Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-21-2012, 05:50 PM
lovefromgirl's Avatar
lovefromgirl lovefromgirl is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: The Great Soggy Northeast
Posts: 353

Originally Posted by TornHeart View Post
The sad thing for me is I think he doesn't think he's in the wrong. He stresses on things like how in The Ethical Slut poly people are encouraged to continually change their own rules. So maybe in his head he's changed his rules and therefore he's right to do as he pleases. I doubt he's sorry at all.
Sometimes I would like to banish The Ethical Slut from the Approved Poly Reading List. So many morons use it as an excuse to do whatever they want. At the very least, a title change would put off the utter gobshites.
"I swear, if we live through this somebody's going to find their automatic shower preferences reprogrammed for ice water."

Refuge in Audacity { home of the post-raph stunner }
Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2012, 06:00 PM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

I read the book-and frankly-didn't enjoy it or find it productively useful to me regarding poly or otherwise.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
Old 09-20-2012, 03:55 PM
TornHeart TornHeart is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 28


OK, so get this. 3 weeks after this whole thing went down, we meet to talk (his suggestion) and I took that as opportunity to give him his things back.

He apologizes and tells me I've taught him a valuable lesson in life. But that he was angry with me for reacting the way I did, at a public place and even involving her. He says he wants to remain friends with me.

He then tells me that now he is EXCLUSIVE (ie MONOGAMOUS) with the other girl he was seeing because since I split up with him, our triad "organically" became a couple. And that it just "naturally" happened that way.

Let me clarify. The other girl, let's call her Cindy, knew about me. I knew about her. I found out about the highschool friend visiting here by chance, only because he drove by my place.

When I asked him if Cindy knew that his highschool friend was here, he said "No". I asked him if that was fair that she doesn't know, he said, "She would prefer not to know...but if she knew, she'd be mad."

He said that his relationship with Cindy became better now that I am OUT OF THE PICTURE. I"m thinking well, duh! Of course, Cindy always wanted to be in a monogamous relationship with him and now she's got it.

Do I want this idiot back? NO!

Am I pissed off? I am. But I realize that better Cindy than me having to deal with his lies and drama.

What are your thoughts?
Reply With Quote
Old 09-20-2012, 06:18 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,345

My thoughts?

Thanks heavens you are rid of him!


Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2012, 10:57 AM
cuninglingwist cuninglingwist is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 29
Default poly or not

Hears your answer!

"he thinks to this day he's done nothing wrong and that I and the other girl are the psychotic ones."

Right! from what you discribed his girl in the bar was clearly on your side,
he is pissed off because when they got home, she proberbly walked out on him, or he dident get any pussy. thats why he is pissed off.

to bad you dident get her # she sounded like she wouldent have a problem sharing you if she had known, Get her # next time he calls, im sure you two could go out and laugh your asses off, she sounds more poly than him and who knows maybe you could find a guy that would be happy with you both.

you allowed yourself to get emotionally sucked in, dont worry your not alone,
once you get a new guy or girl ,he will be history.
Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2012, 11:21 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

My thoughts are that he's truly an idiot.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 05:58 AM.