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  #1  
Old 08-14-2012, 09:51 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Default NRE-the new "I was drunk"

I think it's important to understand what NRE is & specifically the affect it has upon your thought processes, just like I think it's important to understand what alcohol is and the affect it has on your thought processes.

But, I am SO disgusted by NRE being used as an excuse for bad behavior.
It is NOT an excuse for bad behavior.

If you are starting a new relationship-fucking be aware of the existence of NRE and how it works.
Set in place an agreement with your SO or a friend or SOMEONE close to you that you ALREADY trust-to tell you when YOU ARE GOING OVERBOARD.
Then-if they say that-
STOP.

It's THAT simple.

If I have a drink-I don't drive. Why?
Because drinking and driving is DANGEROUS.
INNOCENT people can be harmed on account of MY choice.

If you want to start new relationships BE AWARE of the dangers!

This is simple, common courtesy and RESPONSIBLE ADULT BEHAVIOR.

It's not acceptable to justify your heartless disregard for anyone else's feelings with "I was in NRE".

It's not acceptable to justify not following previously made agreements with "I was experiencing NRE".

It's not acceptable to make a total ass of yourself because you aren't willing to reign in your own BEHAVIOR on account of the great sensation you are experiencing from NRE. That's BULLSHIT.

If you CHOOSE to put yourself in situations that may erupt in NRE, you remain fully responsible for your words and actions.

NRE is NOT AN EXCUSE OR JUSTIFICATION for shitty behavior.
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Old 08-14-2012, 09:55 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
NRE is NOT AN EXCUSE OR JUSTIFICATION for shitty behavior.
I think that bears repeating.
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Old 08-14-2012, 10:05 PM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
I think that bears repeating.
NRE is NOT AN EXCUSE OR JUSTIFICATION for shitty behavior.

There you go.

I'm guilty of shitty NRE behavior. Oops. Live and learn!
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Old 08-14-2012, 10:44 PM
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Thank you, LR - great post. In my early "discovering poly" days I was bad at this. I have learned, and make sure that my NRE is far more balanced.
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Old 08-14-2012, 10:54 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Wow funny you should bring this up LR

Expanding on the dangerous aspects of NRE I think it is a silent or not so silent killer of relationships in the poly mono dynamic.

The struggling partner is getting very mixed or opposite signals. This leads to a negative cycle of events. New partner is all fun. Old ( established) partner is moody, sad, emotional....or over the top trying to be fun and exciting, unnatural for them. Time spent or dates end up being an obligation, less than pleasant, fights and disagreements occur because of the tension and as a result neither party feels more connected in fact much less. Which sets off the repeating of the cycle or a new negative cycle.

The upside for the poly partner is they have a fun alternative. Mono parnter is stuck with a partner they feel less for ...and a partner who at the moment might feel much less towards them from a NRE stand point and a sad, depressed, needy pathetic crazy person standpoint Lose lose. Hard to unwind.
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Old 08-14-2012, 11:12 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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D-agree!

Can't imagine what brought this up.

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Old 08-14-2012, 11:32 PM
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sigh... LR. He must be really REALLY good in bed, is all I can think.
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Old 08-15-2012, 01:35 AM
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LR- I'm stealing this topic for the fb group we're on. Hope that's okay...
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Old 08-15-2012, 01:55 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Mag-this one was a result of me reading posts on here and just getting fed up with some of the idiotic excuses.

Not to be confused with the thread that sent me over the edge of patience with ridiculous, manipulative, psycho wives! LOL!


RP-of course! Entertain away and feel free to copy whatever you want!

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Old 08-15-2012, 01:59 AM
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LR- Shall I leave it to you to post? I've posted a lot there lately anyway and it seems like a hot topic for you right now.
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