I have an actual (albeit small) garden, and not just growing things in containers. Being outside with the cats, watching and listening to the chickens, and feeling things growing and living all around me - this is my bliss.

I celebrated my 11-year anniversary at work last week, and will celebrate my 35th birthday next. My kid, who I met when he was 1, will be graduating third grade soon. Moonlight and I will have our 1-year anniversary in a month. With all these milestones, I suddenly feel like a grownup.

Time is flying by so quickly these days. I've been trying to coordinate everyone's summer schedules. Fly has some trips planned, Moonlight has some trips planned, I've committed to a lot of babysitting, dogsitting, and housesitting to sock away money for next year's Australia trip. Fly and I also have to take Kiddo's mom's schedule into consideration, and it's all a little dizzying. I'm a little bummed that I won't get to take a big vacation this year, but Moonlight and I have some weekend road trips that will hopefully get me through.

For the most part, things are same-old. I find it interesting that Moonlight and I bicker sometimes; I've never really done that with a partner. I've also never dated a woman long-term. I don't know if there's a correlation.
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35/bi/f

- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy), and his 9-year-old son Kiddo
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  #52  
Old 06-06-2013, 07:01 PM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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Talking Happy Birthday to Me!

Yesterday was my 35th birthday!

Every year since we've been together, Fly has brought me breakfast berries in bed for my birthday. Yesterday, he served me raspberries and strawberries at 7 AM, and wished me a happy birthday as he went to work and I rolled back over to sleep for a few more hours. I love our little birthday tradition, and the continuity of it makes me feel so special.

I took the day off work, and Fly and I liberated Kiddo from school early so we could go to an afternoon Mariners game. It was sunny and hot (I'm so sunburned that I cried in pain during my shower this morning ), and Fly found a wine bar in the stadium and bought me a glass of champagne. We had so much fun, and the game went 16 innings! The only downside, except for the sunburn, was that Fly and I got pooped upon by a seagull during the 14th inning. It's supposed to be good luck, but it's hard to see it that way.

Since the game ran so long, we had to race home so I could shower for my dinner date with Moonlight. She had made reservations for a lovely restaurant on the canal, and we got to sit outside on the patio and watch the boats pass us by. A melt-in-your-mouth steak and a couple glasses of chilled rosť made me a very relaxed and mellow girl. After dinner, we drove to the beach where we could watch the sunset and make out like teenagers in the twilight.

I can't tell you how special it was to celebrate with both my loves, in very different ways that really matched the character of each of my relationships with them. With Fly, it was light-hearted, chillaxed, and playful; with Moonlight it was romantic, decadent, and luxurious. Knowing that Fly and Moonlight were enjoying conversation while I was in the shower between dates was such a satisfying feeling. I absolutely revel in my little poly family!
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35/bi/f

- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy), and his 9-year-old son Kiddo
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  #53  
Old 06-06-2013, 07:04 PM
Nox Nox is offline
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Sounds wonderful, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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  #54  
Old 06-06-2013, 09:06 PM
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FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Happy belated birthday! I am happy to hear that your entire day was wonderful. May you have many more birthdays that are equally wonderful and amazing!

(I am sorry about the sunburn. I hope you have found something to soothe it. Aloe vera gel helped my sister big time. We put it in the freezer and then, applied it. She said it helped.)

Ry
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  #55  
Old 06-10-2013, 10:31 PM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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Thanks for the happy birthdays! The sunburn has hit the peely stage, which is not cute. I don't even wanna look at myself! The mirror and I are breaking up for a few days.

I had a long text with Punk today. He comes home from his business trip this afternoon, and we're tentatively making plans to hang out next week. He wants to show me his photos of Boston; I want to breathe in the scent of his skin!

Both Punk and Fly have told me recently that I'm way lower maintenance and less drama than most women they've been in relationships with or dated. I loved hearing this, because I know in many ways I'm not the easiest person in the world, but I want to bring joy and not stress into the lives of the people I care about. It was a lovely compliment, especially to receive from both of them individually and independently.

Moonlight and I went to another baseball game Friday night, sitting in her season ticket seats. In a funny twist of life, Fly called me Friday afternoon to tell me that he had scored VIP tickets at work to the same game! He and Kiddo were sitting where Moonlight and I could see them - we had a wonderful giggle watching the boys rock out to "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" and "Louie Louie" during the 7th inning stretch. And our team won, which added to the fun. Fly took me home afterwards so I could grab my car, and I drove over to Moonlight's to spend the night. We were both too tired and stressed out from the work week for sex, but had some delicious cuddle time and a sweet sleep.

Moonlight's niece works for NASA, and we've been invited to attend a rocket launch in Cape Canaveral in November. After some hemming and hawing about being able to afford it, I've decided it's an opportunity I can't pass by. It'll be our first "going on an airplane" trip together, and I'm ridiculously excited. I've never been to Florida, and it sounds blissful to have a respite from the Seattle rain and cold at that time of year.

In chicken news, 5 of the 6 hens are laying, and we're getting 4-5 eggs every day. Everyone who comes to my house is required to take home a half-dozen eggs! In garden news, the zucchinis are taking over everything, and I let them get too big before I decided to trellis, so now it's a big power struggle between the vines and myself. I shall prevail!!
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35/bi/f

- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy), and his 9-year-old son Kiddo
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  #56  
Old 07-10-2013, 07:56 PM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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Just checking in.

I drove Fly to the airport this morning for a 2-day trip to LA. He was invited to film a record attempt involving his sport for Guinness Book, hence the whirlwind getaway. Things haven't been great for us for a while, but oddly they're not bad either.

We aren't having much sex, perhaps once every couple of months, and I'm struggling a lot with the situation. Sex and touch are really primary ways for me to show and receive love, and to not have that with him feels disconnected. He's always had sexual ebbs and flows, and he's extremely fond of new and shiny. We've had this discussion many times over the years - he feels that when people are together for a long time, live together, see each other every day, that it's natural for the excitement to die down and the attraction to fade. He loves me, and in every other way our life together is wonderful, so he doesn't really see a problem. However, that's just not true for me, and it's difficult to wrap my head around. My personality is such that the deeper the relationship, the more familiar and close the person becomes, the more I'm sexually attracted. It may not be swinging from the rafters, but the strengthening of the emotional connection is sexy to me. All this is probably why he defines himself as nonmonogamous, while I am happier with the concept of poly.

I asked him if this is something we can work on, or at least come to some sort of compromise about, because to be very honest, I'm not particularly interested in a nonsexual relationship, particularly with a life partner. He thinks we can figure it out, but asked me for some time and sexual space. I'm willing to give him that, but in return asked for an increase in nonsexual physical affection. Along with not having sex, he's not been cuddly or close to me. For instance, when we're in bed together, he used to spoon me or pull me around to spoon him, or we'd lie back to back, or whatever, always touching. Now, he sleeps way over on his side of the bed with no contact at all. He apparently didn't realize this, and told me that he can work on being more mindful about giving me the touching that helps maintain my sanity.

I finally had some time with Punk last night. I know I don't write about him much, but it's because our relationship is so easy. I love being with him, and even when we haven't been together in a while, we pick up right where we left off. He's been having some poly troubles in his household, and I was able to be a listening ear for him to vent to. I feel for him, his life is not easy. Their family has so many people involved, with girlfriends and boyfriends and subs and slaves and BDSM partners and etc. It exhausts me to think about, but it's what they want for their lives. Anyway, we had plenty of talking and some good old penis-in-vagina fucking, for which I was incredibly appreciative. I also have a lovely array of bruises decorating my breasts.

The night before last, I went to Moonlight's. We also had some blessedly satisfying sex, and then stretched out on the couch to drink wine and watch baseball. She's coming over Thursday night for dinner, while Fly is gone and Kiddo is at his mom's. We have never had sex in my house without Fly, and always in his room, so we're going to christen my bed.

She and I celebrated our 1-year-anniversary two weekends ago, with a little road trip over the mountains for a long weekend at the big gorgeous lake. It's strange and wonderful to reach such a milestone with her.

So, I suppose in the grand scheme of things, I'm doing ok. There's some crunchy stuff, but overall, I'm lucky to have some beautiful people in my life.
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35/bi/f

- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy), and his 9-year-old son Kiddo
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  #57  
Old 10-24-2013, 10:06 PM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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Wow, it's been a ridiculously long time since I've posted here. My only defense is that life has been pretty mundane, and time rolls on without anything exciting happening.

Fly's and my relationship continues to evolve. In August, he told me he wasn't sure if he still wanted to be with me as my boyfriend. He also told me that he's been barebacking with Notes (which is a deal-breaker, as I won't fuck him or give blowjobs without condoms if he's not using protection with others, and he doesn't want to use condoms with me). I asked him if he thought he was moving into a more serious relationship with her, but he claims he still just wants her as a fuckbuddy. The only reason I even got that much information out of him was because he was trapped in the car with me for a 4-hour road trip. His lack of communication and his unwillingness to deal with anything unpleasant is beyond frustrating for me. He ended the conversation by saying that he wanted to talk more, but needed time to think. We never revisited the conversation.

However, things have sort of leveled off. We don't have sex or sleep together, ever, but we do kiss and hug. We've always gotten along really well in terms of living together and parenting, so that's been okay. He's affirmed that he still loves me, just doesn't have a romantic spark for me anymore. Day-to-day life is pleasant, even though I'm mourning the loss of our former relationship dynamic.

I don't really want to break up, mostly because I love him, but also because if it came to the point of not living together, I would lose everything. The house is his, Kiddo is his child but not mine biologically, so I'd lose my child, my home, most of my pets, the chickens and garden, everything. There's no animosity, we care about each other and are good friends and partners, so I don't feel like I need to cut ties at this point.

I think we'll probably roll along the way we are until/unless something big happens in one of our lives. At this point, it feels like the relationship is changing rather than ending, and while I'm not happy about it, the pros of staying outweigh the cons.

Moonlight and I are happy. She'd like to see more of me, but understands that my life is crazy and busy. Our Florida trip is less than a month away, and we're calling it our "honeymoon. We spend at least a couple nights a week together, and have taken several little weekend trips that have been lovely. Our relationship has been very stable and strong for quite a while now. A nice little bonus - I attended Moonlight's granddaughter's second birthday party, and one of her exes showed up. I'm not a jealous person, but this woman makes me crazy, mostly because she treated Moonlight horribly when they were together, and because she's a drunk and drug addicted and just all kinds of messed up. No drama happened, but it did cause Moonlight's daughter and a couple of her close friends to pull me aside and tell me how happy they are that she's dating me instead of the ex, and how I have their support in my relationship with her. That was reassuring, because I'd had doubts about her daughter's feelings about me since the beginning.

Punk and I are mostly text buddies now. He's got his big, busy poly tribe going on, and I feel stretched by all my relationship, parenting, household, and job responsibilities. I still consider him a close friend, but less often a sexyfriend.

Which means that despite dating two dudes, I have a serious lack of cock in my sex life! So, of course, I'm totally craving a good hard fucking. I haven't really gone looking for someone for a while, but I may need to think about finding a new FWB man-type. One of my old sexyfriends has resurfaced lately, but I'd have to sleep with his wife too, and she's batshit crazy, so that's not an option. Might have to dust off the old OKC account.
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35/bi/f

- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy), and his 9-year-old son Kiddo
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  #58  
Old 12-19-2013, 08:36 PM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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Big changes afoot.

Fly and I have broken up.

He's never been a great boyfriend, but you know how you make excuses for someone because you love them? Well, it finally got to the point where even I didn't believe my excuses.

We haven't had sex for over 6 months, and even then it was sporadic and infrequent. We've been pulling apart from each other, and felt very distant. I kept trying to keep the family together, but he refused to ever discuss anything, just kept saying (for months) that it was a bad time and we'd talk later. He kept blaming and guilt-tripping me for the demise of the relationship, but wouldn't tell me why or what I was doing. I realize now that he just wanted to place blame, not actually accomplish anything.

He was so disrespectful of my time, belittled me, controlled and manipulated me by using my love for his kid. I came to understand that he's not particularly nice or good, just charming and the charm doesn't go past the surface. He truly has no understanding that there's a world that exists beyond his own wants and desires, and no interest beyond getting those wants met. At this point, he's now rewriting history to make it seem like I wasn't meeting my financial obligations, when in actuality he owed me money every month that I just dealt with because I love him.

I've held on for a long time because of the kid (and my chickens!), but I finally had to put my foot down regarding the way he treats me, and apparently he didn't like it. He asked me to move out by January 31. Since it's his house, there's not much I can do but leave.

I took kiddo out the other night, and said something about his mom and he said "But you're my mom too!" I just about lost it. I'm completely devastated to not be with my kid every day, but since I'm just dad's girlfriend, I have no rights to visitation or anything like that. I'm much less upset about the boyfriend, it's a bit of a relief to be free from that. I love him and always will, because that's who I am, but I've definitely learned that just because you love someone doesn't mean they're a good partner for you.

This also means the big upcoming Australia trip is off, but that's ok. I'll miss my friends that I have in the [sport] community, but I know I can travel on my own any time I want. At this point, I think I'm going to spend a week or two in Hawaii in March with Moonlight, who already has a trip planned and accommodations booked.

Definitely bittersweet. I'm so ready to be free of someone who treats me like a nanny and housekeeper, but it's killing me to lose my boy.

So now I'm apartment hunting and trying to restructure my life. Moonlight has been wonderful, and our relationship continues to grow and thrive. Punk has also been supportive, and I'm looking forward to a date night with him after the holidays. I'm actually really excited to have my own space again, and to not have a curfew or arrange my life around someone else's to the point where I have to ask permission to go out to dinner with a friend.

Change, change is in the wind.
__________________
35/bi/f

- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy), and his 9-year-old son Kiddo
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  #59  
Old 12-23-2013, 07:22 PM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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Found an apartment (yay!). It's a little bit of a commute to work, about 20 minutes or so, but I can afford it, and it has some good amenities and is located in a fun neighborhood. I'm getting ridiculously excited to move in, get all my stuff settled, buy some new things to make my space my own. I can move in January 7th, so I have some time to pack, organize, and purge.

Things at the house are awkward. We're not mean to each other, or arguing, just really, really polite. We haven't told Kiddo yet, we want to wait until after the holidays. I did tell Kiddo's mom, though, because I was afraid she might see something on facebook. She wrote me the sweetest note back, and told me that she really wants me to continue having a relationship with Kiddo, that I've been a good influence in his life. Instant tears.

Luckily, I'm housesitting through the 29th of December, so it gives both Fly and I some breathing room. I'm feeling very positive about starting a new phase of my life, and am eager to start 2014! My resolution this year is to work on myself - my mental, emotional, and physical well-being are my priorities this year.
__________________
35/bi/f

- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy), and his 9-year-old son Kiddo
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  #60  
Old 12-28-2013, 02:29 PM
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Mya Mya is offline
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I'm sorry to hear about the break-up.

Yay for the apartment though. I hope things get better for you all around next year!
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