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  #41  
Old 08-02-2013, 04:01 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
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Default Second Date - different chick

So yesterday Dude went on his second OKC date (different girl).

The first date (with the other girl), two weeks ago, there was a little treading on eggshells - where he asked me if I would like it if he came home (see above posts). We had some pre-his-date, post-his-date bonding...it went well from my end (how it went on their end is their business, but she didn't feel the "chemistry").

So, this second date was more open ended. She was going to meet him at a certain place, they would probably go out to eat, she could meet MrS or not depending on what time she decided to arrive (he had a scheduled thing and would be at the place for a defined period of time, regardless of when she decided to come). Dude didn't know if he would come home or not, etc.

AND?!?...fine, I'm fine. I really LIKE being fine. (And I think the fact that he asked me the first time, and then followed through contributed to my current "fine-ness".)

I had a few moments of indecision: should I text him like I usually do? - when I am done with work and when I am home. Would I interrupt them? I decided that, since we hadn't made any other arrangements, that I would just do what I normally do. So I sent my usual "No reply needed" txt's at the intervals I usually do - "done doing P, going to do Q"... Each time, Dude responded by calling me - "We are here, doing x, then we are going to do y or z." "Have a good time." was my sincere response.

Haven't really had the wrap-up debriefing for this second date yet. She left before MrS picked Dude up. There may, or may not, have been sex involved. (Doesn't matter either way to me - except to confirm that IF there was sex involved, WAS a condom used per our agreements and did they have a safer sex/STI talk? - after we have been through this a few times I won't feel the need to ask, I just need to learn whether this is ingrained). Dude and MrS are at a movie and meeting up with some folks and will come home (IF they come home) after I am in bed.

I did see them both for a few minutes - after the date and before the movie (but in a location where we could not talk freely). No weird vibes from my end. We'll find out more later...

JaneQ

PS. My biggest fear, at this point, is that Dude will want to share "too much" information. He has no filters (what-so-ever). I don't need every detail - the broad picture is good enough.
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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  #42  
Old 08-02-2013, 04:07 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Location: Pennsyl-tucky
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It occurs to me...good thing this is my blog thread. Who the hell want's to listen to my "blow-by-blow" of each date my boyfriend goes on...? From the perspective of a non-involved party?

BTW - BP - I was thinking of you the other day, Dude was reading some "food-porn" out loud - the menu of a restaurant we are thinking checking out. MrS was all "stop torturing me if you aren't going to feed me...and I can't eat anyway" (he just had a tooth extraction). BDSM food-porn?

JaneQ
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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  #43  
Old 08-02-2013, 07:47 AM
Cleo Cleo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
It occurs to me...good thing this is my blog thread. Who the hell want's to listen to my "blow-by-blow" of each date my boyfriend goes on...? From the perspective of a non-involved party?
I do! I do!
__________________
early forties, straight.
the guys: Ren - husband; Curlz - bf of 2 years, Brig - bf of 7 months; Knight - non-sexual bf; MrBrown - it's complicated
Ren's girls: Lou - gf of 2 years, Liz - very new gf
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  #44  
Old 08-02-2013, 10:47 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,091
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cleo View Post
I do! I do!
Thanks Cleo!

Woke up this morning to no boys - but a missed call and a txt on my phone letting me know that they had met up with some friends from the music festival and where they were crashing for the night. This pattern pre-dates Dude and has nothing to do with his "date" - I want EITHER boy(s) in my bed when I wake up OR a message letting me know that you are OK and not coming home - otherwise I get anxious. (The ONE time this didn't happen MrS had wrecked his car so...)

So, quiet house to myself this morning - just me and the animals, and coffee, and the internet. Nice.

JaneQ
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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  #45  
Old 08-03-2013, 03:36 AM
wildflowers wildflowers is offline
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Location: Boston area
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My husband's just starting to venture into the dating world, so I've been having similar "wonder how I'm going to react to this" feelings. So far so good here as well. Definitely interested in hearing how it progresses.
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  #46  
Old 08-09-2013, 05:57 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,091
Default De-briefing

So...to follow up. Got home late from work the next night and we all settled into our usual evening routine - each on our own computer, listening to music, and doing our own thing. After a little while I got up and kissed them goodnight and went to read in bed (working in the AM - had to get up early).

After a bit, Dude came and snuggled up against me for a few minutes and said "So do you want to hear about Jane2?"*. Hesitation (Am I ready to see how I respond to this? ). "Sure." He cuddles up with me..."Well, MrS dropped me off about the time that she was arriving and we all chatted for a bit, then MrS left to do his stuff, then we went inside and talked for a while, then we did x, then we did y, then we had the safer sex/STI talk and she told me p/d/q, and we talked about z. Then she said she wanted to have sex so we went up to bed and had sex...a couple of times.” >pause< I feel myself take a break to see if this disclosure makes me feel any different...It doesn't - *whew*! (I was pretty sure they had had sex, so this wasn't a real surprise.) >unpause< “Then we slept, then we woke up and fooled around. She left around noon to go take care of her cat and I slept for the rest of the afternoon until MrS picked me up.”

We cuddled for a bit and I told him that I HAD to know was that if they had sex, that they had used condoms, but I'm glad to know that they had a good time. We got up and went back out to the computers and I asked him if he wanted to read what I had written in my blog here. He did. When he got to this part:

Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
PS. My biggest fear, at this point, is that Dude will want to share "too much" information. He has no filters (what-so-ever). I don't need every detail - the broad picture is good enough.
...he turned to me and asked. “So, did I do okay?” “Yes, sweetie, you did fine.”

The next day he asked me if I had posted to let you all know that he had done alright. It's a little late in coming but – now you know. He did fine.

They've been talking on the phone since then and tonight we (Dude, Jane2, MrS and I) all went out to dinner at a great restaurant in the city that none of us had been to before. Everything was good but some stuff was REALLY good (I wouldn't do it justice the way that BP would, so I won't try – BUT “sour cream ice cream” = YUM!). Enjoyable food, enjoyable company, enjoyable conversation. I didn't sense any awkwardness and everyone had a good time.

I don't know that Dude and Jane2 are going to hit it off, become friends or FWBs, or what. But she is a nice, comfortable, interesting person. She's poly-knowledgeable and poly-friendly but not certain if she is interested in being involved in a poly/open relationship again, and he's not real certain about the attraction level (I'm not getting NRE vibes). Whatever happens with them, I feel like I have learned something in the process.

Jane(“I-still-like-being-FINE”)Q

*Funny coincidence but this girl and I share the same first name in real life. We (MrS and I) were teasing him that he was just trying to minimize the chances that he would get in trouble for calling someone the wrong name during an intimate moment.
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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  #47  
Old 08-09-2013, 10:29 AM
Cleo Cleo is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 414
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It all sounds very relaxed.. I am happy for you!
__________________
early forties, straight.
the guys: Ren - husband; Curlz - bf of 2 years, Brig - bf of 7 months; Knight - non-sexual bf; MrBrown - it's complicated
Ren's girls: Lou - gf of 2 years, Liz - very new gf
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  #48  
Old 08-10-2013, 05:50 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Posts: 2,956
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Glad to hear things are unfolding well for you!

GG
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  #49  
Old 08-29-2013, 01:23 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,091
Default Caterpillar/Butterfly

Yowsa! So much has happened in August – hard to know where to start.

Dramatis Personae:

Old Characters:

Me, MrS and Dude – you already know (check sig for particulars)
MrClean – you might remember from such posts as "The MrClean Incident"and "A Night Out" (an update to those posts – he and his wife are in the process of divorcing – due to issues unrelated to those posts)
The Hippie-Freaks – (previously unnamed) basically the group of Dude's hometown friends that I met when we were "Coming Out...a little more."
Jane2 – Dude's second OKC date, starring in "Second Date - different chick" and "De-briefing".


New Characters: (coming up with four new aliases that I will remember is HARD...)

Gotsy – woman I met and messaged with on OKC
Abby – ah, you will have to read on....! >grin<
TBC – Abby's husband
Kola – Abby and TBC's girlfriend

The Background:

Dude has put himself in self-imposed quarantine for the month while he is undergoing a medical treatment (nothing serious, no worries – he just doesn't want to expose himself to infection...and he is coming home on Monday!). MrS has a few concerts/music events that he is planning on attending. I have been looking for other poly-bi-married women on OKC to talk to.

The Story: “How an introverted caterpillar gets cast in the role of social butterfly.”

Gotsy messages me on OKC – she is another poly-bi-married woman and happens to be fairly local. We chat. She is in a 6-7 person poly chain. She has a husband and a boyfriend. Her boyfriend has a wife, the wife has a boyfriend, etc. Her husband is dating but not in another relationship right now. There is a Meet-Up coming up soon...she invites me/us to attend with her/some of them. I was hoping that all three of us could go to a Meet-Up together, but...what the hell...I talk to the boys and RSVP for MrS and I to go. (For the record, this Meet-Up is not “poly-only” - a broader range of polys/swingers/kinksters attend).

The Meet-Up:

So MrS and I show up, Gotsy isn't there yet, we get food and drinks and MrS chats with some folks while I keep trying to re-swallow my pounding heart because there are SO MANY people I don't know. (Apparently this was a larger than usual turnout.) And, I am really worried that I won't recognize Gotsy (her OKC pics all look so different). The food was good – but I could barely eat, hadn't slept much in the last 24 hours, and was drinking way too fast. MrS kept feeding me oysters (isn't that supposed to be an aphrodisiac?)...

Gotsy arrives at the event. I DO recognize her (...and she recognizes me from a description of us I gave her – I don't have ID-able photos on OKC). We hug, we chat a bit, she introduces us to about 6-ba-jillion people that I won't remember. She excuses herself to go talk to some other folks for a bit. I take a deep breath....(whew). We socialize, MrS is his usual supportive loving self – initiating conversations, fetching drinks and food, drawing me into conversations. I drink a few more beers. I have to pee.

So, I am on my way back from the ladies room...and there is this woman sitting at the bar. (MrS is on the deck.) She looks at me. There are a few people between us. She is commenting to a guy that she is obviously there with. I lose sight of her. Some guy we talked to earlier says something to me. I might have said something back. People move. She is still looking at me. >something clicks< I find myself flowing into the space between her and her guy. “Hi.” I say. And then...

(story to be continued)
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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  #50  
Old 08-29-2013, 02:35 AM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,291
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AND?!...

Really, that was cruel.

Details posthaste JQS!

(Now rant is over, it seems like things are exciting! Go you!)
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