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  #21  
Old 08-13-2012, 12:31 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Just because he has 2 relationships at a time doesn't mean he has only ever had two partners. I assume he meant his non-live-in partners, even though there is only one of them at a time.

Lots of mono people will say "I have done this with my boyfriends/my girlfriends have all enjoyed this" and that doesn't mean they weren't mono.
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  #22  
Old 08-13-2012, 09:07 AM
Cleo Cleo is offline
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the weird thing is.... that I hate, hate, hate talking on the phone. So when texting and emailing came available it felt like they were invented just for me and was so grateful... I could just text a friend to set up a meeting, and then meet in person, instead of having to call and talk before we actually go to setting up the meeting. There seems to only be one human being in the world that I can have a normal phone conversation with - my husband. With everybody else, its either awkward silences or both of us talking at once

That said, I think my smartphone has definitely taken over my life way too much. I want to practice at being unavailable. I scold my husband for texting or checking his email when in company (we had a big fight once when we were at a dinner party and I glanced over, he was sitting next to me, and happened to read to first line of a text his GF had just sent him). But I have been guilty of doing the same..

Last night we had dinner with friends and because I was rather anxiously expecting an email from my BF I left my phone at home. It was such a relief and I had such a nice and relaxed evening, knowing it was impossible for me to check.

Something I really need to do more often.
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the guys: Ren - husband; Curlz - bf of 2 years, Brig - bf of 7 months; Knight - non-sexual bf; MrBrown - it's complicated
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  #23  
Old 08-13-2012, 09:15 AM
Cleo Cleo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Invi View Post
We had both effectively made our problems worse.
I really fail to see how you made these problems worse.

If I'm reading this correctly, the fact that you told him that you were upset with him being on the computer on date night made him text with other women?

It really seems like you need a talk about boundaries here...
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early forties, straight.
the guys: Ren - husband; Curlz - bf of 2 years, Brig - bf of 7 months; Knight - non-sexual bf; MrBrown - it's complicated
Ren's girls: Lou - gf of 2 years, Liz - very new gf
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  #24  
Old 08-13-2012, 06:49 PM
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newtoday newtoday is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
Just because he has 2 relationships at a time doesn't mean he has only ever had two partners. I assume he meant his non-live-in partners, even though there is only one of them at a time.

Lots of mono people will say "I have done this with my boyfriends/my girlfriends have all enjoyed this" and that doesn't mean they weren't mono.
Hi Tonberry, I understand that too however, just as a point of clarification, I too was confused by CdM's comments. He never stated past partners so when you read this, it sounds like it's in the present. (I bolded where applicable) Hence the confusion.

I'm just sayin'.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
Even though I live with one person, we have "date nights" where I am not expected to answer messages from my other partners. I addition, when I am out with my other partners, I don't expect routine texts or calls from my live-in partner. .
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  #25  
Old 08-14-2012, 05:23 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Wow, so picky over details....

I refuse to limit myself to a certain number of partners. My statements were made to be general comments about how I do poly, not specific to my particular situation. What I try to distinguish against is the idea that in things like this my "primary" has some sort of greater precedence when it comes to civility - however many partners I have, if I am out with one, the others, whether one or four, get the same treatment.

Any chance we could go back to the topic of this thread, now? ...or are there more questions about my use of plural forms?
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  #26  
Old 08-14-2012, 05:30 PM
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newtoday newtoday is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
Wow, so picky over details....
We knew what you were saying... just semantics.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
What I try to distinguish against is the idea that in things like this my "primary" has some sort of greater precedence when it comes to civility - however many partners I have, if I am out with one, the others, whether one or four, get the same treatment.
Good answer. Equal Respect for everyone. Nice!

Quote:
Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
Any chance we could go back to the topic of this thread, now? ...or are there more questions about my use of plural forms?
Question period closed.

Back to the thread.

In the age of Smartphones, it seems that it's the preferred method of communication these days. I recently met a new friend and the first question when we exhanged contact info was "What's your BBM Pin?" And hence we are forever connected. Until we delete each other!
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  #27  
Old 08-14-2012, 06:34 PM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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Wendigo doesn't have a cell phone and probably never will. He once needed to call Pretty Lady from our car and struggled with how to do so on a touch screen phone, yet we talk and message over Skype daily, even when we're going to see each other. A couple of times this month, Wendigo has had to cancel on practice/ me due to being sick and since he knows that I have a cell phone and that my old cell phone was capable of getting on facebook and yahoo messenger, he assumed that my new phone is too and sent me messages over facebook messenger because he knew I wasn't going to be home all morning. The problem is, switching back to Verizon made me revert back to a non smart phone and I can't actually access facebook messages from my phone. I hadn't thought to give him my new cell phone number because we always talked over YIM on my phone and not on the phone and he's stopped using YIM in favor of Skype, so I have been trying to figure out how to access Skype from work or my phone and failing. After driving out there last night, I just cracked down and gave him my cell phone number because the chances of me being able to even get a computer at the office are slim some days. This will change in 2 weeks when I get my own desk/ computer but right now I'm sharing with all the part time staff and can't really be chatting with my boyfriend at work anyway.

Last edited by BrigidsDaughter; 08-14-2012 at 06:45 PM.
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